Disconnected

I rode a horse for the first time on Saturday and I took a total of three photos. (Did I mention it was on a beach?) I didn’t take that many photos partly because I was afraid of dropping my phone and directing my horse where I didn’t want it to go, but mostly, it was because I didn’t feel it necessary to message anyone or send anyone a photo. Everyone I would want to message was with me or I knew wouldn’t get the message until much later, so, I just save the few photos I took and kept on riding.

I never thought of myself as technology addicted or even remotely close to it. I had gone on so many trips where a cell phone wasn’t permitted and I had done fine. Once I got here, though, I discovered just how connected I am. Granted, the first few weeks here were rough and did require communicating with people back home. But, even though I was more comfortable weeks later, my level of communication stayed the same. I soon discovered how little I was experiencing when my phone was in my hand at all times. I was constantly check my BlackBerry for messages from home, from friends here in Spain, for anything.

I told myself when I was on the plane here that I would come back with so many stories. The first few weeks in, though, I felt like I had absolutely none. I was always jealous of those people who could tell story after story and never run out. I have discovered that it isn’t because they live such an extravagant, crazy life (well, maybe just a little); it is because they live in the moment and no one, except for the people who were present, knows what comes next. No one saw the live-feed of what was happening on Facebook, no one got text message after text message of what was being said and thought. The story is new, except for the storyteller. That’s why it’s so exciting - because everyone anticipates the next part and the storyteller is often telling it for the first time.

Maybe it took adjusting to Spanish time, where no time is set in stone and plans are made in the moment, or maybe it was forcing myself to put my phone away and not allowing myself to check it every few minutes, but let me tell you, I have so many stories to tell now that I’ve disconnected  a bit.

Peace!

-Nicole

Photo #1

Photo #2 (turns out they were pretty much the same)

Photo #3: My horse Andalus

Disconnections

1. Bubble wrap is a great stress reliever, plus it's cheap entertainment!
2. Swing dancing is pretty epic.
3. Relax, it's not going to be that bad.
4. Sometimes it's okay to disconnect.

Megan here, and woah, you guys get two posts in two days, AND they're connected.  Lucky!  I hope you're having a good week and enjoying the weather because I am.

So Nicole's last post talks about fostering new connections with people.  I'm taking the opposite approach and talking about my new found state of technological disconnection.  Here's the deal... I broke my laptop on Friday.  Yes, I broke Dorky.  On Monday night, I wrapped him up all nice and tight in bubble wrap (I bought extra for the heck of it) and shipped him off to Texas for repairs.  All in all, I'll spend about 15-20 days without him.  It's been one expensive lesson, but also one heck of an adventure spent navigating online tech support. :P

Since I still have about two papers due a week, I've been spending a lot of time in labs and whatnot. Believe me, it's time management on a whole new level. Before, I knew I could start a paper around 11pm because theoretically, I could work on it until 3 am or later if I needed to--I rarely chose that option, but I knew it was there.  Now I'm constrained to facility hours, limited space, and general inconvenience.  I'm starting to feel a little disconnected--little access to Facebook or other social networks, limited email access, and I just feel bad that I have friends who want to or need to talk to me and I'm not there since I know how awful that feeling is.

About a week ago, one of my Facebook friends made an event that asked people to take a day off of Facebook--slight irony there, but people supported the idea.  I guess I'm participating in a way, even though I didn't intend to.  You know, it's funny how even though I'm experiencing a little bit of technological disconnect, I'm enjoying certain aspects of it.  Yesterday I plugged my phone into a computer to charge and instead the computer completely drained the battery.  I ended up leaving the phone to charge in my room and headed off to class.  I spent 4 hours being completely anonymous and unreachable.  It was liberating in a way and I'm considering doing it more often.

Even though I miss my laptop, it's okay to be disconnected and take time to yourself once in a while--not only from technology, but also from other things, even people.  I think we wrap ourselves up in notions of how much we want to avoid certain situations that the dread almost becomes worse than the situation itself, but once you're forced to go through it--you just do it and make it work, and in the end you might actually end up enjoying a different pattern or pace of life.  Maybe I'm even feeling a little too connected lately, stretched a little too thin, and so I'm actually just looking forward to doing homework tonight, drinking some tea, reading some poetry, and falling asleep at a reasonable time. 

So I hope you have a good week and can take a few moments to yourself.  It's okay to disconnect and find some solitude, whether that involves taking a break from technology or even friends, just as long as you connect back up and even foster new connections--just like Nicole said.

-Megan

Energy

1. Chocolate cupcakes are a great pick-me-up.
2. Smash is a great TV show, although it does have some faults.
3. Doing simple math in Spanish is quite hard.
4. Renew your energy.

Well hello there! Sorry for the long hiatus - it was spring break for us last week and this week is "hell week" for the Vagina Monologues (we open tomorrow!), so things have been busy. Life is pretty much back to normal, which is always good.

But to be frank, the weeks leading up to spring break weren't the greatest; it felt like everyone was falling apart and there was nothing I or anyone could do. Energy levels were really low and what was there was very negative. I hated to say it, but I just wanted to get away from everyone. I didn't want to leave campus because I loved the people and the culture of it all, but I couldn't stand the negative energy.

Then spring break came. I ended up spending a few days with my sister and brand-new niece (who, by the way, is my goddaughter). I was hesitant to go because I was so exhausted physically and emotionally. But it was what I needed. What I wanted was to spend a whole week alone in my house, watching movies and doing nothing. But I needed was to be somewhere with someone who loved me, but didn't care about what was going on. I needed to be swept up into a different energy. Being around a 1 week old baby and a 2 year old - one can't particularly think about themselves. It was what I needed and I am so glad I went. (I did end up spending some time alone and some time with friends from high school.)

Presley and I

Each of us influences the energy around us. The more positive people, there are more positive thoughts and ideas - positivity breeds positivity and negativity breeds negativity. Typically, when I felt like I was in a negative situation, I would leave. But because I am so connected with my friends here on campus, I couldn't do that - it would hurt more than help. I needed to 'reset' my energy, bring it back to a neutral level, one that was stable and easy.

Sometimes, we need to get away, we need to be swept up into a different energy. Sometimes we need to stop focusing on ourselves. Sometimes we need to stop trying to fix ourselves because at some point, it loses its effectiveness. And when you do come back to your world, come with an open mind and heart. Connect with friends in different ways and on deeper levels.

Sometimes, we just need to fix the fuse and flip the switch.

Peace!

-Nicole

Trust In Life

1. Vanilla tea is wonderful at 8am, especially if it is caffeinated.
2. Re-discover old favorite songs.
3. A class in all Spanish (or any second language) is slightly terrifying.
4. Trust in life.

Yesterday was the first day of classes and to tell the truth, it was rough for me. I loved my classes (psychology and Spanish), but something got to me and I had an anxiety attack. Because of the type of anxiety I have (social anxiety), I tend to shut everyone out. Only when does someone directly ask me if I am having issues with anxiety do I tell them; other than that, I shut down. Anxiety attacks also bring a huge feeling of dread and utter panic.

While anxiety attacks are on the far end of the worry scale, I think everyone has these tendencies at times. Life seems to get to be too much for us to handle - we have a paper due, a test, and a huge audition on one day. It feels like too much and we shut down. It feels like we are all alone and no one needs to experience it with us.

Last night taught me something: trust in what life has to offer - including people. I know I have made friends who will stick with me no matter what, but I forgot it and allowed my anxiety to take control and whisper lies. Life wants to be kind to you and I fully believe that. Life sucks at times, but you have to allow good things to happen to you and for me, sometimes those good things are happening, but I don't see it, or I don't want to see it.

There is so much good in life. Everything is beautiful, even if it is a mess. Don't allow yourself to shut down during times of trouble - allow people to catch you and look for the beauty - even if the only beauty you see is a tear falling on someone's face or a snowflake caught on your eyelash.

Life is beautiful. Trust it.

Peace!

-Nicole

Watch Your Step

1. Have faith in your ability to recall information.
2. Technology is stressful. It's okay to disconnect.
3. 16 hours of sleep in 3 days = bad outcomes.
4. Trust your feet.

Hey, it's Megan. I won't wish you a happy Wednesday, since it's finals week for us... but I hope you're surviving at least.

So I have been completely disconnected from all social networks ever since Monday morning, courtesy of Nicole changing my passwords per my request. I am connected via email and text messaging and that's pretty much it. :P It's different, but I am enjoying not being so accessible. It's a lot less stress on me, especially with all my thought and effort focused on finals. The only reason I can rationalize being here and typing this is because I got out of a final sooner than I expected to. Oh, and I guess Melissa and I might grab lunch together :) It's okay, I have higher hopes for tomorrow's finals.

I worked at a bowling alley for much of my senior year and the summer before college. It was super icy this morning, and while I was walking on the iced over cobblestones on my way to DS, it just brought me back. I was always horrible at walking on the lanes--there was no real process to it, you just had to teach yourself how to do it without falling. My coworkers told me the only way to really be able to do it well and with a decent amount of speed was to walk confidently and trust in your feet.

Following my usual blog pattern, I think this makes a great metaphor for life. Life isn't always easy or solid, and sometimes it's downright slippery. Finals are tough to navigate, especially when you don't know what to study or for how long... or how much it will impact you. Sometimes everything feels unstable or uncertain, but even though that may be the case, it doesn't mean you'll fall, or fail for that matter. It's okay to trust in your step and trust in your feet, because when you do that, there's less freaking out and compensating. My friend and coworker always told me that we overcompensate when we're on a slippery surface which makes us even more likely to fall.

If you're stressed and freaking out over anything, whether that be an exam, a presentation, a date, or even going home for winter break, it's important to take a deep breath, reset yourself, and walk--all while trusting in your step. Well, I tried to remember what my coworkers said and I didn't slip this morning, so I guess that means I must be doing ok.

Good luck on the rest of the week, be well and stay safe.

-Megan