How To: Watch People Grow

A week ago, I got back from a 10 day adventure across the country with 40 other people to the ELCA National Youth Gathering, saw the ocean, overtook New Orleans with 37,000 other Lutherans, walked into an empty Superdome, got terribly ill, went on a few roller coasters, and had the greatest pleasure of watching people grow.

My home for the past two weeks - bus 718!

When I got on the bus early on the 14th of July, I expected it to be like any other trip... and I was right. It was full of crazy loud teenagers, high tensions, sleep deprivation, and good conversations. But something was different - I was able to watch it all. I had been a student on the last trip to the Youth Gathering in 2009, which was an amazing experience. Now three years later, I decided to tag along for this trip.

I had five "children" in my group, most of whom I knew before this trip. Our conversations in the beginning were rough and a bit sluggish, as expected, but on the last two days something unexpected for me happened. The conversation flowed and flourished and I heard things I never even thought of before. I saw eyes with a new spark and I knew that beyond this trip is where real growth will be seen.

I also saw Megan grow. We had someone drop out of the trip a few months before we left and my mom (the director of youth at my church) decided to invite Megan to go along. Megan was cautious and thought herself into a tizzy about it all. Although I was happy to have my partner-in-crime along for the trip, I was also excited to see her find some other partners-in-crime. And she did. I barely had time to talk to her. And since I cannot speak for her, here is what Megan thought of it all.

So what about me? It's hard to know. When I was younger, I knew if I had suddenly changed after camp and other 'mountain-top experiences'. But now that I'm older, it's harder to tell. I think after this trip and watching so many hearts and minds change, I can't help but feel I've changed and grown myself.

It seems to me that change is easier to see after a period of time. Comparing me a few weeks ago and me now, I can see the change. I dunno what that is, but it's there. I guess only time will tell with new experiences and new people, but I guess I'm ok with that.

Peace!

-Nicole

How To: Let Someone Surprise You

1. Believe everything people tell you.  There's no way they're not telling you the whole truth.
2. Underestimate your friends.
3. Underestimate your parents.
4. Refrain from texting people because you don't want to impose.  It will give them time to drive to your town.
5. Tell everyone where you're going and the exact time you leave.  It will give them time to call your parents.

In case you didn't hear--but you probably did if you read Nicole's last post--I had quite the birthday.  First things first, birthdays are not a big thing in my family.  You get a cake if you're lucky.  We'll take you out to your favorite restaurant eventually, but they've never been super celebrated.  For the record, it's not that we never celebrate, we just do it when it's convenient.  I've always celebrated my birthday on July 3rd when my family gets together because the church and town throws a party. Three of us grandkids have birthdays in July so it's nice and convenient.  Plus there's a fireworks show.  Sometimes I'll have a bonfire in late July or early August if I'm feeling motivated.

I did not expect anything different this year.  I really didn't.  Every time Nicole would mention my birthday, I told her I wasn't planning anything.  She would always get upset and the conversation would end with something like:

Nicole:  You're so frustrating.  You're driving me crazy.
Me: I'm sorry, I told you I might do something in August.

So the night before my birthday, I was feeling a little weird about turning 20.  It's a scary number, especially when you feel like you should be taller or just feel older. I was talking to Nicole when Melissa asked me to come over and watch a movie. I asked Nicole if I should go and she told me I should. Mind you, this was 11:45 at night. I knew Nicole had something to do with it, I thought she put Melissa up to it. I decided to go to get my mind off things and when I walked downstairs, there was a figure in a hoodie just chilling on the couch.  I thought it was Melissa's sister, until the figure started laughing.  Helloooo Nicole. Surprise #1.  At that point I thought that was the extent of the surprise.  I had no reason to believe anything else.  I was in complete and utter shock.  For weeks I had heard her griping about how she was working that weekend. I smiled for the rest of the night--until I went to bed at 4 am.

Melissa and Nicole wanted to take me out for lunch the next day, but I declined, saying I had a grad party to go to. Nicole told me the grad party started at 2...at which point I knew this was a lot deeper than I thought and that my parents knew about this. Surprise #2.  So they took me out to lunch the next day and we made plans to hook up with Melissa after she got off work at 9. Meanwhile, Nicole and I headed to that grad party.  After that, we went to my place, rented a movie, and I started to wind down for what I thought would be a relaxing night.  I decided to check the mail, at which point Nicole told me she told people to write letters to me.  Surprise #3.

We took some time to chill before watching the film when all of a sudden my doorbell rang.  Nicole ran to go get it and at THAT point, I knew I was in for much, much more. Surprise #4.  My friends started showing up and I was treated to my first ever surprise party, which included having packing peanuts poured on me multiple times and one heck of a cake. My parents knew about everything.  Everything.

I had no reason to suspect anything. No one made me suspect anything and even if there were hints, I never picked up on them.  Nicole has never been dishonest and this has dealt a serious blow to my trust! :P  Maybe this is what I get for befriending people with acting experience?  After reluctantly kicking people out because we both had horribly early mornings, we went to bed.  As I was practically in tears out of pure happiness and awe that someone had put in so much time and effort to throw me a party, Nicole said, "I told you, I just like birthdays." Go figure.

And that is how to let someone surprise you.  Needless to say, Melissa and Nicole turned turning 20 into an event I won't soon forget.

With love and hugs,

Megan

How To: Surprise Someone

Steps:

1. Fib just a bit. Create an illusion of something, only to break it later.

2. Get other people in on it. The more, the merrier.

3. Let the person find out about the surprise...don't just tell them about it.

4. Don't be to rigid about timing. Be flexible - again, let the person figure things out themselves. It's more of a surprise then.

5. Offend the person just a little bit. (But not enough so that they are angry at you.)

6. Overall, make sure the person is enjoying everything.

This past weekend was Megan's 20th birthday. And before I say anything else, let me first say that I love birthdays. I plan for my birthday months in advance and I adore going to other people's birthdays. To me, birthdays are a celebration of life. No matter what the past year entailed, a birthday is a celebration of making it another year and the wish of more birthdays to come. I love birthdays.

To Megan, though, birthdays are nothing special. Being so close to her, this was an issue. So I started to plan. I told her I wouldn't be able to make it down for her birthday because I had to work. Then I contacted a few of her friends from home and got them in on it. Heck, I even talked to her mom. I arrived at Melissa's house, who I was staying with, and there we put our plan into action. The whole weekend went flawlessly. I couldn't have asked for it to go any better.

I hate surprises. I don't like not knowing what's going on. I like being in control, mainly. It seems most of the surprises in my life have had a bad edge to them. April Fools is my enemy. Horror movies? Never going to happen. Suspense movies? Yeah, no. But for some strange reason, I love surprising other people. I love getting reactions out of people. Megan asked me what my favorite part of the weekend was and my first response was "Your reactions." Her reaction was mainly shock and then pure enjoyment.

I think I've learned over the past weekend and even in the past months is that surprises can be good. Like a surprise birthday party. I've also discovered that surprises aren't always revealed all in one moment. Sometimes they take months. I'm surprised at how my relationships with people have developed and I'm surprised at what classes I enjoyed. And getting that surprise reaction out of others is cool too, maybe just because it's a surprise at what their reaction will be.

Surprises are confusing, but often very worth it. You learn a bit more about yourself and others, no matter what the outcome.

Peace!

-Nicole