Relief

I went back to my psychologist today.  The past few months I have been feeling the pressure from life. Most of the time, I can figure things out, put systems in place, and continue on. But life has given me a ton of weird, genetically mutated lemons and I don't know how to make lemonade with them. That is to say, my way of dealing with things isn't sufficient any more. "Anxiety NOS - not otherwise specified" is what I was diagnosed with. Next week, my psychologist Amy and I will come up with a therapy plan and go from there.

After the appointment this morning, I felt something I have been waiting for: relief. Or should I say, the anticipation of relief. I am ready for my shoulders to relax, to feel rested in the morning, and to feel a good connection with someone again. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to feel relief.

My life is a mix of everything right now. I love my classes, yet I can't seem to get a good grasp on some topics. I love my family more than ever, but I am also finding more differences. I love my job in the costume studio and might have chances to co-design a show, but it doesn't pay well and takes a lot of time. Not to mention, I am (finally) a very poor college student. It's bittersweet. At around age 7, a child can begin to understand how words can have multiple meanings, but it seems only now am I fully understanding this concept of multiple meanings.

It's mucky right now, but I am slowly cleaning up the mess from the flood and rebuilding the slightly damaged walls. I'm getting there, but sometimes some time, effort, and outside help is needed. 

Relief is coming.

Peace!

-Nicole

Accepting help

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“Nothing makes one feel so strong as a call for help.” – Pope Paul VI

Happy Friday!

Everyone seems to be getting sick. And not only are we all sick down here in the Lou, it’s test time. From chemistry to German to archaeology, professors tend to pick the same weeks and/or days to give exams. It’s actually quite remarkable.

Although I haven’t gotten sick yet (knock on wood), I wasn’t able to go to any of my classes last week. This means that my entire week this week has been devoted to getting caught up in all my classes and I know others are in the same boat. It’s not easy. It’s harder if you try to get through it on your own.

Growing up, I was always taught that you should be independent and not rely on anyone. I think this could have been a really good lesson to learn, but it got taken a little too far. Until recently, I thought that I was weak if I asked for help. I “should” be able to solve my own problems. Life doesn’t work that way.

We all have needs. Sometimes they can get a little scary and overwhelming. We can’t do everything on our own. My social psychology professor would say, “People are cultural animals; we need each other to survive.” We all need a little help sometimes, but learning to ask for help is hard and accepting that help takes strength. They're a couple of the best lessons I've ever learned.

Stay strong and have a wonderful weekend!

Bekka