Rolling With The Punches, Part 2

"You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience." -Stanislaw J. Lec

So, I don't know if many people have been keeping up to date about the MBLGTACC trip, but here is basically a continuation of last week's post.

We had to adjust a lot last week and change plans. We've had to do even more so here while on the trip. First off, a large storm came through on Thursday night when we left so we made an unscheduled stop to spend the night in Eau Claire, WI. We continued on, made it to MBLGTACC in Lansing, MI, had a good time, and then left very early on Sunday to make it back before the second storm cell hit. As it turns out we just weren't lucky enough. Two of our vehicles got flat tires in Wisconsin, one made it to a service station, one did not. After repairs, we decided it would be unsafe for us to continue the entire way home, opting instead to stay the night in Stillwater, MN with the parents of one student. We woke up this morning and decided to spend a bit of time at MOA while waiting to hear whether or not we had clearance to drive back. We did not receive such clearance as the DOT still listed dangerous driving conditions. We are still holed up in Stillwater, hoping to make it back tomorrow morning.

The whole trip feels like one giant illustration of Murphy's law. Tensions have definitely gotten high more than once, but overall we have been able to deal with the tough situations pretty well.  All of that being said, I am quickly approaching the end of my rope.  I'm struggling not so much with the people, but more with the frustrations that come with lacking control in this situation. I'm simply needed in Moorhead and I can't be there.  Still, my interpersonal reactions are starting to be affected. I'm recognizing that and trying to keep my temper in check and work with my tolerance. Honestly, I just budgeted enough emotional and cognitive resources to handle unexpected issues for 3 days and not 5 if that makes any sense. Right now, I just want to walk into my room, feed the fish, and collapse on my bed.

But, I know it's going to be over soon, and as I'm getting older, I'm getting better at approaching things like these with more patience and more recognition that it's out of my control. A poor attitude at this point won't do me, or anyone else, any favors. Safety is our primary concern and since we were not comfortable with taking such high risks of travel, the decision was pretty much made for us. We're working with what we've got and others have been extremely courteous to us and have shown us immense hospitality. We're so thankful for that.

Peace, love, and patience in frustrating situations,

-Megan

Rolling With The Punches

"In war as in life, it is often necessary when some cherished scheme has failed, to take up the best alternative open, and if so, it is folly not to work toward it with all of your might." -Winston Churchill

The last few days have been nothing but a change of plans. Due to a water main break here on campus, a dance was canceled, buildings were closed, and now walking routes have been designated to allow for cleaning and repair. Having a water main break with below freezing temperatures causes a lot of issues, but we're Cobbers, and we adapt... or rather, our maintenance staff does.

More pertinent, Nicole's plans have changed. A lot of us bloggers, me, Nicole, Melissa, and Malyn, were all scheduled to make a long awaited trip to this year's MBLGTACC (Midwestern Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference) with members of a campus organization. It's going to be held in Michigan and requires a nearly 15 hour drive which caused us to plan about 4 days consisting of travel, conference, and then travel again. Unfortunately, and resulting in an immense amount of grief and sadness, Nicole will now be traveling to be with family after an unexpected death. I'm sad too, since last year was so much fun and I was really looking forward to a repeat experience. I was actually in the same boat last year with the death of my grandfather, but lucky for me, I didn't run into too much interference with travel plans. Nicole is undoubtedly going to be in the right place, and it just requires a lot of flexibility and adaptation on everyone's part.

Life often times involves rolling with the punches and being able to adapt to things you never saw coming, and probably never wanted to deal with. Things come up that alter your plans for good and for worse, but you have to be able to do the best with what you have, because while it's totally normal to resist that change and resist being put in hard positions, it's going to hurt less if you try to go with the flow.

The trick is you have to accept what you can't change and learn how to effectively change what you can. A death is something you can't change, neither is something like a cancer diagnosis, but you just have to focus your energy on how you can face those situations in a way that provides the most benefit and the least amount of detriment. You have to find the little things you can control and work with those to make the best of your current situation. Sometimes that's just finding a way to take a deep breath without losing it, and that's okay sometimes.

Now, to acknowledge the other side of this, don't let that become an excuse not to utilize your agency in situations you CAN change. Accepting the things out of your control is only one side of the coin. It's equally noble to fight for changes you know are attainable. You can fight to change policy, you can fight to change injustice, and you can fight to change attitudes and beliefs. Don't accept status quo if you can dream of something truly better.

With peace and love,

Megan

"I just can't deal with this right now."

1. Document the sleep deprived quotations.
2. Ever in Ames, Iowa?  Eat at Jeff's Pizza.
3. Go.  You won't regret it.
4. Salsa Doritos are actually kind of good.

Megan here, better late than never right?  I promise I'll post next Wednesday.

Sadly, the title seemed to be my inner mantra for the last two weeks.  It knew I was in for a marathon with MBLGTACC alone, but then my family emergency popped up as well as a few other things I didn't account for.  I felt completely and utterly overwhelmed.  To give you an idea, I spent 19 hours in a vehicle over a span of 5 days and during those 5 days, I went a 72 hour stint with 11 total hours of sleep.  It was really rough and I kind of got a little bit goofy on the ride back.  MBLGTACC was incredible though and feel free to ask us about it.  It was a life changing experience as someone put it in our meeting yesterday, and I really really hope to be able to make next year's conference in Michigan.

I guess I learned a lot over the last week.  Sure, some things I didn't want to know, but it happens.  I was just stressed over going home and having to finally come to terms with another death in the family. There's been 4 since winter break started. Plus the funeral was on Valentine's Day which I already associate with negative connotations having nothing to do with over-commercialization or my currently single status.  So yeah, it was rough, especially with living out of a suitcase and missing classes and whatnot.

Things are rough sometimes, and sometimes they're utterly overwhelming and difficult, but they do get better.  I got back to campus on Tuesday night after white knuckling it through a snow storm to get here.  Yay for 30 mph on the interstate! (I digress) and so yesterday was my first full day back and I was so happy to just have familiarity and routine again.  Yesterday felt great for me.  I felt genuinely good and not stressed out.  Things definitely felt better, and I feel better in general.  It just goes to show that while things may be stressful, they can also be good at the same time.  MBLGTACC opened my eyes to a lot of things, plus I bonded with a lot of amazing people.  I learned, I laughed, I cried, and I experienced solidarity like I've never felt before.  Sure I was stressed when I got back over having to go home, but home was exactly where I needed to be and I'm glad I went back.  I would have regretted it if I hadn't, and I really needed the closure.

Feeling overwhelmed and like you can't handle things as they currently are, much less when an emergency arises, is scary; that's what friends are for.  Reach out and let someone else support you until things stabilize, and then you can get back to normal.  Things will ease up, and they will get better. 

Trust in other people as well as yourself.  You're going to be just fine.
Have a great week and hug someone you love.

-Megan

Wake Up!

1. Make sure your alarm is set.
2. Make sure you don't turn off your alarm instead of hitting the snooze.
3. If all else fails, just make sure your phone isn't on silent so someone can call you to wake you up.
4. Wake up.

Hello from Iowa! I am currently sitting in a hotel in Ames, IA, planning out tomorrow with Megan. We are at MBLGTACC (Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference) with our Straight and Gay Alliance. So far it has been amazing - went to a session on trans*, heard Rev. Dr. Jamie Washington speak, and saw Andrea Gibson perform.

We were scheduled to load up at 6:45 this morning and leave by 7....I woke up to Megan storming my dorm, telling me to wake up and get going. I had overslept my alarm and only had a few moments to finish packing and quickly get ready. If you know me, you know I do not feel human until I have a shower - I cannot function and I am not a happy camper as I normally am.

My "grr" face...

Although I felt non-human all day because I didn't get a shower, I woke up today. I woke up to the fact that there is more to learn and more to discover. I woke up to the fact that there needs to be change. I woke up to the fact I don't know myself as much as I thought I did. All of this isn't bad; it's exciting.

So here is my quick lesson for today: wake up to the world around you and wake up to yourself. When you think you know it all, something has gone terribly wrong. There is always something to learn - wake up to it.

Peace!

-Nicole

PS Listen to the Circle of Life while watching the sunrise.