Family Ties

1. Pumpkin pie is a God-send.

2. Black Friday isn't all bad.

3. 2-year-olds are hard to keep up with.

4. Blood is thicker than water.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope your Thanksgiving was full of food and love. I am currently sitting in the car, on my way home. I had Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's then spent today shopping with my aunt and cousins. It was a fantastic break from college and it was also an adventure - a good, but slightly scary one.

I met my sister this August. I grew up an only child, being raised by my mom. I always wanted a sister; the closest thing I had was a family friend, but even then we weren't close. I've had a few people who I've been close with and have called them a soul-sister, but I don't know what having a sister or even a sibling really means.

Just before my mom and I were going to leave Ashly's house, Ashly's stepdad said to me, "It's crazy how much you and Ashly look alike." This took me aback. I know Ashly and I looked alike, but I've lived my whole life not looking like anyone. Sure, I've looked like friends and cousins, but we always grew out of looking alike. People have always told me I looked like my mom, but you are supposed to look like your parents. But now, I show people a picture of Ashly and I and they know we are sisters without me telling them.

Ashly and I grew up in very different situations, to say the least. I grew up in a city; she in a small town. I was raised by my mom; she was raised by her mom and stepdad. She had younger sister; I was an only child. Not to mention, I am nine years younger than her and she is married and has a two-year-old boy. We are quite different, but something connects us.

I look at my nephew, who's two, and it's hard for me to think we share the same blood. It's even weirder to look at Ashly and know we share the same DNA - we are genetically linked, not just linked at the heart. Whenever I am with her, I see myself. We are both OCD about organization and we both love old things - something that I never knew where it came from in me. My mom doesn't really have these qualities and I always thought it was something I had learned, not inherited from my dad.

Family can include more people than just who you share DNA with, but something has to be said for sharing a genetic code. I am just learning what having a sister really means. I don't know much about who Ashly is, but from the three times I've been with her, I already feel a pull at the heart when I'm with her. I've felt a connection at the heart with people, but this is new. It's different. For most people, this connection is nothing new, even sometimes frustrating. But for someone who is experiencing this for the first time as an 18-year-old, it's amazing. And I love it. It hits a part in me I never knew I had - it's that automatic connection that isn't based off of interests or personality. It's the simple fact we look alike and have the same blood.

Be grateful for your family, no matter how messed up or crazy it is. You share more than memories. Your family is who made you who you are - not how they raised you, but because of the millions of years of people before you created your specific genetic code that is your personality and appearance. And that's a miracle.

Peace!

-Nicole

Unforeseen Outcomes

1. Purple hair dye is amazing, except when it turns blue.
2. Going home is bittersweet.
3. Red hats are cute.
4. There can be unexpected outcomes.

Sorry for the long period of not posting. It was mid-semester break for us and I spent most of my time doing nothing, so not much was learned. Monday night, though, Megan came over and we dyed a section of her hair purple. The end result ended up being blue instead of purple. We then curled up and watched Let Me In, which is not fun at 2 in the morning. During the movie, Megan kept on staring at her hair. "It's blue!," she would whisper every once in a while, "This is an unexpected outcome!"

I asked her why it was an 'unexpected outcome'. She said not only did the color come out wrong, but she never thought she would ever dye her hair. She then proceeded to tell me that the past two months of us knowing each other has been an unforeseen outcome, which seems to be true.

An unexpected outcome is not necessarily bad nor is it necessarily good; it is simply unexpected. When I met Megan, I tackled her on accident. (See this post for reference.) When I did bring her down, all that was running through my head was, "Oh snap. Now this friendship is never going to work." But then, somehow, our relationship seemed to bloom and quite quickly too. For me, and probably for Megan, our relationship is an unforeseen outcome.

A few days ago, we were talking and Megan put it quite eloquently, "Imagine everyone going around and tackling people. Tackling and being tackled is an intimate experience - it would totally mess with people. It's physical contact before physical contact has been okayed. Who knows, maybe you're a revolutionary?" Now I'm not saying you should go around and start tackling people, although it would be a funny thing to see, but here's my point: life is full of unexpected outcomes. Sometimes they are terrible, but other times, they are amazing.

Instead of panicking and not knowing what to do, accept the fact that life is full of unexpected events and outcomes and keep living. Maybe we should even start to create unexpected outcomes. We often want so much control of our lives, when in reality, we have not much control at all. A lot of our lives are 'controlled' by other people's actions. Which means we have 'power' over other people's lives. So maybe we should go around and start tackling people and see what happens. I think life would be a bit more exciting if suddenly we all started to create situations where the end result is unknown. Living would become more real.

So, maybe tackling isn't such a bad thing.

Peace!

-Nicole

PS Megan is taking a hiatus for today, which is why I'm posting on Wednesday.