The Positive Past

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” -Søren Kierkegaard

The past can suck. Well, okay actually parts of the past can suck, but there are a ton of positive things as well. Here's an example:

If there's one thing I'm proud of, it's my social network: the people I have surrounded myself with for the past 7 or so years. From middle school on up I have been allowed to influence, and have been influenced by the most incredible circle of people, and over the last few weeks I bit a rather specific sort of bullet and chose to reconnect as much as I could with individuals I had lost some closeness with. I talked to pals from high school, my various friend groups, old teachers, and some others. I count myself very lucky to have all of them, not because of any action on my part, but because of everything on their part.

The past... it can be difficult, but it influences your present whether you like it or not. It is completely in your control however, how and where that influence comes into play--for positive or for negative. For me, my experiences with all these people have helped to lay the foundation for my current self, and so when I made all these re-connections, I was simply hoping that these people remembered me with the same fondness that I remembered them.

What I walked away with was the realization that even though we hadn't spoken in a while, or there had been past misunderstandings and miss-communications, there was still so much positive history that when push came to shove, a reciprocated friendship and understanding still remained. By nature, humans are pro-social, working for the benefit of each other most of the time, and it leaves a mark. So all those times when maybe you took someone aside in an empty hallway so they could tell you how they were feeling, all those times you crowded into a van and solved the world's problems, all those times you let yourself be vulnerable in a piece of writing, or even those times when you got into a car together and didn't know where you'd end up or when you'd be back... all those shared experiences aren't meaningless. When I reached out to those connections with something like, "Is it ok if I talk with you for a little bit? because I'm hurting and I feel helpless and I need some reassurance to help me get through this." The response I got was nothing short of an incredible resurgence of all of that past positive regard and those positive experiences.

My friends, my family, my mentors, and my random acquaintances showed me love and support impossible to measure. They came through for me, just like I needed them to. I have faith in them no doubt, but maybe more importantly, they have faith in me. They told me again and again that I knew what was best for me, and that I knew what was right. It's not necessarily so much what our connections do for us, but what they teach us to do for ourselves that stands the ultimate test of time. How lucky I am then, to have both beautiful experiences. Through all those many many many conversations, re-connections  and essentially trust falls, I now know with everything in me, that I'm doing the right thing. I am in a beautiful situation, and I'm in a wonderful place in my life.

As my high school poetry teacher recently told me,
"Trust yourself. Trust love."

-Megan

That One Teacher

1. Don't drink too much caffeine while writing a paper.  You won't sleep even when you're done.
2. Just because someone has a differing opinion, does not mean they're attacking yours.
3.Sometimes people throw banana peels at you.
4. You are your own best advocate.

Hey hey, Megan here, Happy Wednesday again!  The school year's winding down and it's getting super scary.  I just turned in my final Psych paper today.  Yikes.

It seems I have been having a lot of conversations or little moments of insight surrounding the teachers in my life, both academic and otherwise.  Shout out to Amy, since I know she'll read this and know what I'm talking about. I honestly hope every single one of you can think back and remember one really influential teacher in your life, someone who has influenced you profoundly, who helped you find yourself, or at least perhaps started you down that path.

I know for me this was my poetry teacher during my Junior year of high school.  I was just coming off of one of the roughest summers of my life and was still struggling to cope with the death of my aunt who lost her fight with pancreatic cancer at age 52.  I had dabbled in poetry ever since I was a freshman and as I was registering for classes at the end of my sophomore year, I was considering a career in political science. I kind of wanted to take Advanced Public Speaking, but ended up taking a chance on and dropping it, picking up Poetry Writing instead.

I'm really glad I did, because that course ended up changing my life, and continues to have a huge effect as I start my English Writing minor next fall (with a poetry emphasis.)  That teacher (who I hope will find this and read it) supported and encouraged me to write, not what felt poetic or appealing, but what I was really feeling and experiencing.  She taught me to use my own voice, and was the first real person to give me positive feedback to the point where I actually felt what I was doing was worth while. Her big thing was always "Tell your story." Looking back, I am so, so grateful for having known her, and that we continue to stay in contact. I have returned twice now to speak to classes of hers.

This teacher has always treated me with respect, it's as if she took the opportunity to learn from me as much as I took the opportunity to learn from her--she's a wonderful poet herself.  She taught me to use always use my voice, and that's a lesson I still remember and try to keep close.  The other week, my friend told me to be an advocate and I felt almost offended at the idea.  How dare someone assume that's my job? After pondering it for a few days, I realized that I really was my own best advocate. I consider myself an advocate for so many other people that it only made sense that I should be willing to represent myself as well.  I kind of had no choice in the matter. We are all our own best advocates, and as long as I have a voice that I'm willing to use, I am called upon to use it.

I will always remember my poetry teacher and the impact she had and continues to have on me.  I hope everyone has a similar story they can look back fondly upon, and if that's not the case yet, I think it will be.  Take a second to think about and appreciate the teachers in your life.  They deserve so much respect for having the willingness to impart their knowledge and wisdom.

All my love,

Megan

Energy

1. Chocolate cupcakes are a great pick-me-up.
2. Smash is a great TV show, although it does have some faults.
3. Doing simple math in Spanish is quite hard.
4. Renew your energy.

Well hello there! Sorry for the long hiatus - it was spring break for us last week and this week is "hell week" for the Vagina Monologues (we open tomorrow!), so things have been busy. Life is pretty much back to normal, which is always good.

But to be frank, the weeks leading up to spring break weren't the greatest; it felt like everyone was falling apart and there was nothing I or anyone could do. Energy levels were really low and what was there was very negative. I hated to say it, but I just wanted to get away from everyone. I didn't want to leave campus because I loved the people and the culture of it all, but I couldn't stand the negative energy.

Then spring break came. I ended up spending a few days with my sister and brand-new niece (who, by the way, is my goddaughter). I was hesitant to go because I was so exhausted physically and emotionally. But it was what I needed. What I wanted was to spend a whole week alone in my house, watching movies and doing nothing. But I needed was to be somewhere with someone who loved me, but didn't care about what was going on. I needed to be swept up into a different energy. Being around a 1 week old baby and a 2 year old - one can't particularly think about themselves. It was what I needed and I am so glad I went. (I did end up spending some time alone and some time with friends from high school.)

Presley and I

Each of us influences the energy around us. The more positive people, there are more positive thoughts and ideas - positivity breeds positivity and negativity breeds negativity. Typically, when I felt like I was in a negative situation, I would leave. But because I am so connected with my friends here on campus, I couldn't do that - it would hurt more than help. I needed to 'reset' my energy, bring it back to a neutral level, one that was stable and easy.

Sometimes, we need to get away, we need to be swept up into a different energy. Sometimes we need to stop focusing on ourselves. Sometimes we need to stop trying to fix ourselves because at some point, it loses its effectiveness. And when you do come back to your world, come with an open mind and heart. Connect with friends in different ways and on deeper levels.

Sometimes, we just need to fix the fuse and flip the switch.

Peace!

-Nicole

In Search of a Better Metaphor

1. You KNOW it's gonna be a good day when DS plays Gaga, Evanescence, The Script, and the Goo Goo Dolls consecutively.
2. Sleep doesn't always come easy.
3. Have fun with Plato (and play-doh)
4. Breathe

Happy Friday, and happy Friday the 13th! Megan here--we're just changing it up this week.

All right, so I want you to take a moment and think about something for me. Are you, or do you know, someone you would describe as an emotional rock? Got someone in mind? Good, so do I... and I miss them a ton. The term "Emotional Rock" carries with it a specific connotation of someone very anchored and strong, able to withstand any and all instances of adversity, usually while remaining positive about everything. They essentially give the impression of oozing glue everywhere and are able to keep not only themselves, but everyone else together and united. However, there are a lot of aspects of rocks that really kind of make this an odd metaphor. For instance, rocks aren't alive, and while they change to their environment, it's definitely not quickly enough to mimic what is needed in our human experiences. Rocks don't move or adapt, or do anything under their own power. And so that leads me to the following idea.

Let's find a new metaphor. I propose trees, though... "emotional trees" makes me think of weeping willows... No, seriously, think about trees. Trees have the ability to adapt to tons of various circumstances--they influence and are influenced by the environment, they're alive, and it takes a heck of a lot to knock 'em down. People who are described as the equivalent of emotional rocks need to be able to adapt, to roll with the punches, to be swayed. Being able to adapt to conditions around us leads to our survival--the ability to adapt leads to the survival of every living thing, and since rocks aren't alive, they don't have that problem and thus, can't really serve as our best metaphor. Trees, on the other hand, take some level of control over their own lives. Have you ever seen trees grow towards a light or water source? Mmmmhmm, that's what I'm talking about.

Yep, I like the idea of using trees. I mean, it takes a lot to knock them down, they can be damaged, but they also have the ability to heal. They change and improve the environment by preventing erosion, creating oxygen, and they provide shelter for all sorts of creatures. Yep, we should all strive to be emotional trees instead of emotional rocks. Let's be honest, rocks are great, but they just lock up and sit there. Yeah, they can withstand a ton of assault, but so can trees... and we need something a little more complex, metaphorically speaking. (Plus trees have sap which is really... gluey. It helps things stick together right?)

Strength doesn't come always from hunkering down and putting up walls, it comes from adapting to your circumstances, from influencing what's around you and letting it influence you.

Have an excellent day, you emotional tree you. Watch out for those pesky woodpeckers.

-Megan