Accepting help

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“Nothing makes one feel so strong as a call for help.” – Pope Paul VI

Happy Friday!

Everyone seems to be getting sick. And not only are we all sick down here in the Lou, it’s test time. From chemistry to German to archaeology, professors tend to pick the same weeks and/or days to give exams. It’s actually quite remarkable.

Although I haven’t gotten sick yet (knock on wood), I wasn’t able to go to any of my classes last week. This means that my entire week this week has been devoted to getting caught up in all my classes and I know others are in the same boat. It’s not easy. It’s harder if you try to get through it on your own.

Growing up, I was always taught that you should be independent and not rely on anyone. I think this could have been a really good lesson to learn, but it got taken a little too far. Until recently, I thought that I was weak if I asked for help. I “should” be able to solve my own problems. Life doesn’t work that way.

We all have needs. Sometimes they can get a little scary and overwhelming. We can’t do everything on our own. My social psychology professor would say, “People are cultural animals; we need each other to survive.” We all need a little help sometimes, but learning to ask for help is hard and accepting that help takes strength. They're a couple of the best lessons I've ever learned.

Stay strong and have a wonderful weekend!

Bekka

Sicko

"One of the most sublime experiences we can ever have is to wake up feeling healthy after we have been sick." -Rabbi Harold Kushner

Hey, it's Megan.  Hope you had a great Monday.

Well, family weekend was great and I was glad my aunt could make it up to spend it with me.  I think we both had a good time and were able to partake in activities on and off campus.  Unfortunately, I was sick the entire time.

Nicole and I have both suffered through the plague that hits campus every few weeks or so and my body hit the wall today.  I feel okay to an extent, but my throat is shot and I've been struggling with a hacking cough.  I even took off of work tonight (at the insistence of Nicole as well as my protesting throat) so I could get my homework done, relax a bit, and get to sleep early. As of writing this, I only have 15 pages left to read!  Also, I don't work until Sunday unless I pick up a shift, so now I can but more of my body's faculties towards healing up.  I think it was probably a good decision.

See, Nicole has enough sense to take time off from class and such and rest if she's sick.  Me? Not so much. Even today, I got home after class and all I could think about was how much work I have to do and how much I actually wanted to get all of it done.  Even if I was setting aside time to feel better, I wanted to instead use that time to get homework done.  My friend, Steph, eventually forced me into bed and even tucked me in.  It pays to have friends in college.  The lesson in all of this?  I clearly need to put my health higher up on the list of priorities and not always on the back burner.  Health is important--never ever forget that.  I've seen way too many people lose it or suffer with chronic conditions to not be taking better care of myself.  But, I am learning, and I am surrounded by people who are willing to force me to take care of myself, even if that's not my highest priority at the time.

So that's where I'm at.  The next time you hear from me, I will be good as new, but also perhaps a bit poorer from having had to buy so much medicine. :P

Be happy and well, but most of all, be healthy!

-Megan

All Dogs go to Heaven

"Happiness is a warm puppy." -Charles Schulz

Greetings from Megan.  I hope your Monday was as mellow as mine.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day and this week is National Suicide Prevention Week and I had a huge post planned for tonight, until I realized while walking back to my dorm that it's also been exactly one year since I'd lost my dog.  World Suicide Prevention Day is hugely important to me and expect that to be the topic of my post next Monday, but for now, I just want to talk about my dog.

I think the value of a pet is vastly underestimated by people who have never had one. Pepper, my Miniature Schnauzer, bopped into my life two days before my 7th birthday and departed twelve days after I had arrived at college.  Undoubtedly those 12 years contained some of the roughest experiences I've ever undergone, and I cannot count the number of nights I spent crying into her neck. If she wasn't sleeping on my brother's bed, she was sleeping on the pillow next to me. She was, quite frankly, the best friend I'd ever had, and so leaving to go to school when I knew chances were good that I would never see her again was really, really tough.

I can chuckle at it now, but when I found out she had passed away I was bawling in my dorm room, only I was trying not to since I didn't want to freak out my roommate. I don't know exactly why I did, but I told Nicole as soon as I found out--we were on Facebook chat at the time. We had known each other for a grand total of three days, and she promptly asked me if I was okay and then offered me cookies.  I probably shouldn't have put her in such an awkward position.

Pets have ways of teaching us life lessons, lessons about death and what it means to take life as it comes, to love unconditionally, and to handle suffering with grace and dignity.  A wonder that they do this all without speaking a single word.  Pepper made me appreciate life so much and she got me through my most difficult days.  Of course I wish she was still with me.  Who wouldn't want that?  But she left at a time when I knew I was moving on and going to be perfectly okay.  She did her job and believe me, she did it well.  Pets, especially dogs, are just like that I guess.  They not only provide a source of unconditional love, but they give us something to love and care for. I know it sounds crazy, but I can't believe how much I love and have bonded with our baby Betta fish, Cuddles.

If you have a pet, take a moment to be affectionate.  If you have had a pet but don't right now, remember some of the fond moments. Finally, if you don't have a pet, I recommend getting one in the future.

With all my love,

Megan

Pepper

Be Kind

I'm mean. Or at least, I have been lately. I snap back at my friends and I seem to have no tolerance for professors who don't do things the way I want them. I have no idea why... maybe it's because I'm stressed or maybe it's because I have lost sight of what's good. No matter the cause, there just seems to be no good reason for me to keep on being mean.

People have asked me in recent years what was one thing my mom taught me that I still hold onto. And my answer is always the same: be kind. She always taught me to talk about people in the best light, even if you dislike them or disagree with them. The person on the other side of the story has their own story and they have their own beliefs that they believe in as fully as I do - why would I push them down with my words for being them? This is not to say I should be 'nice'. Nice is making sure everyone is happy and gets what they want. To me, nice is an easy thing to do. Nice makes it easier for me to let them have it their way and then go home and talk about how wrong they were. Being kind, on the other hand, is harder. It requires me to slow down and really think about whether these emotions are about me not getting my way or if I am honestly hurt by someone else's actions.

To amend my first statement, I've been 'nice'. I have blamed others for being someone who isn't me. It seems my roommate, my close friends, and my boyfriend have gotten the brunt of this easy-way-out-niceness.

So what am I going to do about it? I'm going to try to be aware of what's going on around me. Megan taught me a cool little statement: "I am kind, I am patient, I am loving". I am going to write it wherever I can, make sure I can see it, and try to see everyone in the best light possible. I have recently heard from multiple spiritual leaders that when someone is hurt, the victimizer is hurt just as much. It comes in more of an implicit manner, taking a toll on how one views the world and people.

This is a promise and an open apology: be kind. And I challenge you to do the same. Be kind. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, because to them, you are the other side of the story.

Peace!

-Nicole

Note: Finishing Up

As the year finishes up, I'm compiling some statistics along with some favorites of the readers...which is where I need you!

Here is what I would like to know!

1. Favorite post of each writer (Nicole, Megan, Melissa)

2. Favorite lesson

Just leave a comment and you'll see the results sometime next week.

Peace!

-Nicole

It's Raining, It's Pouring

1. Sweatshirts are perfect for chilly weather.
2. Milk is necessary.
3. It's a sad day when one runs out of Tang.
4. Don't forget rain boots.

For the past few weeks, I have been volunteering at a local elementary school in their Spanish immersion program. I was placed in a classroom of 2nd and 3rd graders and boy, has it been interesting. I think I have learned Spanish more than I have taught it.

When I got to the school this morning at 8:00am, it was just starting to storm. The teacher was trying to teach the kids some new vocabulary words, but every single one of them was distracted by the approaching storm. Then suddenly, there was a thunder clap and quite a few of the kids jumped and started jabbering on about the storm. Naturally, the teacher became frustrated and told me to help her close the blinds on the windows. Her theory was, "If they can't see it, they won't think of it." The storm raged on outside and the class day continued. I left at 10:00am, which meant I had to walk to my car in the rain. I was only wearing flats for shoes and let's just say my feet became quite wet. I made it back to my dorm, but not without being drenched with water.

Some of the people around me are going through some rough times. They are not only battling their internal demons, but there seems to be a storm raging outside of them. For me, when I'm going through situations like this, I feel nearly helpless. My mind plays a mantra of "I just can't do this" - I can't handle my own demons and deal with the storm around me at the same time. Sometimes all I need is for someone to shut the blinds to the storm, calm me down, and make me focus on the task at hand: myself.

But shutting the blinds doesn't make the storm disappear - it only masks it for a while so you can figure things out in yourself before running out into the storm. And if you were to ignore the outside forever, how would you know if the storm has passed and it's sunny again? How will you know if the storm did any damage and needs repair? While closing the blinds to the storm may help for a while, it is only temporary.

And when you do run out into the storm, which I highly recommend, wear rain boots. Sure, we can wait until the storm passes, but why wait when you can move forward, experience new things, learn from the rain, and have the dirt be washed off by it (ever notice how when you go through tough times, the little petty things don't seem to matter after a period of time?).

Sometimes the rain does come, but there's always a rainbow, something to be learned.

Peace!

-Nicole

Habits and Patterns

The GOP race is heating up. If you haven't seen Nicole's commentary on politics, go here: http://dormroom718.blogspot.com/2011/12/whats-going-on.html

1. I am a creature of habit and pattern.
2. You don't have to drive down memory lane alone.
3. Find a new perspective.
4. Things are hot when you microwave them too.

Megan here, Happy New Year! and happy Wednesday!

Nicole left this morning and arrived safely home after a very laid back, but very fun five days here in St. Cloud. It was a blast in general, and I hope I gave her a decent taste of my world.

If there's one thing I've learned over the last few days it's that I am definitely a creature ruled by habits and patterns. It's just a lot of little things, like what roads I take, how I eat a Kit Kat bar, and apparently how I make popovers and chop potatoes... Like I said, it's a bunch of little things. However, maybe it's also a bunch of big things, like how I appraise situations, how I perceive threats, and how I respond to people.

Sometimes we stick to what we know: what's familiar and comfortable. The problem with this is that it can be easy to lapse into auto-pilot and become desensitized to everything we encounter on a regular basis. We forget to put ourselves in new situations and see things in a new light which is how we learn and well, how we live a fuller, more engaged life. So, in an effort to change this, I did what anyone would do. I did something differently. I made myself a cup of black coffee and put on some classical music--something I don't normally do. After that, I figured I had changed things up enough and made myself my usual cup of tea and turned on a Skillet playlist :P I'm taking baby steps! For the record, sometimes it's nice to drink something strong and bitter.

I think it's easy to let ourselves fall into ruts with various aspects of life, whether that's creatively, with relationships, with jobs... I mean, what is a rut? It's a path that has been traveled so much and so often that it forms a groove that can be kind of hard to get out of. In other words, when you find yourself in a rut, it's time to do something differently because the usual method won't work. Go find a new perspective, try something new, challenge yourself!

I'm not a fan of New Years' Resolutions, but I am a fan of trying out new things. And I suppose it's a good time to start since we're only four days into 2012. It's a fresh start whether or not we A. like it and B. choose to see it that way. Little things make a difference, and consciously throwing a little variety into each day might help ease that rutty feeling. It's quite easy to just sit around in such a rut, especially during winter when going into hibernation mode is quite appealing. (I have spent way too much time in bed lately.) I'm hoping I can apply this to my creativity... hope it works! Anyways, switch things up sometimes. It might lead to positive outcomes.

I leave you with this link to a song by Skillet... 'cause I like it, and I hope it motivates you to seize the moment. May your new year have more hugs than last year.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kQ6prkSRFs

-Megan

The Story's Conflict

1. Baking cookies is exhausting.
2. A night with family is the best kind of night.
3. Write a blog post - Megan might get angry if you don't.
4. If there is no conflict, there is no story.

I am currently sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by my family (mom, aunt Arlyce, uncle Rich, and cousin Joseph). Let me start off by saying that my uncle Rich is insanely brilliant and creative. He just got back from a script-writing conference in Hollywood. One of the main things he learned was "If a scene does not have conflict, there is no story."

My uncle, being the brilliant man he is, applied it to life. If life does not have conflict, then what is the point? Take a huge break-up. If it didn't hurt and if it didn't create some emotion, then that means there wasn't much there before.

Can you list all the fights you've had with friends? How about can you list all of the crazy things you've done in the past year? I know I can tell so many stories of fights/conflicts I've had with friends and I can tell you about the crazy antics that have happened too. Every single one of them has had a conflict involved, whether it be between myself and friends or myself vs myself.

And I've learned from each of them too. Try to remember a day where something crazy or weird or exciting didn't happen - pretty much impossible. If there is no conflict, there is no story. If there is no story, then there is no lesson. Without a lesson, then what is life? I try to learn something new every day (heck, that's why I blog). If I can't find something in my day that I can learn from, then what is the point of it?

Something can always be learned - no matter the situation. If a day seems too boring and utterly useless, create conflict. Scary, I know. But, why waste a day when posing a risky question or doing something a bit out there could create conflict and present a lesson?

Conflict also brings change. On a large scale, if a country disagrees with another, they will surely let the other know. But on a smaller scale, if something is not right in a relationship, the best thing to do is confront it and work it out. If it isn't talked about, the problem will still be there and change will never happen.

Don't be afraid of conflict. Without it, there pretty much is no life. So live, speak your mind, and learn.

Peace!

-Nicole

Watch Your Step

1. Have faith in your ability to recall information.
2. Technology is stressful. It's okay to disconnect.
3. 16 hours of sleep in 3 days = bad outcomes.
4. Trust your feet.

Hey, it's Megan. I won't wish you a happy Wednesday, since it's finals week for us... but I hope you're surviving at least.

So I have been completely disconnected from all social networks ever since Monday morning, courtesy of Nicole changing my passwords per my request. I am connected via email and text messaging and that's pretty much it. :P It's different, but I am enjoying not being so accessible. It's a lot less stress on me, especially with all my thought and effort focused on finals. The only reason I can rationalize being here and typing this is because I got out of a final sooner than I expected to. Oh, and I guess Melissa and I might grab lunch together :) It's okay, I have higher hopes for tomorrow's finals.

I worked at a bowling alley for much of my senior year and the summer before college. It was super icy this morning, and while I was walking on the iced over cobblestones on my way to DS, it just brought me back. I was always horrible at walking on the lanes--there was no real process to it, you just had to teach yourself how to do it without falling. My coworkers told me the only way to really be able to do it well and with a decent amount of speed was to walk confidently and trust in your feet.

Following my usual blog pattern, I think this makes a great metaphor for life. Life isn't always easy or solid, and sometimes it's downright slippery. Finals are tough to navigate, especially when you don't know what to study or for how long... or how much it will impact you. Sometimes everything feels unstable or uncertain, but even though that may be the case, it doesn't mean you'll fall, or fail for that matter. It's okay to trust in your step and trust in your feet, because when you do that, there's less freaking out and compensating. My friend and coworker always told me that we overcompensate when we're on a slippery surface which makes us even more likely to fall.

If you're stressed and freaking out over anything, whether that be an exam, a presentation, a date, or even going home for winter break, it's important to take a deep breath, reset yourself, and walk--all while trusting in your step. Well, I tried to remember what my coworkers said and I didn't slip this morning, so I guess that means I must be doing ok.

Good luck on the rest of the week, be well and stay safe.

-Megan

Empathetic Tendencies

1. Write when inspired, even if that's all over the back of the article you're discussing.
2. Stretch your mind, even if it hurts.
3. Finding out your final paper is due two days later than you thought is a good feeling.
4. As finals get closer, look for more people wearing glasses and exhibiting jittery behavior.

It's Wednesday. It's Megan.

Sometimes (but not all the time) people turn to me with issues they're facing. Sometimes I jump the gun and run around looking for my cape so I can fly to the rescue, and other times I just try to make sure I'm around if they need me. Someone called me an enabler the other day which really, really, really threw me for a loop. The absolute last thing I'd ever want is for how I naturally react to certain situations to do more harm than good. I mean, I think I try to work towards resolving the issue and not just pacifying the outcome... I think.

I started thinking, what am I enabling? What are we all enabling when we listen to or try to help others make it through their problems? Of course it depends on the situation, but from certain Psychological perspectives, disclosing painful secrets, allowing the release of emotions, and letting yourself be open and honest with someone you trust are all positive behaviors associated with better health outcomes. That's what we enable people to do when we make ourselves available to listen.

I'm discussing empathy in my inquiry class, and as humans, our capacity for empathy serves the evolutionary purpose of creating a deep connection between us. Our brains are even wired for empathy with "mirror" neurons: for example, if you see a spider on someone's arm, your same neurons will fire as if to tell you there is a spider on your own arm.

We experience empathy because our fates are intricately intertwined. It is how we survive both as individuals and as a species. We have this need to feel connected and share experiences. Along with this conscious desire to share experiences, we also experience an unconscious ability to share in, and try to ease, someone else's suffering because we know ourselves what it's like to suffer. Humans feel the need to make life more tolerable and livable for someone else, sometimes because it's the right and compassionate thing to do, but also because we know we would want someone else to do it for us. Sometimes we acknowledge someone else's suffering in the hopes that they'll acknowledge ours--and everyone suffers in some way... at least according to the Four Noble Truths found in Buddhist teachings.

Empathy arguably arises from the acknowledgement of our own mortality. We recognize we don't have unlimited time, and so seeing or knowing that someone else is in pain is painful to us. There is an automatic desire to take on and relieve someone of that suffering. My roommate told me I have a savior complex. Well, so be it. If what I do gets people somewhere, then so be it. Empathy, luckily for us, is not confined to suffering. We have the ability to share in and experience the success, happiness, and sometimes sheer giddiness of others. Like I said, our fate and experiences are connected more than one would think.

We may all be facing our own demons, and we may all need to conquer our own demons, but that doesn't mean we can't fight them together. If you have my back, I have yours.

I leave you with a poem by John Donne as well as a link to the video that inspired much of this post.

Be well and love deeply,

-Megan

No Man is an Island

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as a manor of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.


The Empathetic Civilisation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7AWnfFRc7g

Just Be

1. Secret Santa gift exchanges are exciting.
2. The effects of five-hour energy drinks are funny, especially if you are watching it happen to someone else.
3. Don't skip breakfast...not a good thing.
4. Just let yourself be.

Talking feels like an effort today. It is like I feel like I have nothing to say to people and everything I would say would be trivial, self-centered, and tedious. I know that whatever I say will be a bit hurtful (which I don't want to happen). All I want to do is stop talking and just ignore my own thoughts. I'm not quite sure why I'm in this mood; it just is. I am normally the bubbly, weird, and energetic person who can carry a conversation fairly well, but today, not so much.

Sometimes we just need a day to just be - to listen to conversations, watch interactions, and let the world spin around you. I think we talk too much. Over the past few months, I have been finding my voice. I am now more vocal in social situations and I'm not as afraid to make a fool of myself. But sometimes it goes a bit more beyond that and becomes a "listen to me!" thing, which I have never really been a fan of. There are times when we should use our voice - to speak out on injustice or to bring new ideas to the table. But days like today make me realize that there are other ways to speak out: silence.

In theatre, I've always been taught that silence speaks more than actions and words. When I competed in speech, I was always praised for my use of pauses. It gave the audience time to react to what my character was saying and anticipate what was coming next. So many ideas are thrown around and no time is given to ponder them and wonder what is next.

I also think that we lose touch with each other - in the emotional and physical sense. We get so caught up in the daily adventures that we don't allow ourselves to just be together. Emotions are easy to sense in each other when you sit in silence. Human contact is an amazing thing too. I love having physical touch - innocent and loving. Even simply sitting close to each other so that you can feel their warmth and pulse or even holding hands. To know that they are there and living and breathing just like you is one of the greatest comforts.

So maybe the weird mood I'm in right now is a good thing, provided that I use my time to just listen, watch, and feel another's pulse.

Just allow yourself to be in people's presence.

Peace!

-Nicole

Better Days

1. Conserve dining dollars so you can pig out on comfort food during the last two weeks
2. My laptop (now known as Dorky) does not have the battery capacity to handle both a Spanish film and a Psych lecture.
3. Appreciate little moments, like when someone starts playing a flute in DS
4. It's nice to receive two letters in one day.
5. Find things to look forward to. (I'm looking forward to the Christmas concert)

Hey, It's Megan. Happy Wednesday.

It is the first week back on campus and we've all been hurled into hyper speed with finals, projects, and papers. It's definitely rough and stressful going, but all the Christmas decorations are popping up over night and they're fun to see.

All the stress and projects and things have left us a little bit at a loss. There's no time to sit and simply exist anymore. On Friday I'm reading Life Without Principle by Thoreau, and in it he criticizes being busy all the time because it doesn't allow one time to reflect or work on reaching a deeper level of personal depth. It's true though! When we have open time to just exist, we usually spend it together and talk or do things that contribute to our own depth of existence. We take that time to learn about ourselves and one another, but we are still learning, and it is still hugely important. Now, we don't have much time to do that at all... and it's easy to lose oneself in the mess.

Unfortunately, we can't avoid the stress of everything. And it's almost certain to get worse before it gets better, so here is some of my advice for getting through all the work.
1. Eat well
2. If listening to music, listen to instrumentals to not get distracted (Search "Study music" on Youtube)
3. Take short study breaks
4. Plunge

Let me explain plunge. Plunging is when you completely throw yourself into what you're doing. Find some passion and use it to complete your current project. You have to lose track of time and stop focusing on how big of a pain it is and just dive right into it. I find that If I can get into the zone, I'm more efficient and end up with a better finished product. Think of it as swimming under water. I don't know about you, but I swim faster under water than on the surface. Less splashing and flailing, and overall chaos I think. So take the plunge (and it's perfectly okay to wear floaties.)

It may not seem like it, but better days are ahead. It may seem like the chaos and stress will never end, but it will. You just have to maintain your sanity, hunker down, and push through it. Better days will come, and it'll be okay to sit and talk for a few hours, or have a relaxing lunch, or just goof off. So find something to motivate you to get all the work done, remember your floaties so you won't drown when you take a small study break, and smile. It's going to be okay. It is definitely going to get better.

I leave you with a link to this song... 'cause I like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-kHleNYIDc&ob=av2e

And here's an acoustic guitar playlist I always find helpful for studying:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQlyHbu0zz4&list=PL7C739E2E2D7E861C&feature=plpp_play_all

-Megan

She's a rebel

1. Sleeping in is great.
2. It's okay to give yourself time to think.
3. It's a small world.
4. "Family" includes a lot more than just blood relatives.
5. Pudgy little squirrels are ADORABLE!

Heeey, its Megan. Happy Wednesday! And Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Oh, and the title comes from a Green Day song, in case you were wondering. I just arrived at home around 20 minutes ago. Where is home you ask? Home for me is Central Minnesota, about an hour north of the Twin Cities.

So here I am, sitting in my room, contemplating my return and also how my family will react to my streak of blue hair... The thing is that doing anything remotely associated with rebellious behavior is completely uncharacteristic of me. I thought about doing something a little bit crazy, but never plucked up the courage to actually do it. I tend to be spontaneous only under carefully controlled conditions, and so this is a little weird for me. Am I turning into a rebel?

Well... maybe. The thing is that society expects college students to rebel and do some crazy stuff. Colleges put into place a whole number of policies aimed at controlling the chaos that is a population of young adults. I wonder though, what is the real cause for stereotypical college behaviors? Do we "rebel" because we're at a crucial junction in life? Or is it really because we're faced with societal expectations that we're supposed to rebel? It's all over in the media and movies and such: how a college student is supposed to act.

I guess I am just worried that my family will take this little deviation from the social norm and peg me as the new family rebel. Maybe I am to an extent, but the changes in my appearance are nothing compared to the changes everywhere else. I am turning into a happier, funnier, more thoughtful, more open, better person, all thanks to the craziness that is college. If that's a successful shot at rebelling from the social norm then throw me in the same league as James Dean because it's where I want to be.

I pose a challenge to you. Yes you, the one reading this right now. It's okay to rebel. I encourage it. HOWEVER, you ought to find something worth rebelling over. Something that keeps you up at night or gives you those knots in the pit of your stomach. Find your cause, your purpose in life...even if it doesn't coincide with what society thinks you ought to do. I mean, what's a rebel without their cause? (Do I score points for another James Dean reference?) If you don't like how society handles a certain issue, then show how to handle it better. If you don't like what society values, then be an example of what ought to be held as important.

Being unique and different is challenging, and it's hard to stand up for what you really believe in, but I know you can do it. Be strong. You got this.

-Megan

Down to the Wire

1. If you break into a coughing fit, people will stare.
2. Breathe... slowly, or else you'll have another coughing fit.
3. Phone calls are nice sometimes.
4. Have faith things will work out.

Hey, it's Megan. Is it Wednesday? It doesn't feel like Wednesday.

Holy buckets has it been a stressful week so far. Grease opens tomorrow, and while neither Melissa nor I have been involved, Nicole is logging some serious hours. It's funny, I kind of want to find an association between level of stress, lack of time, and propensity to blog... On top of that, we all have assignments or papers due, aaaand it's registration week which means we're all stressing over our adviser meetings and deciding what classes to take.

I myself have been incredibly ill over the past three days. I think I caught the plague. Don't listen to Nicole or Melissa--I won't cough up a lung, nor do I intend to die. I just have a racking cough and some congestion, that's all. I've been chugging DayQuil as well as tea and popping cough drops as well as vitamins. Just give me another day or so and I'm sure I'll be good as new.

It seems like everything is suddenly hurling into hyper speed and coming down to the wire. I have to be up around 6 tomorrow to register for my classes and I'm entirely set on taking this one history class. The problem is it appears to be full. Sad right? Naturally, I emailed the professor and am anxiously awaiting a reply that says I've been granted an override, but I'm still stressing about the possibility that I won't get the email in time and thus not be able to take this class--a huge bummer since I've been looking forward to diving into my history major.

The trick is to remain positive and have some faith that it will all be okay in the end. This situation has loads of possible outcomes. I might get the override and be able to take an epic class, or I might have to take something else. If I don't get in, I still have an epic psychology class and philosophy class I will hopefully get into. Oh, and did I mention I'm going to try to take Social Dance? Yep, look out world! Megan's going to try to learn how to dance. Even if things are really stressful and coming down to the wire, it's going to be okay. That's what the weekends are for, relieving stress, and we're already making plans...

Take care, be well. Don't get sick like me.
-Megan

Spontaneous Combustion

1. Roller derbies are amazing.
2. Sleeping-in is glorious.
3. Don't watch scary shows alone.
4. Be spontaneous.

What has my life come to? First off, last weekend I stayed up until 6:30am talking. Then this weekend I play a game of sardines (sort of like hide and go seek) at 11:30pm on my whole college campus. After that, I had a tea party in someones room then watched She's the Man. Then today, I decided that Megan, Melissa, and I should go to the FM Roller Derby. The thing is that all of these things were spur of the moment. None of it was thought through, nor would I have ever thought of doing any of it.

I never thought of myself as a spontaneous person. Sure, I was crazy, but never spontaneous. I thought everything through and I always followed the rules. I don't know if this sudden change is because I think faster or there aren't many rules to follow here, but I now definitely am the spontaneous person. Last night, when trying to find people to play sardines with us, Megan asked one of the girls on my floor and she said, "You know, I think I should stay here and get some work done. I know what you do. I read your blog." Megan promptly says to me, "We have a reputation!" I've had some weird reputations in the past; this by far is the weirdest. And probably the one I am most proud of.

I am re-learning who I am right now. Everything I do shocks me to a small degree. But somehow all that I do fits in with who I am, or at least I think I might be making room for it in my personality. Before, I couldn't even do anything that wasn't planned and nothing that was out of my 'normalcy'. I always had confidence, but I never knew how much I could have. Over the past few months, my confidence has spontaneously combusted; it's grown exponentially. A ton of stuff has helped, but I do know something has helped: spontaneity.

Life is a bit more exciting when spontaneity is involved. Sure, life is good when it has a consistent routine to it, but not much can be learned from it. So what if spontaneity is part of the routine? Make it a part of your daily life. And maybe I will never know who I am. But I figure I will never fully know who I am. Who I am is a process - not a set thing. My life is constantly changing, so why should I expect who I am to not change?

Bring a bit of spontaneity into your life. It may bring a few interesting things into your life. Heck, you might even spontaneously combust.

Peace!

-Nicole

What's in a Name?

1. Laughing is more fun in a library.
2. Filming scenes in one take feels very good.
3. Psychology will sometimes freak you out.
4. Just because it's sunny doesn't mean it's warm.
5. Mousepads don't work with gloves on.

Hey, Megan here. Happy Wednesday!

Let’s dive right in shall we? Names are a really important part of a person’s self. I mean you typically think about yourself when you hear your own name right? Throughout history people have attempted to break down and alter someone’s identity and self-concept by changing or simply taking away their name. The slave trade, the Native Americans, and more recently, the story of David Pelzer, are all good examples where names were either changed or stripped in order to break or better control a person.

Being in a place where no one calls you by your nickname is weird. It’s like people suddenly refer to me as Megan, and I’m obligated to respond because here they’re actually talking to me instead of the Megan behind me. No one refers to me by the name I had for approximately 6 years—I still use it to refer to myself sometimes out of habit or nostalgia, but still…it’s weird!

I started to hate that name after a while. It felt like a giant, exaggerated, misrepresentation of me that could only really exist in some work of fiction. Yes, I know it was merely a nickname, but there were some people who didn’t even know what my real first name was. Over time, my nickname became associated with everything I hated about not only middle school, but high school as well. It represented everything I hated about myself. I finally started to just accept it when I realized it wouldn’t go away.

So now that I’m Megan here at college, I feel like I have my identity back. My internal self feels more similar to what people see—the psychologist Carl Rogers calls this congruence. Well, I am now more congruent, and happier because of it. I don’t regret that nickname so much, and sometimes I miss hearing it being screamed down a hallway, but I am Megan. Hear me roar!

My point is that you ultimately own and command your identity. Don’t let anyone else put you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or disconnected between who you know you are and who others perceive you to be. Even more so, don’t play along. Be congruent—it’s a good thing.

Can anyone else relate?

Since one of my rings today says “Love life, Be brave.” I leave you with that. Love life and be brave. You got this.

-Megan

Going Crazy

1. Laundry - it might be good to do that.
2. Inspiration can be found in the weirdest places.
3. Sometimes staring at the ceiling is a good thing.
4. Be a bit crazy.

Megan and I have a saying: "Let's do it." whenever a crazy idea comes up. I don't particularly know how it started, but I do know we say it quite often. We now have started a list of crazy and not-so-crazy things to try. The list now includes things like getting a tattoo, dying our hair random colors, chasing squirrels for an afternoon, and moving to New York and becoming starving artists. Most of the things on our list are random and don't really make sense. But maybe the list isn't an that crazy or ridiculous idea. Maybe we all should have a list of crazy things to do.

We all have some sort of bucket list. I know for me I have shortened my Bucket List because most of the things on it were unattainable. My dream list became my realistic list. So what's the point of having a 'Bucket List' if nothing on it is slightly ridiculous? Why have I taken out the dreaming in my life? I think it is because I am afraid of failure (to an extent). I don't want to disappoint myself nor do I want others to think I didn't do what I set out to do.

But that's not true. No one will think I failed if I didn't become a Broadway star. No one will think my life was pointless because I didn't publish a book. Nor should I think my life is a failure just because I didn't do those things. My life is anything but a failure. Maybe I won't see the effects of my actions, but the ripples will be seen for quite some time. But I also don't want to settle for being boring. I want to be the big dreamer who everyone thinks is a bit off-kilter. I want to look at my Bucket List and think, "Hey. Let's do it!"with no expectation I will finish or succeed. The point of a Bucket List is to put a bit of spice into life.

And life is about living in the moment, enjoying it, and making a difference. So, let's do it. Let's live.

Peace!

-Nicole

Back to Basics

1. Handing in a paper feels really good.
2. Doing laundry is a very good thing.
3. Perks of Being a Wallflower is a fantastic book.
4. Sometimes you have to go back to the basics to understand the bigger concept.

Today I printed off an assignment for my writing class. It was an academic article entitled "What Is a Paragraph?" I wasn't sure if I should be slightly offended or simply intrigued. I thought I should be offended because I am 18 and I know what a paragraph is and dang it, I know how to write. But then I thought I should be intrigued because maybe I do need to know what a paragraph is. Maybe I need to go back to the basics.

The past few weeks has been stuffed full of information: first orientation, then the first few days of class that freaked some of us out, and now the first papers and exams. Most of the time, I don't know what to do with all this information. So, the information is stored in the back of my brain or cast to the side.

And the information is not simple. The concepts are getting more complicated and more in-depth than ever before. We don't review past information; we just pick off right where we should have left off. Oftentimes, without realizing it, I am wishing to go back to the basics.

I am currently taking a class on Buddhism and mindfulness. The main concept we are learning about is simplicity and not thinking... basically, going back to the basics. There, we re-learn the basis for everything: how to treat people, how to care for the planet, and even what a paragraph is. We often complicate our minds with difficult concepts, which are fantastic and sometimes they change the world we live in. But that's just it: we complicate it. If we get back to the basics, we understand why we started in the first place. And if we don't understand that, then why are we doing it?

So maybe I should be intrigued on what a paragraph is...

Peace!

-Nicole

PS I just wrote a few paragraphs right there!

Change

1. Being sick sucks.
2. Home is the best place to be sick.
3. Personality tests are interesting.
4. Change is interesting to watch.

Sorry for taking so long to post. It was family weekend the past few days and then I became very sick. I ended up going home last night because I didn't even want to think about trying to get out of my loft bed if I needed something. Plus my bed at home is very comfortable.

Last night, when I got home, I couldn't help but think, "This is weird." I have become very accustomed to living at school that going home was very odd. My room is stripped bare of most of its personality because all of it is in my dorm. I had a bag of my clothes and my computer with me. It was like staying in a guest bedroom at a distant family member's house. But it is still my room. Everything in my room has a memory or a reason behind it. My books and dolls are still on the shelf. It is my room, but not really my room.

College is a weird period in anyone's life. I have heard many people talk about how college life has made them feel they don't have a true home. But now I understand. I still have a home, but my life is here at college. It's just a new way of thinking about things; it's not bad, just... different. It's change.

When I got back to school at about five today, Megan gave me a personality quiz to take. 300 questions. After a half hour of answering all those questions, my results came. To my surprise, I came up as an extrovert. When I was younger, I was the polar opposite. I was the quite girl who sat in on my mom's conversations at church. I rarely made my voice heard and rarely was I the center of attention. But now, that's different. I know I have changed, but for something outside myself and my mom to tell me that, it's weird.

I feel like my transition to college and to my extrovert self was like watching a movie of sorts. I am still slightly confused on how I got here, but I'm enjoying it. It's just weird to watch myself change; even weirder to have it happen. Change is quite the adventure.

Peace!

-Nicole

Llama Llama Drama Llama

Megan here. Today's Lessons:
1. Listen to your body. There are some things the mother of all first aid kits won't be able to fix.
2. Sleep is good.
3. Talking is good.
4. Don't ask for life to be perfect. Ask for life to be manageable.

Unfortunately, I'm going to tell it the way it is tonight. College is a wonderful opportunity for a new beginning--it truly is, and in some ways it succeeds with flying colors. One has the ability to start fresh and choose who they know, what they say, and when they say it. It is a bit of a rude awakening then to be abruptly pulled back into one's previous life chapters.

The truth is that no matter where you go, or how far away, you cannot escape everything you might have wanted to. Certain friendships will end while you're away, drama will erupt and cover everything in a nasty goo--and if you can't smell it on your own, someone will kindly shove it in your face--and people will ask you to come to the rescue, even when you don't have the ability. It's stressful to be chomping at the bit to get away, only to be held back by the needs of other people. Don't fret, just be prepared. My disappointment is only a reflection of my own naivety.

It is easy to jump into the role of being a hero. Everyone wants to save the day and fly to everyone's rescue, and I'm not saying you shouldn't be that amazing friend that says what needs to be said when everyone else doesn't have the guts to say it, but I am saying that it is perfectly okay to recognize your own limits. Don't burn yourself out at the precise moment when you're meant to add fuel to your fire. You can't always be the hero.

All of this being said, it's still important to remember where you've come from. Maintain friendships that need maintaining. Contact those people who've made positive contributions to your life. Recognize that who you are is not only a product of your success, but of others' successes, and unfortunately, their failures as well. Take all the lessons you've learned and use them to your advantage. Take negative experiences and use them to create positive ones. Take heart in knowing that you have the power and strength to rise above whatever obstacles are placed in front of you. That's the beauty of it all. Walls, no matter how high, can always be overcome.

Jeeze, I'm tired of sounding like a rambling fortune cookie. Be safe, be bold, be beautiful, and be confident that things will work themselves out.

-Megan