How To: Surprise Someone

Steps:

1. Fib just a bit. Create an illusion of something, only to break it later.

2. Get other people in on it. The more, the merrier.

3. Let the person find out about the surprise...don't just tell them about it.

4. Don't be to rigid about timing. Be flexible - again, let the person figure things out themselves. It's more of a surprise then.

5. Offend the person just a little bit. (But not enough so that they are angry at you.)

6. Overall, make sure the person is enjoying everything.

This past weekend was Megan's 20th birthday. And before I say anything else, let me first say that I love birthdays. I plan for my birthday months in advance and I adore going to other people's birthdays. To me, birthdays are a celebration of life. No matter what the past year entailed, a birthday is a celebration of making it another year and the wish of more birthdays to come. I love birthdays.

To Megan, though, birthdays are nothing special. Being so close to her, this was an issue. So I started to plan. I told her I wouldn't be able to make it down for her birthday because I had to work. Then I contacted a few of her friends from home and got them in on it. Heck, I even talked to her mom. I arrived at Melissa's house, who I was staying with, and there we put our plan into action. The whole weekend went flawlessly. I couldn't have asked for it to go any better.

I hate surprises. I don't like not knowing what's going on. I like being in control, mainly. It seems most of the surprises in my life have had a bad edge to them. April Fools is my enemy. Horror movies? Never going to happen. Suspense movies? Yeah, no. But for some strange reason, I love surprising other people. I love getting reactions out of people. Megan asked me what my favorite part of the weekend was and my first response was "Your reactions." Her reaction was mainly shock and then pure enjoyment.

I think I've learned over the past weekend and even in the past months is that surprises can be good. Like a surprise birthday party. I've also discovered that surprises aren't always revealed all in one moment. Sometimes they take months. I'm surprised at how my relationships with people have developed and I'm surprised at what classes I enjoyed. And getting that surprise reaction out of others is cool too, maybe just because it's a surprise at what their reaction will be.

Surprises are confusing, but often very worth it. You learn a bit more about yourself and others, no matter what the outcome.

Peace!

-Nicole

To Tell the Truth

1. Appreciate the opportunities you've had.
2. Be nice on April Fools' Day, or else people might not talk to you.
3. Be prepared to face some Karma.
4. Tell the truth.

Megan here, hope you all have a great Easter break!

Last Thursday, I was lucky enough to hear National Book Award winners, Nikky Finney and Thanhha Lai, at a discussion and reading hosted by NPR's Lynn Neary.  Anyone who knows me well knows I am an enormous poetry nut and so I naturally jumped at the chance to hear Finney who won in the category of Poetry for her book, Head Off and Split. For Finney, the concept of truth kept coming up again and again, she cited Adrienne Rich as a major influence and credited her for teaching her how to tell the truth.  Unfortunately, the poetic community is now grieving Adrienne Rich, as she passed away last Wednesday night.

I am going to let you in on one of my little secrets.  I am a fantastic liar.  I really am.  I can spin a web of lies a mile wide and probably look you in the eyes and smile while doing so.  If this is sounding alarm bells in your head, relax.  I am not a pathological liar, nor am I sociopathic.  With great power comes great responsibility, and in this case, I think the greater power lies in me having the nerve and integrity to tell the truth despite my skill.  Just because I can, doesn't mean I always do.

I've always known I could lie and lie well, but it's been on my mind ever since I executed my various April Fools' Day shenanigans with relative ease. see here: Just Kidding.  Honestly, I'm not proud of it.  It means that, at one point, maybe even many points, I was so uncomfortable with the truth and the thought of revealing the truth, that I became far too good at hiding it.  Thankfully, times change, and I am anything but guarded these days.

Finney's suggestion that we should tell the truth seems so simplistic, yet it sounded so profound coming from her hushed whisper--a product of laryngitis.  We have to present the truth to the world as well as to our own selves. It's a scary thought. I don't deceive the world lately, but I do plenty of lying to myself, such as "This is what I want to say." "I really enjoy this" or even "This is why I'm feeling this way" when really, I would much rather say something less sugar-coated and I may despise what I'm doing in that moment.  Being true to yourself is where and how you find happiness, at least with my experience.  It's just unfortunate that this is sometimes really, really difficult to do.

Tell the truth as you know it. Strip away all the false fronts, false information, and false smiles--maybe even false frowns.  If you're happy, go out and be happy.  If you're sad, recognize that and try to improve it. Try not to hide your emotions--both good and bad--from the world.  Truth is complicated, even subjective at times, but it is all of our jobs to present it as we know it.  I mean heck, we only live one life, and that life might as well be as real and veridical as possible. 

Tell the truth, I think you'll be glad you did. I am.

-Megan

Just Kidding

1. There will be days where everything is due and you have no time to get a head start on things.
2. Learning a new citation format is confusing and sometimes difficult.
3. Writing a paper is hard at 2am.
4. Jokes have a purpose.

I hate April Fool's.

Hate. It.

Just so you all know, I despise that there is a day to play jokes on innocent people. I become nearly paranoid that someone is planning something without my knowing. I despise the fact that people would even want to play a joke on me. What worst though is that as we grow older, the jokes become more than just "There's something crawling up your arm!"; they turn into something that throws your mind for a loop.

A few weeks ago, Megan told me she enjoyed April Fool's. So on Saturday, I was having lunch with her and I told her she best not be planning to pull anything on me. She smiled at me and I knew I had made a mistake - she hadn't been planning anything but now she sure was. I gave up on changing her mind after a few minutes of persistent complaining. We kept on eating and just before we were going to leave, Megan looks at me and tell me, "Nicole, I'm transferring." My stomach dropped and near-panic set in. "You're joking. You are not." Megan nodded and said, "That's why I was talking with my mom on the phone. I don't want to worry about the cost of school anymore - it's too much." A few moments later, though, long enough for the panic and sadness to really set in, she cracked a smile and told me she was completely joking. I promptly smacked her and yelled something along the lines of, "Why would you do such a thing!"

For the rest of the day and into Sunday morning, I was angry at her. Mad that she made me feel suddenly emotional. (It didn't help that she kept me in suspense of another trick Sunday morning, only to tell me she had nothing planned.) But I can't really blame Megan for anything. In fact, now that Sunday is over, I'm slightly glad it happened.

See, I don't take jokes well, especially if they are about me. I believe lies or jokes are rooted in some piece of truth, so if someone pokes fun at me, I automatically think it's true. I also don't take jokes well if they are directed towards my fears. It was crazy to see how quickly I became sad when Megan told me she was transferring. I thought of how all the things we have planned for next would not happen because she wouldn't be there.

To get to my point: don't take things so seriously. Sometimes jokes are useful to show you how much something or someone means to you. It brings up all those emotions and fears of a possible situation and it shows you just how much you want to avoid it or prevent it from happening.

So next year, I might take April Fool's a bit better...or I just might get revenge on Megan.

Peace!

-Nicole