My Anxiety's Dismay & My Complete Joy

I just ate so much food. Two plates of Mongolian grill and then a very large bowl of frozen yogurt. Orientation Core 1 made a huge mess of our table (nearing 20 empty plates with 9 of us) and were the loudest people in the whole place, receiving many glares of disdain. I probably used up more gas than I should have to go eat. However, the laughter, the pure joy, and the lessons I got out of the evening were so worth the stomach discomfort and the use of gas.

In the car on the way to get some fro-yo.

As I have mentioned before, this past year has been the hardest year of my life. I lost a lot and felt broken beyond repair; my social anxiety, along with the adjustment back, got the best of me. I was petrified of how senior year would go. I was scared that I would have absolutely no friends, that I would be utterly rejected by a lot of people (and for good reason), and that I would have to muck through my last year in undergrad by myself.

Much to my anxiety's dismay and my complete joy, those predictions I told myself have not come true. Relationships with old friends have been rekindled, even if it was (and continues to be) tough to do. I have made new friends in people I have admired for a good while and I have found a group of people via Orientation who I enjoy being with and who truly give me life. Not to mention, I have a group of first years who I admire for their excitement about starting a new chapter in life.

These past two weeks or so have been a lesson for me: no matter the past or what heartache and anxiety I bring, it is possible to find a new place in old situations. I know Concordia, but I have found a new place to stand in it and more people to stand with. And that is very awesome.

So here is my thanks to all who have been with me the last two weeks in any capacity - even if the only interaction we had was an introduction: I appreciate you all and I hope you know how important you are to me. I truly admire each of you and I hope that there will be more opportunities for my appreciation and admiration to grow. Thank you.

Peace.

-Nicole

Life-Giving

At Concordia, all of the first-year students go through orientation a couple of days before the first day of classes. And at Concordia, orientation is taken very seriously. My orientation experience freshman year was fabulous; it was exhausting, as my first blog posts pointed out, but a great experience. I felt at home and I learned so much about myself and who I wanted to be in college (hence, the blog).

Preparing for Orientation: Round 2 has proved to me yet again the changing experience it can be - for anyone involved. We started training today and I have gained more bruises today than I had all summer from the games we played and I have lost a few pounds from how much I have laughed because of it. I'm doing what I love and I feel like I know what I'm doing, but I know I have a lot to learn and I'm going to learn it. It, as my mother would say, is "living-giving". (Gosh Mom. Your little catch phrases are coming in handy lately.)

As I get older and especially as I enter my final year of undergrad, I am beginning to notice more and more about my reactions and emotions I have when I am in a certain group. There are things that feel like work but then there are those things - like orientation, speech, and theatre - that give so much life to me that I cannot fathom a life without experiences like this.

My last blog post pointed out that doing something life-giving is what I need in my life. And although I have no idea what my career will be or what my plan is for after I graduate in May, days like this prove to me how much my life journey needs these experiences.

Peace!

-Nicole

What Would *insert name* Do?

"God enters by a private door into every individual." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hey, it's Megan.  I hope you have a wonderful week ahead of you.  This post will be a little bit longer because frankly, I need it to be, and I feel these issues are important to our global society as well as my home state of MN--now more than ever.

The subject of interfaith interaction and dialogue has been the topic of the week, starting with the above quotation I stumbled across a few days before moving. It didn't hurt that I love Emerson. Here's a recap of my interfaith activities in the past week. I was blessed to hear Dr. Eboo Patel, founder of the  Interfaith Youth Core and author of Acts of Faith, speak on campus on Thursday during both our convocation as well as a book talk, then on Friday I had my first religion class which felt as glorious as History Channel programming in the early 2000s, and later that night I had a two hour conversation with Malyn (fellow blog writer!) on the intersection of religion and politics.

After reading Acts of Faith, finding that quotation, and hearing Dr. Patel speak, I couldn't help but think about getting more involved with interfaith activities on campus, after all interfaith has always been important to me, especially growing up in a very culturally diverse city where I regularly heard five languages being spoken in the hallways of my high school. I put my thoughts aside on Saturday as I went to dinner with some of my freshman friends. Our conversation turned to the finer differences between Christian denominations.  In short, two people in the conversation grew up with the ELCA, though one in a church that was more traditional than the other, one person grew up in an Evangelical Free church, and then there was me with a background in Catholicism.  After the conversation I realized that those kinds of interactions are precisely what interfaith is all about.  I might not be able to fit another club into my schedule, but at least I know I can participate in interfaith dialogue every time I open up a respectful discussion. Oh, and I went to worship services on Sunday morning and Sunday night.

My heart is heavy though as of late.  A student from Concordia has hit the web running, expressing their view that the ELCA and as a result, Concordia, are too flexible in their acceptance of same-sex relationships and LGBT lifestyles. SAGA, Concordia's Straight And Gay Alliance, of which I am an active member, sells t-shirts that simply say "love is love." on the front as our annual fundraiser.  The shirts are quite popular on campus and in opposition, this student is creating and intending to distribute shirts that say "sin is sin." on the front, along with several bible verses that appear to condemn homosexuality on the back.

I don't know how to feel or react, all I know is I'm sad that we have to navigate this issue. The responses of SAGA and other students have ranged anything from saying "Guess we'll just have to be EXTRA loving :)" to suggesting we make new t-shirts with bible verses about love, to calls to volunteer for Minnesotans United  for All Families to creating a "Concordia Votes No" facebook event.  My question is where does interfaith fit into this situation?  How do we create a productive dialogue when we know each side probably won't be swayed and it honestly feels like we're speaking completely different languages.  One side says they are showing love by accepting people for who they are and another side says they are showing love by trying to prevent someone from living in a sinful way. It is honestly difficult for me to extend a hand of peace when these sorts of attitudes are, as my friend puts it, a stepping stone towards violence and other extreme reactions towards LGBT individuals. Nothing worth doing is ever easy though I suppose. So, campus is now dealing with this in addition to the MN marriage amendment with clearly religious undertones. We're busy.

My heart is heavy.  Mostly because I've spent a decent chunk of the last few years fighting for equality and acceptance on behalf of my friends and family.  It can be sometimes hard to see the progress or avoid discouragement when the setbacks hit so close to home.

I'll end with this.  During Dr. Patel's book talk, he told us we are only as loud as the noise we make.  It is our job to be loud when it comes to interfaith cooperation and in this case, love and acceptance of our fellow humans.  Those who feel God condemns homosexuality and LGBT individuals as sinful have spoken loudly, I hope those of us who oppose those sentiments can raise our own voices with tones of peace and love to a level of equal or greater volume. I have faith we will rise to the challenge.

I wish you a peaceful week.

-Megan