Molehills

My foot was bleeding this morning. I was sitting at my desk and I suddenly felt a sneeze coming on. I got up, grabbed a tissue, and quickly caught the sneeze. I tossed my used tissue away and as I looked down to make sure the crumpled ball of tissue made it in, I noticed the top of my foot was bleeding. I quickly cleaned it up and put a bandaid on it. Megan asked me what happened and I answered, "I have no idea." I didn't shave this morning, so my razor couldn't have nicked me and there isn't many sharp things that would skin the top of my foot.

Whenever I babysit or am around kids in general, it seems a child always ends up falling over. Some of the time they are fine and pull themselves up without a second thought. Sometimes, it really does hurt and they need some help. But most of the time, they fall and only when someone looks at them do they start crying. My mom and I decided a while ago the reason why this happens is only when they themselves realize it or someone acknowledges it do they feel the pain of falling down.

The same goes for my foot this morning. Only when I looked down at my foot (which clearly had stopped bleeding a while ago) did I feel the slight twinge of pain. Although the pity hug I got from Megan made me feel better, if I hadn't given it much thought besides cleaning it, I would have been fine. As the old saying goes, "Don't make mountains out of molehills."

For me, sometimes life seems so difficult and stressful and annoying and every other word I can use to describe an oh-so-difficult life. Of course, life can become quite difficult, but sometimes I make mountains out of molehills. That two-page paper? It becomes the largest paper I've written in my life. That meeting I attend every week and have no leadership position? It becomes the most time consuming thing in the world. And it seems when there is a slight miscommunication between me and someone else, the whole relationship is down the drain.

Hours later when I got back from church this morning, I was scratching my foot and realized I had a bandaid there. I had nearly forgotten about it. What I was stressing out about before and was the biggest catastrophe was now nearly nothing. This rings true with everything else. The paper, if I take it in stride and simply get it done, is an easy paper to write. The meeting just becomes part of routine and somethings to look forward to. And that slight miscommunication is easily worked out and life can go on. It seems if I don't give those little things my attention, they become a part of the flow of the day and not a road block.

Don't make mountains out of molehills. It's more of a pain than it's worth.

Peace!

-Nicole

Connections

1. Don't put your summer clothes away...you just might need them in March.
2. Pralines are delicious.
3. Wear green, especially on St. Patrick's Day.
4. Make some new connections.

My life is theatre 24/7...or at least, it feels that way. I have had practice every day for about 3 hours each since last Tuesday. My day consists of going to class, having a small break, eating, class again, work, dinner, then rehearsal, then homework starting at 10. I'm behind in a few classes and my sleep is a bit minimal, but overall, I can't particularly complain about my life.

But before my life became crazy, I was dreading it, which does happen nearly every time, but this time it wasn't about me being able to get everything done, but the fact I would be with a group of people who I would have to make all new connections with. It was an exciting thought to know I would have a ton more people in my circle of friends, but the effort behind it and the being away from what was comfortable was of a concern to me. It felt like I was too far into my year to make the effort to make new friends.

As my life gets busier and I interact with more people, I am re-discovering my love for making connections with others. Sure, during rehearsal I talk with people but it's very limited and spoken in whispers. But it's the time we spend before and after rehearsals, during breaks, and passing each other is what is so thrilling. Like today. I really should have gone straight back to my dorm after rehearsal to catch up on homework, but instead I spent a good chunk of time talking with a few of my cast mates. Not only did I get some wonderful hugs, but I finally felt I had arrived - it won't be awkward anymore to walk up to one of them and start a conversation (that maybe has some meaning). It's easy again.

When I started school back in September, I tried to make as many connections as I could. It was exhausting, but I'm glad I did. I can now walk around campus and say hi to a ton of people I pass. I created a pretty close-knit group of people that I depend on and hang out with a lot. But I pretty much stopped there. I have made a few connections, but haven't put a lot of effort in maintaining them or making them grow.

So here's my lesson: grow in relationship, whether that be with someone old or with someone completely new - but you need to make them grow deeper, wider, more complex, more loving, more trusting. They need to be more, because you just might become more yourself.

Peace!

-Nicole

Best Facebook Hack Ever

1. 3 hour naps are glorious.
2. Twizzlers are yummy.
3. Don't leave your computer open...your Facebook will be hacked.
4. Sometimes crazy things happen.

So Megan left her computer open in my dorm while she ran back to her dorm to grab a few things. So, I hacked her Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. (A 'hack' is when you pose as a person on their profile, often done when the person is gone.) I took my opportunity to write something on her Facebook. So instead of writing another post, I thought I would share what I wrote. Here you go.

Hello world. I am Nicole and Megan made the mistake of leaving her compute open in my dorm while she was running back to her's to grab some stuff. So, I took this opportunity to hack her Facebook and post something for the world to see.

Let me start off by saying it's been quite the adventure the past few months of college. I grew up near Concordia (only about 15 minutes away), so I didn't expect to experience too much change. But boy was I wrong. I grew up an only child living with just my mom. Now I am living with 30 girls, sharing one bathroom and having to figure out a balance with them. I have met people who I never would have had the opportunity to meet otherwise, even though I am only 15 minutes away from home. One of those people is Megan. Megan and I were talking a few days ago about how we probably would have never been friends before college. We aren't completely sure why this is true, but somehow the circumstances and timing were right to make this friendship work.

So here's my little message to you: sometimes crazy things happen. Sometimes you end up tackling someone to the ground and think that now that person is going to hate you...but then you end up connected at the heart and spending hours talking about anything and everything. (Yay Megan!) Or maybe sometimes you are at a football game and you are a little too hyper for your own good and the person next to you leans over and says, "Do you speak whale?" and then you end up being "those girls" on your floor that everyone has to tell to shut up because you are laughing too loud. (Yay Melissa!)

The thing is all this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't let myself be a bit crazy. Maybe sometimes you need to be a bit insane to become sane...who knows?

Well, Megan's back and is currently sitting on a bed, writing what I'm sure is an poem or thought. It's really cool to see - she's sort of in her element.

Ok, that's all I've got. Thanks for reading my hack note.

Peace!

-Nicole

Fairy Dust

1. Finding an on-campus job is difficult.

2. Don't leave 8-10 page papers to the last minute.

3. Christmas gifts are hard to think of.

4. Think happy thoughts and the fairy dust will do the rest.

A lot has gone wrong in the past two days. First off, I procrastinated a 8-10 page paper until last night and it wasn't simply a analytical paper; it was a research paper on the use and effectiveness of meditation in anxiety treatment. I had all of my research done, but I had to paraphrase, use, and weave together 14 sources eloquently. I didn't really start the paper until about 8pm last night and I didn't finish it until 2:30am. Then I had to get up at 6:45.

Second, I spilled tea all over my desk. I save my computer, but my case now smells like mint tea.

Third,  I opened my email inbox yesterday and there, waiting for me to read, was an email telling me if I got an on-campus job. I read it and turns out I didn't get it. This is the third for fourth job I applied to and didn't get. I felt so defeated and quite angry that I still didn't have a job. I'm mean, come on! I am a hard worker and I am super organized and quite personal.

Fourth, because it's Christmas concert season and the semester is coming to a close, every single one of my friends has a different schedule from each other...so we haven't seen much of each other. Although I see them nearly every day, I still miss the contact I get.

A lot has gone wrong. But, then again, a lot has gone right. I got a Subway gift card in the mail from a foundation that gave me a scholarship, I got a washing machine right away tonight, I got to wear my costume for the first time for the 10 minute scene I'm in, and one of my good friends from high school who I haven't seen since mid-summer might be coming to stay with me for a few days.

We tend to focus on the terrible things of a day. Bad energy, like all energy, is contagious. And bad energy requires less of us - it's easy to succumb to. If we let the bad things get us down, we tend to stay down because, well, sometimes it's easier to complain than it is to smile.

But smiling isn't all that hard. "You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air," as said by Wendy in Peter Pan. Good energy breeds good energy. It picks you up off your feet and gives you a little nudge to keep on going.

So don't let bad thoughts bring you down because then you can't fly. And who doesn't want to do that?

Peace!

-Nicole

Busy

1. The third floor of the library is also a very good place to study at 10:30am.
2. A vacuumed floor is an amazing thing to behold.
3. Chocolate milk makes a dreary day just a bit brighter.
4. Life gets busy at times, but it is just fine.

Let me tell you my schedule for today.

8:00 Wake up, shower, get ready
9:00 Meet Megan for breakfast, have her help me memorize my lines
9:50 go to the poetry chapel with Megan
10:30 walk Megan to Spanish, then head to the library for some homework and some blogging
12:50ish eat a small lunch
1:20 take a Spanish test and hopefully get done early to squeeze in some homework before the next class. 2:40-4:00 go to theatre productions class
4:30-5:30 go to Spanish conversation group
5:30 grab a quick dinner
6:15 be in the theatre, wearing all black, and do make-up and costume changes for the musical
10:30 practice for the scene I'm in
11:45 back to dorm then do some homework and head to bed hopefully before 2
6:50am Wake up and go to class

I'm just a bit busy. This is kind of what my week looks like too. I'm on the technical crew for Grease and this week is technical week, which means it's mass semi-organized chaos. I don't think I've been this busy since this past spring and even then I had time to breathe and sleep. From the looks of it, I won't have much time for even that this week.

Being busy is oftentimes a good thing. It means you are doing something and enjoying life. But that doesn't mean that if you aren't busy your life is meaningless. I always thought I should be busy to have a purpose. But now I have found that to be not true at all. My life is so amazing right now and I'm not nearly as busy. I am spending each night laughing with friends and meeting new people. Relationships have grown deeper and as I have said before, I'm happy.

But life should be a bit busy at times. It changes the pace and teaches you a whole new set of lessons. So find a balance. Don't overload yourself, even if you think you should build up your resumé or find some place to be. Oftentimes the best things in life come when your schedule isn't packed full of things. But if your life is busy, like mine is right now, take a few deep breaths, take one step at a time, and be in the moment.

Just enjoy whatever you've got.

Peace!

-Nicole

PS I might not be posting much this week because of my schedule. I'll get Megan and Melissa to fill in for me.

Unforeseen Outcomes

1. Purple hair dye is amazing, except when it turns blue.
2. Going home is bittersweet.
3. Red hats are cute.
4. There can be unexpected outcomes.

Sorry for the long period of not posting. It was mid-semester break for us and I spent most of my time doing nothing, so not much was learned. Monday night, though, Megan came over and we dyed a section of her hair purple. The end result ended up being blue instead of purple. We then curled up and watched Let Me In, which is not fun at 2 in the morning. During the movie, Megan kept on staring at her hair. "It's blue!," she would whisper every once in a while, "This is an unexpected outcome!"

I asked her why it was an 'unexpected outcome'. She said not only did the color come out wrong, but she never thought she would ever dye her hair. She then proceeded to tell me that the past two months of us knowing each other has been an unforeseen outcome, which seems to be true.

An unexpected outcome is not necessarily bad nor is it necessarily good; it is simply unexpected. When I met Megan, I tackled her on accident. (See this post for reference.) When I did bring her down, all that was running through my head was, "Oh snap. Now this friendship is never going to work." But then, somehow, our relationship seemed to bloom and quite quickly too. For me, and probably for Megan, our relationship is an unforeseen outcome.

A few days ago, we were talking and Megan put it quite eloquently, "Imagine everyone going around and tackling people. Tackling and being tackled is an intimate experience - it would totally mess with people. It's physical contact before physical contact has been okayed. Who knows, maybe you're a revolutionary?" Now I'm not saying you should go around and start tackling people, although it would be a funny thing to see, but here's my point: life is full of unexpected outcomes. Sometimes they are terrible, but other times, they are amazing.

Instead of panicking and not knowing what to do, accept the fact that life is full of unexpected events and outcomes and keep living. Maybe we should even start to create unexpected outcomes. We often want so much control of our lives, when in reality, we have not much control at all. A lot of our lives are 'controlled' by other people's actions. Which means we have 'power' over other people's lives. So maybe we should go around and start tackling people and see what happens. I think life would be a bit more exciting if suddenly we all started to create situations where the end result is unknown. Living would become more real.

So, maybe tackling isn't such a bad thing.

Peace!

-Nicole

PS Megan is taking a hiatus for today, which is why I'm posting on Wednesday.

Hold on Tight

1. Doctor Who is weird.
2. Drink lots of water.
3. There's a light up ahead.
4. The rungs on loft ladders are slippery.

Megan here, happy Wednesday!

Today has the potential to be the most stressful day of my collegiate career thus far, complete with a blood donation, paper due, a meeting, and a group project. In short, I am hoping to crawl back to my room around 10 pm with one less pint of blood in me to start my homework for the night. It will be a marathon of a day.

It's a little bit funny, I always wake up in my loft and perform some tricky maneuver to get down that involves hanging on to weird handholds while finding the metal rungs, and the entire time I silently pretend to be some sort of spiderwoman. Why? Well because sometimes you slip off the rungs and if you're holding on tight you can calmly maintain control and touch down on tile as if you didn't just have a miniature heart attack. I don't really think anyone said that college would be easy. If they did, they lied. The only thing I can do today is hunker down, hold on for dear life, and give the appearance that it was all a planned stunt. It will end up all right. This too shall pass.

It makes me think though... I always pass off my tendency to worry as just a part of my personality. You know, a character flaw? But... what if it isn't? What if the tendency to worry is just another conditioned response to stimuli? I think it would be pretty cool if I could just retrain myself to take it all in stride like SOME people seem to be able to. (*cough* *cough* Nicole) I wonder if it would simply be a matter of retraining the brain to not associate "busy" with "stressful." Whatever the case may be, it's an interesting thought to ponder.

Well dear reader, it's time I get ready and go stuff myself full of protein laden eggs and cottage cheese. Take good care of yourselves. Take good care of each other.

-Megan