Learn Something New

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. – Oscar Wilde

Hallo! (from Bekka)

As a student, I tend to forget that there are places other than the classroom, the library, and the coffee shop. College life, especially at Wash U, is very focused on academics. And it should be. But maybe, just maybe, there are other things to learn too.

I'm taking psych stats this semester and I walked into the class thinking that it was going to be the worst class that I will ever take. Guess what! I was wrong. It actually turned into a class that I look forward to going to. What's my point? Don't judge a course by its name.

So often in life we walk into situations with the same types of feelings I had starting psych stats, but what good does that do? Expecting failure leads to failure. Sometimes the best thing to do is be open to new things.

Without having an open mind it's hard to learn anything that's worth learning.

Keep hoping!

Bekka

Energy

1. Chocolate cupcakes are a great pick-me-up.
2. Smash is a great TV show, although it does have some faults.
3. Doing simple math in Spanish is quite hard.
4. Renew your energy.

Well hello there! Sorry for the long hiatus - it was spring break for us last week and this week is "hell week" for the Vagina Monologues (we open tomorrow!), so things have been busy. Life is pretty much back to normal, which is always good.

But to be frank, the weeks leading up to spring break weren't the greatest; it felt like everyone was falling apart and there was nothing I or anyone could do. Energy levels were really low and what was there was very negative. I hated to say it, but I just wanted to get away from everyone. I didn't want to leave campus because I loved the people and the culture of it all, but I couldn't stand the negative energy.

Then spring break came. I ended up spending a few days with my sister and brand-new niece (who, by the way, is my goddaughter). I was hesitant to go because I was so exhausted physically and emotionally. But it was what I needed. What I wanted was to spend a whole week alone in my house, watching movies and doing nothing. But I needed was to be somewhere with someone who loved me, but didn't care about what was going on. I needed to be swept up into a different energy. Being around a 1 week old baby and a 2 year old - one can't particularly think about themselves. It was what I needed and I am so glad I went. (I did end up spending some time alone and some time with friends from high school.)

Presley and I

Each of us influences the energy around us. The more positive people, there are more positive thoughts and ideas - positivity breeds positivity and negativity breeds negativity. Typically, when I felt like I was in a negative situation, I would leave. But because I am so connected with my friends here on campus, I couldn't do that - it would hurt more than help. I needed to 'reset' my energy, bring it back to a neutral level, one that was stable and easy.

Sometimes, we need to get away, we need to be swept up into a different energy. Sometimes we need to stop focusing on ourselves. Sometimes we need to stop trying to fix ourselves because at some point, it loses its effectiveness. And when you do come back to your world, come with an open mind and heart. Connect with friends in different ways and on deeper levels.

Sometimes, we just need to fix the fuse and flip the switch.

Peace!

-Nicole

Can't Breathe

1. Teaching in Spanish is not as scary as one would think.
2. Phone cases made to look like a cassette tape are epic (even better if they glow in the dark).

New phone case!

3. 6:45am does exist.
4. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

Last night was rough - I couldn't stop laughing. It was one of those laughing fits where there is no cause and everything is funny. I am fairly sure all my friends thought I was going insane, but hey, I made them laugh. And because of my laughing fit, I was having a hard time catching my breath.

I've always had issues breathing. I developed allergy-induced asthma when I was about 12 and for a few summers, I had to be on a low-dose inhaled steroid to control it. It's scary when you are having an asthma attack and you can't find your inhaler. Another issue I experience is sometimes, it feels like a large needle is being stuck into my lungs and every time I breathe in, the pain gets worse. When I was little, I use to hold my breath so I wouldn't have to feel the pain, but nearly every time, I had to take a gulp of air in so I wouldn't pass out. My mom told me, after I had experienced a few painful instances of it, that I just had to endure the pain; take a few deep breaths in and soon enough the pain will go away.

I have a few friends who are suffering like I will never know - family members are dying, depression is tormenting them, self-esteem issues are tearing them apart, and other things I may never know about. Even for me, I am having some issues with my anxiety. Although the only thing I want to do is sleep through it, ignore it, and pretend it doesn't exist, it won't help me.

Sometimes it has to get worse in order to get better. Sometimes you have to fall a bit farther to appreciate what you had before and to notice things you couldn't before. But that doesn't mean you should hold your breath during it all. Like when I was little, if I held my breath, the pain eventually disappeared, but it took twice as long for me to not feel the pain any more. And sometimes you need someone to tell you to breathe.

Don't be afraid to fall - it always gets better. And don't be afraid to tell someone about it - whatever it is - they may just help you.

Peace!

-Nicole

Do You Smell That?

1. Real butter is a treasure in a dorm room.
2. When selling chocolate bars for a fundraiser, it's a bad idea to to keep the box in your dorm.
3. Time After Time is an over-done song.
4. Smell the world.

Now I don't know if I am simply weird or if it is just an unspoken thing, but the first thing I notice about people is how they smell. Whenever I am with people, I can't help but notice what they smell like. For example, Megan smells like vanilla, sugar, and a mess of flowers. Melissa smells about the same, but it's less sweet and more rich. My mom, when I was younger, smelled like a bakery/deli because she worked at our local grocery store. When she had her days off, she smelled like clean clothes, her shampoo, and she smelled like her skin. Now, she just smells of home.

It's weird being at college. The first week weeks of living in the dorm were weird. I remember just feeling uncomfortable and I couldn't figure out why but then I figured it out: everything smelled differently. The bathroom didn't smell of my usual shampoo and my mom's hairspray - it now smelled like cleaning products and a mess of hair care supplies. My room smelled like it normally did, but it had a mix of something else. This was the most puzzling to me. I figured out why the bathroom smelled differently (the bathroom was cleaned every other day and was used by 30 girls), but my dorm room confused me the most. I knew my roommate had put out an air freshener, so I closed that for a while, figuring it would go back to the way I think it should smell - it didn't fix it. Finally, I figured it out: I wasn't the only one living in my room. I had my roommate and a ton more people were popping in and out of my dorm daily, so of course my room wouldn't just smell of me. After time, I didn't notice the difference as much.

When I was home for Christmas break, my mom came home one day after work. I had spent the whole day just lounging around and when I came downstairs, my mom looked at me and said, "I forgot you were here; I knew something smelled different." I never thought I had such a distinct smell until today, when I hugged my friend Shelby from behind. Although she didn't see my face, she somehow knew it was me. "I knew it was you," she said. "I could smell you." I laughed at it and made a comment about it later to Megan. "You have a very distinct smell," she said to me. I never thought I had a distinct smell. I never wear perfume and rarely do I put on lotion. The only thing that is consistent that I use that has a smell is my shampoo and conditioner. When I do put on something that has a smell to it, the smell tends to fade quite quickly. It just seems that there is something about me that smells a certain way.

Whenever I spend a few hours or the night in Megan's dorm, I come back smelling like a combination of her dorm (vanilla) and me. And this happens no matter where I go - I always come back smelling a bit different. Even when I hug someone, their smell lingers and it's almost like they are there all the time. It's crazy how much a smell can affect you - it can bring you back to a certain moment or bring back memories of someone. For me, the smell of a garden will forever remind me of my grandma. Beef jerky will remind me of car rides home with my mom from school.

Here's the point I'm trying to make: our sense of smell is here for a reason. Smell the world - I know it sounds funny, but we use our ears, eyes, and hands so often we sometimes forget about our noses. Our sense of smell can remind us of where we have been and who we've been with. Our skin is was reminds people of who we are - that we are real and sitting next to them or really giving them a hug. Sure, they can feel us, but when the smell of us (because each of us has a distinct smell) surrounds them, we really become real and our smell lingers and reminds them of who we are.

Stop and smell the flowers around you - you never know what they will remind you of.

Peace!

-Nicole

Free Hugs!

1. Flying through assignments is always a good feeling.
2. Discovering you can go home a day early for break is awesome.
3. Don't do weird accents during class...you might be heard.
4. Hugs. Are. Beautiful.

"Hugging is a beautiful Western custom...When you hug...if you breathe in and out three times, your happiness will be multiplied at least tenfold." - Thich Nhat Hanh

This quotation is from the book Peace Is Every Step, which I am reading for my Buddhism & meditation class. When I got to class today, I wasn't fully prepared. I had only read half of the text and I wasn't too excited to be there in the first place. But then we started to discuss the text. Someone pointed out a section entitled "Hugging Meditation". This caught my attention.

Megan gives the best hugs. If you ever come to see us, ask her for a hug. I think I ask her for a hug at least two or three times a day. Your mood tends to become happier. This is pretty much true of all good hugs. Whenever I was having a bad night and I was an emotional wreck, a hug from my mom always made it a bit better. Or even we were kids. If we fell down or someone hurt us, a hug would tend to make it better. Hugs are the magical medicine.

Not all hugs have been great. Take the example of the kids I babysat. I have known them for nearly half their lives and whenever I see them, they give me a hug...but it's lame. It's half hearted, distracted, and weak. Thich Nhat Hanh says, "If you are distracted, thinking about other things, your hug will be distracted also, not very deep, and you may not enjoy hugging very much." True, ain't it? I always make the kids re-hug me and then they get it right.

Which leads me to think, why do we give weak hugs? I think part of it is that we are distracted, but I think it is because we don't realize how much of an effect we can have on people through our actions. A hug is a very simple thing; so is holding the door open or helping someone pick up something they dropped. But it can make or break a person's day.... "Actions speak louder than words."

Put all of yourself into whatever you're doing. Nhat Hanh talks about a parent ignoring their daughter. If they turn their focus on her, they become a real person. And, "when you become a real person, your daughter becomes real also. She is a wondrous presence, and a real encounter with life is possible at the moment. If you hold her in your arms and breathe, you will awaken to the preciousness of your loved one, and life is."

So the next time you hug someone, be there, not distracted by other things. You never know how long they will be there nor do you know how it is affecting them. And you never know, it might have an effect on you.

Peace!

-Nicole

PS You can now comment on the list of simple pleasures....so please let me know what to add!

A Question

1. Striking a set for a play is fun... especially if you get to kick things down.
2. Rainy days are not always bad.
3. Some songs need to be listened to over and over again.
4. Ask questions. It's ok.

My theatre professor is obsessed with questions. He constantly tells us to ask questions, even if it seems irrelevant. I partially believe he just wants more opportunities to tell his crazy stories, but I also believe he has a valid point. Life is a bunch of questions. And don't we want to live life?

I used to be terrified to ask questions when I was with peers. I never wanted to seem dumb or naive. So, I tended to keep my questions to myself. I also never really asked questions when I was with adults. Sure, in class, I asked questions, but in conversation with adults I never really wanted to ask anything, again because of the fear I would be viewed as dumb.

I've noticed when I encounter someone who always asks questions at the appropriate times, I tend to view them as intelligent and curious, which is very different from how I think people view me when I ask questions. Just a thought.

When we are younger, we ask a ton of questions. Everything is a mystery and everything is new; we want and need to explore everything, so we ask questions. What happens that causes us to stop asking questions when we grow up? I think fears get in the way. I was reading a book for my writing class and the author, Chuck Klosterman, stated, "The more we know, the less we are able to feel." It seems when we are younger, we feel the world. We don't learn it, we simply feel it. Life wasn't about facts; it was about how we related to everything around us. We felt everything.

Why can't we go back to feeling the world? If life is questions and we want to live, then living is questioning. We won't grow unless we learn and feel the world around us. And what better way to grow and feel than to ask questions?

Don't be afraid to just ask. You may find the response interesting.

Peace!

-Nicole