Note: Touch

My friend Sally came up to me the other day and flat out said, "You have a people-touching problem." See, I have this weird quirk where I need to have physical contact with someone when I am around them. Don't take this the wrong way; I mean simple, light, innocent touch - like arm to arm or palm to palm. It's not romantic nor is it to gain something. I am constantly touching my friends - whether it be poking them, making them run into me, or sitting close to them. Most of the time is ok, but other times, my friends turn to me and say, "You have a people-touching problem."

I have no idea why I love innocent physical human contact so much. Maybe it's because I didn't get enough when I was younger. Maybe it's because I was too afraid of being hurt. Maybe I felt I would be rejected. Who knows. But I do know that now, all I want is touch that has no point other than to feel another person's pulse and warmth against mine. I need to know that people are real. I want to know that my heart is not the only one beating in the world.

Why is it such taboo to hold someone's hand that isn't your romantic partner? Where along the line of things did holding hands become specific to romantic partners? I love to hold hands - the feeling of immediate connection and being able to feel their pulse. I can talk to someone, but sometimes I feel like I am so far removed from them that I can't relate to them. But putting my hand in theirs, they become real and human. It is a reassuring squeeze of the hand.

The benefits of human contact is immense. A baby needs to be held to know they are safe. Their mother's heartbeat is something that will calm a fussy baby easily, but that cannot be done unless the baby is near the mother's chest. Even now, when I'm feeling lonely or sad, a hug makes it better.

I may not know the science behind it, but I know for me, touch is what really connects us with each other. You truly cannot know if someone is real and solid or just an image unless you touch them. Once you touch them, they become real. Think of movies when a couple or two friends see each other for the first time in years. They slowly approach each other and put a hand somewhere on the person (face, shoulder, arm, etc.). They need to know they are real and they simply aren't a mirage.

We all need to know we are not alone in this universe. Sometimes words aren't enough to keep us sane; sometimes holding someone's hand keeps us grounded.

Let yourself touch and be touched - emotionally and physically. It's innocent and absolutely lovely.

Peace!

-Nicole