2. Make yourself uncomfortable.
3. Never forget the value of hot cocoa.
4. You are loved.
Megan here, haaaappy Wednesday. Ohmygoodness, Three things:
1. My writing prof has been sick for the last two days(poor guy), pushing back our schedule a day so I don't have to stress over writing an essay tonight.
2. My Philosophy prof likes to talk a lot and we're now behind, so he's pushing our lecture back a day so I don't have to stress over reading new Philosophy material tonight.
3. My Psychology prof has decided to nix a chapter from our exam on Friday so that's one less chapter for me to stress over while studying tonight.
I cannot believe my good fortune during the last two days! Sorry, I had to share.
It's a long, wonderful, eventful day and I am both excited and nervous to go to the Vagina Monologues tonight, 1. Because I am extremely skittish and sensitive, and 2. Because I know two of the performers. *cough* Nicole and Riah. I am just plain ol' excited to see them perform. Now, upon thinking about how incredibly uncomfortable I'll be, I started to think about my stage fright which is ridiculously awful--it's been mentioned a few times in other posts.
I can't control my public speaking anxiety and it's actually gotten worse as I've gotten older despite my learning and application of various relaxation techniques. I'm starting to experience little bouts of anxiety randomly, even without public speaking, but I'm dealing with it. The thing is I've always wanted to feel comfortable performing and I usually can if I have adequate preparation and passion for what I'm doing. Nothing would make me happier than to perform my poetry for an audience, and I want to be able to do that...but I always let my anxiety hold me back. In short, I stay in my comfort zone instead of enduring the vulnerability and discomfort I experience when I'm placed in front of an audience. My comfort zone will never increase if I keep this up, so I'm going to work on challenging myself and hopefully you'll hear something about me performing in some capacity in the future--assuming the blog continues to run.
We have all of these things that we can't necessarily control about ourselves, anxiety, medical conditions, undesirable personality traits, experiences etc.--they're a part of being human. Sometimes we just cannot change our circumstances. It's not like I can up and decide to shed my humanity for a day or two. Being a human being just comes with certain conditions, and one of those conditions is that you will have flaws, BUT the brilliant thing is that, as humans, we have the ability to work on ourselves and control how we respond to those flaws. Not only that, but we can control how we respond to other people's flaws, whether that involves providing them guidance, positive regard, forgiveness, or simply just telling them they're loved. I think we forget that last one sometimes--the fact that we are loved despite our flaws. If I can't beat my public speaking anxiety, I can certainly work on coping with it and making it a non-issue. It's a cool plus side to that whole "being human" thing.
So accept and acknowledge your beautifully flawed self. Heck they're not even always a bad thing! Strength exists not in their absence, but in moving forward and developing as a human being despite their presence. You are loved and you are human. Remember that.
P.S. If you're ever having a tough day, listen to this song. It tends to cheer me right up.
You Are Loved by Josh Groban
As always, peace, love, and hugs.
-Megan
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