Accepting help

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“Nothing makes one feel so strong as a call for help.” – Pope Paul VI

Happy Friday!

Everyone seems to be getting sick. And not only are we all sick down here in the Lou, it’s test time. From chemistry to German to archaeology, professors tend to pick the same weeks and/or days to give exams. It’s actually quite remarkable.

Although I haven’t gotten sick yet (knock on wood), I wasn’t able to go to any of my classes last week. This means that my entire week this week has been devoted to getting caught up in all my classes and I know others are in the same boat. It’s not easy. It’s harder if you try to get through it on your own.

Growing up, I was always taught that you should be independent and not rely on anyone. I think this could have been a really good lesson to learn, but it got taken a little too far. Until recently, I thought that I was weak if I asked for help. I “should” be able to solve my own problems. Life doesn’t work that way.

We all have needs. Sometimes they can get a little scary and overwhelming. We can’t do everything on our own. My social psychology professor would say, “People are cultural animals; we need each other to survive.” We all need a little help sometimes, but learning to ask for help is hard and accepting that help takes strength. They're a couple of the best lessons I've ever learned.

Stay strong and have a wonderful weekend!

Bekka

Growing Pains

It's been a month since I've been back on campus. I have reorganized my room more than once, freaked out about grades a few times, and have had a few very busy days. I didn't realize it had only been a month until tonight, when I was adding a ton of events to my calendar on my computer. It seems more time than a month has passed - a lot has happened and it seems to be painful at times.

I used to have terrible growing pains when I was younger. My legs would throb and would be sensitive to touch. I never really understood why I had them - I wasn't too active and they would happen at the weirdest times, like in the middle of church or art class. To my 8-year-old self, it was a pain that was bothersome and I really didn't see the point of all that pain.

Of course now, I understand the purpose of growing pains.* A growing body means the body is changing and new things are about to happen. The outcome will always be positive - a body that is stronger and bigger than before. But until then, the growing may be painful. The past few weeks back on campus have been that way - a bit painful. I thought that once I was back on campus, this would just pick up where I left off. But I am finding that that isn't true. My friends, most of whom lived on the same floor as I did, are now scattered across campus and everyone is involved in different things. All in all, it has been difficult to stay connected.

It's been a growing pain. I'm learning that keeping connections with friends will be a continuing process and even more so, making new friends is more difficult than it was last year. It's not that I don't want to meet others, it's just difficult to get out of my comfort zone. I know that growing pains are necessary, but as many a parent will say, massaging the legs helps with the pain. What I need to do is stretch myself a bit more - stretch out my hand to meet someone new, help out an organization, and stretch myself to explore things I may have never thought of before.

Although growing pains are bothersome and complaining may help for an 8-year-old, I think it's high time for me to stretch myself up and out of what I know - there is so much more out there I have yet to learn about. My world I have created of a small group of friends can't last forever - it needs to grow, change, possibly be flipped on its head. There needs to be more of me, a big, greater, better me and isn't that the point of growing pains?

Peace!

-Nicole

*Although scientifically, growing pains are not connected to rapid, sudden growth, but for the purposes of this post, I'll just stick with the common understanding.

Sicko

"One of the most sublime experiences we can ever have is to wake up feeling healthy after we have been sick." -Rabbi Harold Kushner

Hey, it's Megan.  Hope you had a great Monday.

Well, family weekend was great and I was glad my aunt could make it up to spend it with me.  I think we both had a good time and were able to partake in activities on and off campus.  Unfortunately, I was sick the entire time.

Nicole and I have both suffered through the plague that hits campus every few weeks or so and my body hit the wall today.  I feel okay to an extent, but my throat is shot and I've been struggling with a hacking cough.  I even took off of work tonight (at the insistence of Nicole as well as my protesting throat) so I could get my homework done, relax a bit, and get to sleep early. As of writing this, I only have 15 pages left to read!  Also, I don't work until Sunday unless I pick up a shift, so now I can but more of my body's faculties towards healing up.  I think it was probably a good decision.

See, Nicole has enough sense to take time off from class and such and rest if she's sick.  Me? Not so much. Even today, I got home after class and all I could think about was how much work I have to do and how much I actually wanted to get all of it done.  Even if I was setting aside time to feel better, I wanted to instead use that time to get homework done.  My friend, Steph, eventually forced me into bed and even tucked me in.  It pays to have friends in college.  The lesson in all of this?  I clearly need to put my health higher up on the list of priorities and not always on the back burner.  Health is important--never ever forget that.  I've seen way too many people lose it or suffer with chronic conditions to not be taking better care of myself.  But, I am learning, and I am surrounded by people who are willing to force me to take care of myself, even if that's not my highest priority at the time.

So that's where I'm at.  The next time you hear from me, I will be good as new, but also perhaps a bit poorer from having had to buy so much medicine. :P

Be happy and well, but most of all, be healthy!

-Megan

Photo Prompt - A Sacred Place

Hey hey; Katie here!

Today I'm trying something new: a photo prompt.

Ready?

Sacred place: somewhere that at any time, you can go there to think, rest, relax. Somewhere that nothing can hurt you, or where you can let all your pain come out. Your sacred place is anything that you want it to be.

The last few days/weeks I have been extremely overwhelmed with all the changes finally sinking in. Its finally coming to my attention that college is my permanent place for the next four years (well, except summers..). Its so strange to think about how much is changing, and maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought. I am blessed to have amazing friends and family that have been my cheerleaders the past weeks without even knowing it.

Automatically, when I think of my sacred place I think of my church. I have been at the same church for 18 and a half years, so its definitely become a second home for me. But, then I thought about it some more and I happen to have many sacred places. My bed, when I need rest or comfort; Starbucks, when I just need a little boost; and almost anywhere I'm with my family. Knowing that I have so many places/people to fall back on makes everything in life a little better. Baby steps, right?

Have a happy Thursday & rest of your week!

xx Katie

We Just Finished Our First Broadcast!

This is a lovely video Megan and I created shortly after we finished our first KORD Radio broadcast. Check it out.

Listen LIVE to Megan and Nicole!

This evening is our first broadcast of our new radio show, Dorm Room 318!

6pm!

See that link right above? "Listen to KORD Radio?" Yeah, click that. And listen to Megan and I rock the mic... or possibly make a fool of ourselves. Either way, you should listen.

Also, 'like' our page on Facebook.

Happy listening!

National Suicide Prevention Week

"The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.' -Ben Okri

Hey there.  It's Megan.  I hope your Monday is pleasant.  I'm going to put a trigger warning on this post because of the sensitive nature of the subject.

So last week was National Suicide Prevention week and last Monday was World Suicide Prevention day.  A lot of people showed their support by wearing yellow or supporting the organization To Write Love On Her Arms by well, writing "love" on their arms. next to support of the LGBTQ community, suicide prevention is the biggest cause I fight for, and it's a pretty significant reason why I chose to be a psychology major and contemplate working as a school psychologist. On the blog this year, I'm fighting against the urge to sugarcoat my posts or only talk about more positive topics, but just because we're college students doesn't mean we don't have experiences with things like this.  Through friends and family, I have more knowledge and awareness than I ever wanted to have.

The last time I'd checked, 1 in 5 teens will seriously contemplate suicide, and roughly 1% of all teenagers make an attempt. Suicide is complex, and I don't have the answers. So I'm going to focus more on the stigma and the aftermath of contemplating or attempting.

In psychology, we discuss Nature vs. Nurture and what contributes more to who we are as people.  In this case, nurture would be a genetic predisposition, a family history, a chemical imbalance, what have you. It's anything built into the genetic makeup that would predispose someone to depression and/or suicide.  The nurture aspect would be the environment or events such as bullying, abuse, death of a loved one, rejection due to LGBTQ status, etc. It's anything exterior to the person. In my opinion, a genetic predisposition is certainly not helpful in situations like these, but such things are often triggered or exacerbated by the environment.  There are exceptions I'm sure, but actual events often serve as catalysts capable of sending someone into a tailspin. However; in the same way that the environment has a huge impact on whether or not a genetic predisposition may lead to contemplation of suicide or a suicide attempt, so too can the environment help to heal and improve the situation.

So I'm going to make a small call to action. Too often we focus on the negatives here.  Maybe we offer pity and blame, focus on the events or situation that led someone to contemplate such a drastic action, or try to cover up the problem and pretend like everything's "normal."  I'm going to tell you right now that that isn't very helpful. Many times we jump to medication and medical intervention which I want to stress is VERY important, but I think there should be more emphasis on how we can structure environments beneficial to those who have struggled with suicide.  

1. Start by ending the stigma. People who have gone through this or who are survivors of it all have their own personal stories. They're people, and what happened in their past does not, and should not, define their future. 

2. Love.  A loving and supportive environment helps to heal a lot of wounds.  Help to make it understanding.  At the same time, try to understand that this experience does not mean someone is broken or damaged.  It's a life altering experience to be sure, but as the quotation says, we are capable of being greater than our suffering.  Just because someone has endured this does not mean they are incapable of standing on their own two feet.

3. Get people the help they need.  Sometimes we just can't provide the kind of support or answers someone requires.  I know I've had to step back from a few situations and put it in the hands of someone more capable and trained to handle the situation.  Even if you know someone will fight you on it, it's better to have someone upset with you and there, then be in their good graces but have them gone.

The environment someone is immersed in can push them to the brink, but it can also pull them back. The good thing about environments is that they can change, either through time or through our own doing.  A horrible environment can give way to a wonderful one. Family, friends, a school, an organization, even a cause can all be a part of a system that gives meaning to someone's life.  Never underestimate how important the environment can be in someone's recovery. 

If it weren't for my environment over the last five years, I wouldn't be here typing this. 

Be safe, be kind, be well.

-Megan

Molehills

My foot was bleeding this morning. I was sitting at my desk and I suddenly felt a sneeze coming on. I got up, grabbed a tissue, and quickly caught the sneeze. I tossed my used tissue away and as I looked down to make sure the crumpled ball of tissue made it in, I noticed the top of my foot was bleeding. I quickly cleaned it up and put a bandaid on it. Megan asked me what happened and I answered, "I have no idea." I didn't shave this morning, so my razor couldn't have nicked me and there isn't many sharp things that would skin the top of my foot.

Whenever I babysit or am around kids in general, it seems a child always ends up falling over. Some of the time they are fine and pull themselves up without a second thought. Sometimes, it really does hurt and they need some help. But most of the time, they fall and only when someone looks at them do they start crying. My mom and I decided a while ago the reason why this happens is only when they themselves realize it or someone acknowledges it do they feel the pain of falling down.

The same goes for my foot this morning. Only when I looked down at my foot (which clearly had stopped bleeding a while ago) did I feel the slight twinge of pain. Although the pity hug I got from Megan made me feel better, if I hadn't given it much thought besides cleaning it, I would have been fine. As the old saying goes, "Don't make mountains out of molehills."

For me, sometimes life seems so difficult and stressful and annoying and every other word I can use to describe an oh-so-difficult life. Of course, life can become quite difficult, but sometimes I make mountains out of molehills. That two-page paper? It becomes the largest paper I've written in my life. That meeting I attend every week and have no leadership position? It becomes the most time consuming thing in the world. And it seems when there is a slight miscommunication between me and someone else, the whole relationship is down the drain.

Hours later when I got back from church this morning, I was scratching my foot and realized I had a bandaid there. I had nearly forgotten about it. What I was stressing out about before and was the biggest catastrophe was now nearly nothing. This rings true with everything else. The paper, if I take it in stride and simply get it done, is an easy paper to write. The meeting just becomes part of routine and somethings to look forward to. And that slight miscommunication is easily worked out and life can go on. It seems if I don't give those little things my attention, they become a part of the flow of the day and not a road block.

Don't make mountains out of molehills. It's more of a pain than it's worth.

Peace!

-Nicole

Keep Your Heart Open

1. Conversations with strangers are not always scary or awkward.
2. Sometimes you need to be extra gentle with yourself.
3. Real, deep conversations can change a person's way of thinking.

Hello! It's Malyn again. This week was...incredible, and incredibly busy.

Being a political science major who's passionate about a lot of things, especially during an election year, is a blessing and a curse. There is ALWAYS volunteering and voter registering and phone calling to be done (By the way, if you aren't yet registered to vote & you either live or attend school in MN here's a helpful website: the MN Secretary of State's page) ....yeah. Even in writing a blog post I can't truly escape it :)

And actually, I find myself enjoying it. This Saturday morning, instead of sleeping in, I went and did phone calling, working to prevent the "one man-one woman" marriage amendment from passing. I've done my fair share of calling for campaigns, recruiting volunteers and figuring out who people are likely to vote for, but this was completely different: We were sharing our stories and information about the impact of the amendment, and actually trying to change minds with the power of honesty and reflection, and questioning the views you've always held.

It wasn't bad. It wasn't even nerve-wracking. In fact, I truly enjoyed being able to share my story. It felt REALLY good to have an impact.

As I dealt with my learning curve and taking in new information, I thought a lot about letting myself make mistakes, forgiving and learning from them. I've struggled with depression over the past few years, and so the tendency to get angry with myself is still something I'm learning to quell. "Let it go" has become a new mantra for me.

Then, in the midst of being busy and making some mistakes, I caught the cold that's been going around campus. While musing that Voldemort's actually really lucky to not have a nose that gets stuffed, I took things slowly and gently, allowing for the fact that I didn't feel great. I even bought myself a slice of chocolate cheesecake, because the most comforting thing when I'm sick is good food.

Peace and have a fabulous week! :)

-Malyn

Happiness lays somewhere in the future..

TODAY IS THURSDAY!
Do you know what that means? It means its KATIE DAY!

Today, I was honestly not sure where to start. I have been super stressed out the past week and have been having some major mood fluctuations. When Nicole reminded me to blog today, I honestly had no idea what I was going to talk about. Normally, we, here at DR718, talk about lessons and whatnot; but I didn't think I really had a lesson to share with you today.

The other day, I was reading my wonderful RA's blog, and she mentioned something about a 'First line generator,' and that thought fluttered into my crazy brain about ten minutes ago. So here I am, with a first line of "Happiness lays somewhere in the future.." I don't think that I will write a story with that to push me in, but  I do find it rather ironic that those specific words would appear.

A member of my high school class died of a brain aneurysm last fall, and I have been thinking about her a lot lately. Her motto was 'never give up'; and therefore that somewhat became our class motto.

Never give up.

Its somewhat powerful isn't it? You hear it all the time; but when you really think about it, it is quite the challenge. Never give up. This past week, this advice/motto has been a strong driver in keeping me doing what I want to do in life.

So today, I pass it on to you.
Never give up. 

xx Katie.