The Unlucky Year

Happy New Year everyone! May 2013 treat you well. Or maybe I should say, may you treat 2013 well.

My uncle Rich posted this on his Facebook last night:

I don't like 'happy' anything. It's related to the word 'happen' and 'happenstance.' It has to do with what happens to you... something you cannot control. I like 'joyous' a lot better. Joy can happen in the midst of heartbreak for people who choose to set their own course, make things happen, and remain unswerving in hope while the world appears to assail them. Joy is fixed on the timeless, whereas happiness is fixed on the moment. You can either happen to life, or it can happen to you. Joyous new year.

I am beginning to understand this more. The past month has felt like the most unlucky period of my life and I have wanted to give up multiple times. Yet in the midst of the horridness of it all, I have found myself to grow in peace and understanding. Like my uncle said, happiness is fixed on the moment - it cannot keep growing and building. Although I am not particularly thankful for this past month, I do see the good in it. Relationships have grown where I didn't expect them to and I have found a strength in me and especially in those around me.

The number 13 seems to be culturally unlucky. Friday the 13th was the biggest omen in the world when I was in elementary school. 13 is a terrible number to work with in math and buildings sometimes won't even have a 13th floor. I am expecting people to be fearful of 2013. Heck, Friday September 13th may well be the worst day ever. I have always believed what you think determines your reality. I believe if I go into a situation with positive thoughts, the outcome will be better. I can handle negative results better and I can keep on going. Positive thoughts bring about positive feelings.

As I continue into this new year, I'm going to treat 2013 well. My uncle said it well when he wrote about how joy comes out of those situations in which we make things happen. Work with time, don't try to go against it. 2013 isn't trying to go against us all; time is never against us - only if we see it that way. Make things happen and create joy.

May you treat 2013 well.

Peace!

-Nicole

The Story's Conflict

1. Baking cookies is exhausting.
2. A night with family is the best kind of night.
3. Write a blog post - Megan might get angry if you don't.
4. If there is no conflict, there is no story.

I am currently sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by my family (mom, aunt Arlyce, uncle Rich, and cousin Joseph). Let me start off by saying that my uncle Rich is insanely brilliant and creative. He just got back from a script-writing conference in Hollywood. One of the main things he learned was "If a scene does not have conflict, there is no story."

My uncle, being the brilliant man he is, applied it to life. If life does not have conflict, then what is the point? Take a huge break-up. If it didn't hurt and if it didn't create some emotion, then that means there wasn't much there before.

Can you list all the fights you've had with friends? How about can you list all of the crazy things you've done in the past year? I know I can tell so many stories of fights/conflicts I've had with friends and I can tell you about the crazy antics that have happened too. Every single one of them has had a conflict involved, whether it be between myself and friends or myself vs myself.

And I've learned from each of them too. Try to remember a day where something crazy or weird or exciting didn't happen - pretty much impossible. If there is no conflict, there is no story. If there is no story, then there is no lesson. Without a lesson, then what is life? I try to learn something new every day (heck, that's why I blog). If I can't find something in my day that I can learn from, then what is the point of it?

Something can always be learned - no matter the situation. If a day seems too boring and utterly useless, create conflict. Scary, I know. But, why waste a day when posing a risky question or doing something a bit out there could create conflict and present a lesson?

Conflict also brings change. On a large scale, if a country disagrees with another, they will surely let the other know. But on a smaller scale, if something is not right in a relationship, the best thing to do is confront it and work it out. If it isn't talked about, the problem will still be there and change will never happen.

Don't be afraid of conflict. Without it, there pretty much is no life. So live, speak your mind, and learn.

Peace!

-Nicole