How To: Watch People Grow

A week ago, I got back from a 10 day adventure across the country with 40 other people to the ELCA National Youth Gathering, saw the ocean, overtook New Orleans with 37,000 other Lutherans, walked into an empty Superdome, got terribly ill, went on a few roller coasters, and had the greatest pleasure of watching people grow.

My home for the past two weeks - bus 718!

When I got on the bus early on the 14th of July, I expected it to be like any other trip... and I was right. It was full of crazy loud teenagers, high tensions, sleep deprivation, and good conversations. But something was different - I was able to watch it all. I had been a student on the last trip to the Youth Gathering in 2009, which was an amazing experience. Now three years later, I decided to tag along for this trip.

I had five "children" in my group, most of whom I knew before this trip. Our conversations in the beginning were rough and a bit sluggish, as expected, but on the last two days something unexpected for me happened. The conversation flowed and flourished and I heard things I never even thought of before. I saw eyes with a new spark and I knew that beyond this trip is where real growth will be seen.

I also saw Megan grow. We had someone drop out of the trip a few months before we left and my mom (the director of youth at my church) decided to invite Megan to go along. Megan was cautious and thought herself into a tizzy about it all. Although I was happy to have my partner-in-crime along for the trip, I was also excited to see her find some other partners-in-crime. And she did. I barely had time to talk to her. And since I cannot speak for her, here is what Megan thought of it all.

So what about me? It's hard to know. When I was younger, I knew if I had suddenly changed after camp and other 'mountain-top experiences'. But now that I'm older, it's harder to tell. I think after this trip and watching so many hearts and minds change, I can't help but feel I've changed and grown myself.

It seems to me that change is easier to see after a period of time. Comparing me a few weeks ago and me now, I can see the change. I dunno what that is, but it's there. I guess only time will tell with new experiences and new people, but I guess I'm ok with that.

Peace!

-Nicole

How To: Let Someone Surprise You

1. Believe everything people tell you.  There's no way they're not telling you the whole truth.
2. Underestimate your friends.
3. Underestimate your parents.
4. Refrain from texting people because you don't want to impose.  It will give them time to drive to your town.
5. Tell everyone where you're going and the exact time you leave.  It will give them time to call your parents.

In case you didn't hear--but you probably did if you read Nicole's last post--I had quite the birthday.  First things first, birthdays are not a big thing in my family.  You get a cake if you're lucky.  We'll take you out to your favorite restaurant eventually, but they've never been super celebrated.  For the record, it's not that we never celebrate, we just do it when it's convenient.  I've always celebrated my birthday on July 3rd when my family gets together because the church and town throws a party. Three of us grandkids have birthdays in July so it's nice and convenient.  Plus there's a fireworks show.  Sometimes I'll have a bonfire in late July or early August if I'm feeling motivated.

I did not expect anything different this year.  I really didn't.  Every time Nicole would mention my birthday, I told her I wasn't planning anything.  She would always get upset and the conversation would end with something like:

Nicole:  You're so frustrating.  You're driving me crazy.
Me: I'm sorry, I told you I might do something in August.

So the night before my birthday, I was feeling a little weird about turning 20.  It's a scary number, especially when you feel like you should be taller or just feel older. I was talking to Nicole when Melissa asked me to come over and watch a movie. I asked Nicole if I should go and she told me I should. Mind you, this was 11:45 at night. I knew Nicole had something to do with it, I thought she put Melissa up to it. I decided to go to get my mind off things and when I walked downstairs, there was a figure in a hoodie just chilling on the couch.  I thought it was Melissa's sister, until the figure started laughing.  Helloooo Nicole. Surprise #1.  At that point I thought that was the extent of the surprise.  I had no reason to believe anything else.  I was in complete and utter shock.  For weeks I had heard her griping about how she was working that weekend. I smiled for the rest of the night--until I went to bed at 4 am.

Melissa and Nicole wanted to take me out for lunch the next day, but I declined, saying I had a grad party to go to. Nicole told me the grad party started at 2...at which point I knew this was a lot deeper than I thought and that my parents knew about this. Surprise #2.  So they took me out to lunch the next day and we made plans to hook up with Melissa after she got off work at 9. Meanwhile, Nicole and I headed to that grad party.  After that, we went to my place, rented a movie, and I started to wind down for what I thought would be a relaxing night.  I decided to check the mail, at which point Nicole told me she told people to write letters to me.  Surprise #3.

We took some time to chill before watching the film when all of a sudden my doorbell rang.  Nicole ran to go get it and at THAT point, I knew I was in for much, much more. Surprise #4.  My friends started showing up and I was treated to my first ever surprise party, which included having packing peanuts poured on me multiple times and one heck of a cake. My parents knew about everything.  Everything.

I had no reason to suspect anything. No one made me suspect anything and even if there were hints, I never picked up on them.  Nicole has never been dishonest and this has dealt a serious blow to my trust! :P  Maybe this is what I get for befriending people with acting experience?  After reluctantly kicking people out because we both had horribly early mornings, we went to bed.  As I was practically in tears out of pure happiness and awe that someone had put in so much time and effort to throw me a party, Nicole said, "I told you, I just like birthdays." Go figure.

And that is how to let someone surprise you.  Needless to say, Melissa and Nicole turned turning 20 into an event I won't soon forget.

With love and hugs,

Megan

How To: Surprise Someone

Steps:

1. Fib just a bit. Create an illusion of something, only to break it later.

2. Get other people in on it. The more, the merrier.

3. Let the person find out about the surprise...don't just tell them about it.

4. Don't be to rigid about timing. Be flexible - again, let the person figure things out themselves. It's more of a surprise then.

5. Offend the person just a little bit. (But not enough so that they are angry at you.)

6. Overall, make sure the person is enjoying everything.

This past weekend was Megan's 20th birthday. And before I say anything else, let me first say that I love birthdays. I plan for my birthday months in advance and I adore going to other people's birthdays. To me, birthdays are a celebration of life. No matter what the past year entailed, a birthday is a celebration of making it another year and the wish of more birthdays to come. I love birthdays.

To Megan, though, birthdays are nothing special. Being so close to her, this was an issue. So I started to plan. I told her I wouldn't be able to make it down for her birthday because I had to work. Then I contacted a few of her friends from home and got them in on it. Heck, I even talked to her mom. I arrived at Melissa's house, who I was staying with, and there we put our plan into action. The whole weekend went flawlessly. I couldn't have asked for it to go any better.

I hate surprises. I don't like not knowing what's going on. I like being in control, mainly. It seems most of the surprises in my life have had a bad edge to them. April Fools is my enemy. Horror movies? Never going to happen. Suspense movies? Yeah, no. But for some strange reason, I love surprising other people. I love getting reactions out of people. Megan asked me what my favorite part of the weekend was and my first response was "Your reactions." Her reaction was mainly shock and then pure enjoyment.

I think I've learned over the past weekend and even in the past months is that surprises can be good. Like a surprise birthday party. I've also discovered that surprises aren't always revealed all in one moment. Sometimes they take months. I'm surprised at how my relationships with people have developed and I'm surprised at what classes I enjoyed. And getting that surprise reaction out of others is cool too, maybe just because it's a surprise at what their reaction will be.

Surprises are confusing, but often very worth it. You learn a bit more about yourself and others, no matter what the outcome.

Peace!

-Nicole

How To: Listen (And Sometimes Talk)

Steps:
1. Be patient.
2. Only talk when whoever is talking has finished their thought.
3. When you do talk, keep it to a limit. Only say things that are direct and things that don't put down.

When I was little, people always said I was a good listener. And in my opinion, I was. I could sit for hours and listen to people talk about anything and everything. I enjoyed hearing other's views on things and I didn't find it necessary to make my own opinion be heard. This also translated into my relationships with friends. Very rarely would I know a solution to a situation, but somehow just by listening and telling them my truth, it seemed to work out. Now that I'm a bit older, it has been flipped just a bit. I tend to want to have people know my opinion or if someone is in need of help, I talk more than is necessary.

The past few weeks, I have sought out some advice and someone to listen to me because things have come up in my life. I've discovered that more often than not, I knew the solution to the problem. What made me realize that solution was not always because of the person's words, but it was their attentiveness. They may have thought of solutions to the problems, but they refrained from telling me because I probably wouldn't have listened. What works for them, wouldn't work for me. A little direction is always helpful, but when they did give direction, it was never a command.

I've also discovered that when someone listens to me rant/complain/cry and they just allow me to do so, I begin to hear myself. I hear how ridiculous and irrational the words that are coming out of my mouth are. "Silence speaks more than words and actions" has been my rule of thumb when it comes to acting serious pieces/scenes. It gives the audience time to take the words spoken and process them. The silence is a breath, something to bring you back to the present. My mom always tells trip chaperons that during small group discussions, don't be afraid of silence. Know the kids are thinking and if they come up with an answer, it will be much more beneficial than you just giving them your answer. Silence in a conversation makes you think harder and figure things out.

Listening - it seems to be a lost art. But to those who have helped me through rough times and to anyone who has helped anyone, thanks for listening.

Peace!

-Nicole

How To: Enjoy an Internship

Steps:
1. Accept the fact you must be there for the whole time.
2. Work with friends or if no friends are present, make some.
3. Pick an internship in an area you're interested in, but you are unsure about.
4. Stay calm when your boss frustrates you. Remind yourself that you're still an intern, no matter how much responsibility you have.
5. Remember that your main priority is to learn.

This summer, I was given an internship at a local theatre, primarily working with costumes. (We're doing How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. Get the theme for blog this summer?) I'm still not sure if I want to continue getting a degree in theatre and I thought this was the perfect way to make it more clear. I thought I was going to love it and be so happy to go there every morning, but after the first week, I wasn't too happy to be an intern. I thought I was going to be doing costumes for most of my time there, but it turns out I also have to clean, take out garbage, and general maintenance things. I only was able to spend 3 hours doing costumes, which wasn't enough time for me to learn what I wanted to and for Jen, our designer, it wasn't enough time to get things done. I was increasingly becoming frustrated with the people (especially my boss), the work, and everything in-between.

After a week of increasing frustration and slight anger, I finally took a step back. Little did I remember that this is what I love to do. Not only would I be creating wonderful pieces of clothing, I would be doing it for kids (age 11-17, so not really kids, but younger than I). The designer, Jen, is wonderful (although crass at times) and is more than willing to teach me. I am working with friends who make me feel wonderful and who I still want to hang out with after work is done. (Favorite quotation so far is from Amanda, after we crashed a cart on the stairs to our office: "It's a waterfall of book knowledgeableness!")

I also was having issues with the time. I would be working 9 to 5 everyday and every Tuesday and Thursday, I would work an added three hours from 6 to 9. It was more than I thought I bargained for, but when I put it into perspective, I thought differently. It's a theatre production and even when I'm not paid, I put in more time than I am right now. Perspective, it works.

Then there was my boss. He was my professor for the two theatre classes I took and the director for the only play I was in this past year. Frankly, I was sick of him and his methods. And I wasn't the only one. Amanda and Erin, the other interns, are just as frustrated, if not more, with him. I've discovered that it makes no sense to be frustrated. The best thing I can do is stay calm and be reasonable when communicating with him.

And lastly, I remembered that an internship means a job where you learn. I think I have learned more about costumes in the few weeks I've worked than I have in the past couple of years. It's intensive learning and quite hands on. And not only that, but my learning will end up on stage, in front of crowds.

And I'm pretty proud of that.

Peace!

-Nicole

How To: Fend Off a Sleepless Night

Steps: (not necessarily in order)
1. Get up and walk around.
2. Move to a different spot. 
3. Drink some hot tea or warm milk.
4. Use some relaxation techniques.
5. Listen to soothing music.
6. Listen to white noise or other repetitive sound.
7. Read or write.

It seems like for me, I either sleep like a rock or I don't sleep at all.  I have pulled my share of all-nighters, but not necessarily by choice.  I just have a lot of issues sleeping, and sometimes they have a cause and sometimes they don't. I even went through this phase when I was in second grade where every night I would wake up at 2:00 am on the nose and I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. I think my all-time record for consecutive hours awake is 38 (set shortly after the school year started), and a close second is sleeping for 11 hours over the course of 72 (set over our weekend at MBLGTACC '12)  Not being able to sleep is a huge annoyance at best and a debilitating problem at worst, and most of us have issues sleeping at one point or another. It always seems to get worse for me over summer and I have quite a few friends who struggle with insomnia, so here are some of my tried and true methods for dealing with rough nights.

One suggestion I have is getting up and walking around or moving to another spot.  I'll either walk around the house a few times or move to a couch, something I know my dad does as well.  Usually I just hang out on the couch for a half hour or so and then move back to my bed and magically I'm able to find a comfortable spot and drift off.  I think trouble sleeping has a lot to do with restlessness--either the body or mind gets stuck in one spot, so try changing it up a bit.  Move to a couch or get a different pillow or something like that.

Now, I'm a huge tea fan and there are a lot of brands and types of tea marketed for their calming effects.  My family swears by Sleepytime from Celestial Seasonings, and there's also Quietly Chamomile by Lipton.  I think hot liquids help a lot in general as a means of relaxation.  It may be a placebo, but I absolutely swear by a mug of warm milk.  It works every time for me. I also recommend using some relaxation techniques, such as progressive relaxation which involves tensing and relaxing individual muscles. I usually start with my feet and work my way up, and it also works well for anxiety. Google it for more info. I also listen to music a lot, especially if I can't sleep in summer.  There is some really great Native American flute music as well as acoustic guitar on Youtube which never fails to help me out.  Also, listening to white noise or something repetitive. If you like to fall asleep to rain, you know what I'm talking about. I found that I could fall asleep pretty easily to the ticking of my watch or my dog's heartbeat. 

Often times when I can't sleep it's due to thinking too much.  I just can't seem to turn off my mind either because I'm worried about something or I have an idea that's bugging me.  I suggest getting out a notebook and just jotting all the stuff down to get it out of your head.  I also find writing things out, especially in a way that others would understand them, helps me to organize and better comprehend my ideas or the situation as a whole, instead of everything being jumbled up and scattered.  Who knows, you might even find out you wrote something brilliant when you wake up.  I keep a notebook under my bed and it has come in handy quite a bit.  Also, reading a book for a little while might help relax you enough to fall asleep.

I hope some of these things work for you if you're having trouble sleeping, and you can always look up some techniques on your own. Good night, good luck, sweet dreams, and whatever you do, don't drink caffeine before bed!

With love and hugs,

-Megan

How To: Transition Back Home

(Here is our summer series - How To. To keep the blog going and to give you all something to read, I'd thought we'd give you updates in a different way than normal for the summer.)

Steps:
1. Move everything back into place - make it like it was before or even improve. Make sure everything that you don't want in your room at home is stored away from view. Make yourself as comfortable as possible in your space at home.
2. Find a job or at least something to keep you busy.
3. Talk to your friends from college about the transition - tell them it's hard if it is. Just be honest. But find a balance of when to talk and what to talk about.
4. Reconnect or make new connections with friends.
5. Don't be afraid to make plans for the next year.

Ah, summer. It's a wonderful time. Right now, it's about 90 degrees out and sunny as ever. I'm excited that I can finally wear tank tops and shorts and go barefoot outside, but lately, I've been a bit down. The transition back home has been rough for me, as for many of the other writers here and many of my other friends. I've spent some nights crying, some days unwilling to get out of bed, and other days are full of energy and joy.

We spend about 8 or 9 months away from home, determining how we should live our day to day lives, having a life that our parents have no idea what it consists of, unless we tell them. I flourished while in college (read previous posts for evidence). I became closer to people than I ever have and spent nearly every moment of my life in contact with someone. Now that it's summer, it's yet another change. My best friend from high school now lives in another state and my friends who are still in high school are, well, still in high school. It was easy while classes were still session to hang out with people because they were only two steps away in their own dorm room.

In the past few weeks since classes have finished, I've discovered a few things. First, I miss a lot of people and miss them more than I have missed people before. They became a part of me and it really does feel like I've lost part of myself. Second, it's hard to find a balance of communication with people. Not only the frequency, but what we talk about. And third, time alone is hard. It just is.

So here are some solutions I hope will work. First, be comfortable. I still have some of my dorm stuff sitting in my living room (my microwave, a shelving unit, etc). And because I'm in my living room a lot, it just reminds me of people and events and such. The more stuff I put away, the easier it is to enjoy my summer. Second, keep busy. I started my job about a week and a half ago and it makes me tired as ever and keeps me busy. I don't really have time to miss people. Third, talk to people about how you're doing. And it's ok to tell them you miss them. I've found that chances are, they miss you too. But don't just talk about that - talk about what you did that day and such. Also, find a balance of communication. If you are staying up or delaying an activity to wait for them to respond, something's wrong. Focus more on other relationships. Which leads me to thing four. You had 8 months to build relationships - they can be put on slow-mo for a few months while you develop other relationships. I'm really excited for when the high schools are done because then I have more people to reconnect with. Oh and take pictures! Document your epic summer to show people when you get back to school. And the final thing is make plans for next year. Just get excited.

Yes, this transition has been hard. Yes, I've had days where all I want to do is sleep and watch movies and cry. But there are beginning to be more days where I can't wait to see my friends at work, learn new things, or start a new project. It's simply a change and this one - summer - is a good change. Soak up the sun. Enjoy life.

Peace!

-Nicole

Note: Wrap Up

First off, too wrap up this blog's "first year at college", here are some statistics.

Most common tag: Friends

Total posts: 107

Most viewed post: Note: Glances with 66 views

Best month: October with 1,009 views

Total views: 5,562 (as of right now)

Oh and we have 235 views from people in Russia (2nd next to the US)

This summer, all of here on Dorm Room 718 will be taking a break. There will be occasional posts, but it won't be on a regular schedule. Us writers will be brainstorming some ideas on what will come next for the blog during our sophomore year that will be revealed just before we start school again in the fall. But until then, enjoy our other blogs (plus a few I enjoy reading):

My Epic Life: Megan's other blog

Musings of a Poetess: My poetry blog

Undefined: My friend Meg's blog (she wrote the article on the blog for our school's newspaper)

Bound South: A classmate from high school is just finishing up his bike tour across all of the Americas

Late Nights, Street Lights: My friend Andrew's blog

Sleeping with the Sunrise: My friend Geneva's blog

The Zenith Perspective: My friend Blake's photo blog

Enjoy reading and enjoy summer and enjoy life.

Peace!

Until next time,

Nicole

Freshman Year

1. It's been amazing.

Well, it's done. Freshman year is completed and summer has officially begun. It's been a bit emotional but I honestly could not have asked for more. I wrote a few letters to friends before they left and nearly every single one of them said something along the lines of "This year has been the weirdest, moodiest, and craziest year yet, but it's definitely been the best." And I think everyone agrees (see Megan's post here and on her personal blog and my friend Meg's post). When I started this year, I didn't expect it to go the way it did. Of course, the way it turned out isn't terrible or bad in the least bit - it has been the best. I became someone I didn't know was inside of me. I created relationships that are deeper than I could ever imagine (or anyone could imagine I think). I tried things I would have never dared to do. Now, looking back at it, I honestly could have not asked for more.

I would do a sappy post with a ton of pictures and emotional-ridden stories, but I feel like this whole blog is just that. The only thing I can say is...

Thanks for reading. It's been wonderful. And there will only be more shenanigans to come.

Until next time,

Nicole

How Do You Measure?

1. Speak up.
2. Migraines aren't fun.
3. Don't take lofts down by yourself, but if you do, you're gonna have some epic bruises.
4. Take time to reflect on the times life has been good to you.

Oh my gosh!  Megan here... It's the last Wednesday of the year, so you'll probably be hearing a lot less from me.  I'll post some over summer, but I think we're going off the usual schedule.

This week has been so strange.  I've been emotional almost the entire week, and can't seem to get over the fact that freshman year is almost over.  I'm taking a break from studying as I have 2 exams on Friday that I'm a little nervous about.  When you mix the stress of finals with packing and having to understand that you won't see the people you've lived with, laughed with, studied with, cried with, learned with, for the next four months...  It feels a little overwhelming.  I go into my emotions a little bit more on my other blog.

I think it goes without saying that I've been doing way too much reflecting and thinking and feeling this past week about the year and the future...  It was inevitable.  I just feel so rushed with finals that there's little time to relax, have fun, and celebrate the year.

You know, the first movie night of many in my dorm was when Melissa and Nicole came over and we watched Rent--since I had never seen it before.  I think Nicole and I stayed up late and woke up early just talking about anything and everything.  It's kind of my first really happy, really groundbreaking memory of college that let me know this year was going to be something special.  Since then, I've listened to the Rent soundtrack way too many times, especially over Christmas break.  I almost have all of "La Vie Boheme" memorized I think, but the song that really gets to me is "Seasons of Love."  It gets me--and Sally--every time.  The song pretty much asks the question, "How do you measure a year?"  So... here are some ways in which I will measure my freshman year in college, all with the fondest of memories:
 

Tumblr posts

Facebook statuses

Dollars spent

Facebook events attended

Miles traveled

Ticket stubs

Movies watched

Cups of tea

Blog posts

Papers written

Hugs

Stories told

Times I laughed 'til I cried

Letters written

Text messages sent

Hours I should have been sleeping

Hours spent talking

Exams taken

Loads of laundry done

New facebook friends

Phone calls home

Photos taken

Meals in DS

Times I’ve redyed my hair

Times I wanted to cry

Times I felt overwhelmed

Times I felt loved

And last but not least, times I realized that I was where I was meant to be.

It has been such a wonderful year, and while it was honestly the most stressful and difficult I've had, it's also been the greatest.  Nicole thinks this post is cheesy.  I say it's nostalgic.

All of my love,

-Megan