The Positive Past

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” -Søren Kierkegaard

The past can suck. Well, okay actually parts of the past can suck, but there are a ton of positive things as well. Here's an example:

If there's one thing I'm proud of, it's my social network: the people I have surrounded myself with for the past 7 or so years. From middle school on up I have been allowed to influence, and have been influenced by the most incredible circle of people, and over the last few weeks I bit a rather specific sort of bullet and chose to reconnect as much as I could with individuals I had lost some closeness with. I talked to pals from high school, my various friend groups, old teachers, and some others. I count myself very lucky to have all of them, not because of any action on my part, but because of everything on their part.

The past... it can be difficult, but it influences your present whether you like it or not. It is completely in your control however, how and where that influence comes into play--for positive or for negative. For me, my experiences with all these people have helped to lay the foundation for my current self, and so when I made all these re-connections, I was simply hoping that these people remembered me with the same fondness that I remembered them.

What I walked away with was the realization that even though we hadn't spoken in a while, or there had been past misunderstandings and miss-communications, there was still so much positive history that when push came to shove, a reciprocated friendship and understanding still remained. By nature, humans are pro-social, working for the benefit of each other most of the time, and it leaves a mark. So all those times when maybe you took someone aside in an empty hallway so they could tell you how they were feeling, all those times you crowded into a van and solved the world's problems, all those times you let yourself be vulnerable in a piece of writing, or even those times when you got into a car together and didn't know where you'd end up or when you'd be back... all those shared experiences aren't meaningless. When I reached out to those connections with something like, "Is it ok if I talk with you for a little bit? because I'm hurting and I feel helpless and I need some reassurance to help me get through this." The response I got was nothing short of an incredible resurgence of all of that past positive regard and those positive experiences.

My friends, my family, my mentors, and my random acquaintances showed me love and support impossible to measure. They came through for me, just like I needed them to. I have faith in them no doubt, but maybe more importantly, they have faith in me. They told me again and again that I knew what was best for me, and that I knew what was right. It's not necessarily so much what our connections do for us, but what they teach us to do for ourselves that stands the ultimate test of time. How lucky I am then, to have both beautiful experiences. Through all those many many many conversations, re-connections  and essentially trust falls, I now know with everything in me, that I'm doing the right thing. I am in a beautiful situation, and I'm in a wonderful place in my life.

As my high school poetry teacher recently told me,
"Trust yourself. Trust love."

-Megan

Reading Lips

Have you seen this video? This video proves that Michelle Obama is the queen of everything. But putting that fact aside, a professional lip reader decoded what had been said between the President and Boehner (check out what went on here). The idea someone could learn to read lips professionally blows my mind. It's now on my list of "Jobs I Wish I Had, But Never Will Get the Chance to Do."

This video reminds me of the Bad Lip Reading things on Youtube. (Check them out. They are pretty funny.) If I were to try to lip-read the video above - let alone anything - it would be a huge disaster. Boehner would end up talking about overthrowing Obama's power and Michelle would join him. I would be putting words into his mouth that are far from the truth.

This week, I've discovered I can't speak for people. I cannot say that this is what they said and this is what they think. It's like the game of telephone - words get messed up and lost in translation. It is the basic lesson about gossip for me, although it seems less like gossip and more like me trying to get my way. Although I wish I could say this person thinks that because of this reason, it is often far from their truth. They see their life differently than I see theirs and in the end, it is their life and their story to tell, not mine. And I can only hope they understand that my life and my story are mine and mine to tell.

No matter how tempted I am to read lips or create stories that fit the little bits of information I know, I have to understand that the outcome is going to be as ridiculous as thinking Boehner is trying to overthrow Obama.

Peace!

-Nicole

Greatness in Context

"There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies." -Martin Luther King Jr.

So if there's a recent theme for me, it's that concepts and understanding change vastly over time. Unfortunately, that change doesn't always happen in the span of a single life and we, as finite beings are really only able to work within our own context and with the information available to us. Context is key. For example, I'm taking a course on society and human sexuality currently for my WS minor, and so far I've learned that in antiquity, the concept of two sexes did not exist. There was only one sex, the male, and the inferior male. The concept of "sexuality" or "sexual orientation" did not exist in regards to it being an aspect of an individual identity, and here's the kicker, heterosexuality originally held a very negative connotation. It was conceptualized to regard one of hyper-sexual tendencies which would lead to "sexual perversion." As you can see, concepts and understanding change over time.

It's MLK Jr. Day, a pretty big event on campus, and one I enjoy since I do consider myself a fan of MLK Jr's philosophies and teachings. Imagine my despair then, when I went to a concurrent session that revealed MLK Jr's possible anti-gay marriage/rights stance, based on statements from his children, as well as his own responses to questions regarding homosexuality. Martin Luther King Jr. was a champion for civil rights. I admire him, his philosophies, and his ability to galvanize and inspire a generation to act in non-violent protest. I think I always will, but I still felt unhappy today. After discussing it all with fellow students, the consensus was reached that MLK Jr. might have held different views if he was exposed to the same information and experiences we have at our very fingertips.

So my conclusion is to understand that people think and behave according to what they know. In the 60's, homosexuality was conceptualized as being characteristic of pedophilia and sociopathic tendencies. It was probably the majority view, simply due to the information and communication of the time. Taking MLK Jr. out of his context and placing it in mine might have different results. Perhaps this is a tangent, but he was also human. I know that gets lost in the rhetoric surrounding how much good he did, but humans sometimes think and act in ways unbecoming of their true nature. A person's behavior does not always reveal their character--that's not to condone it, but to understand that judging a person's behavior and judging a person's character are two different things. Heck I think it was even Martin Luther who said good deeds to not necessarily make a person good and bad deeds do not necessarily make a person bad. (You can correct me if I'm wrong.)

The lesson I learned from all of this?  Patience. Patience with the acquisition of new information and the evolution of concepts, patience with other people and how they interact with information, and patience with my own emotions and reactions.

Peace, love, and especially WARMTH to all of you.

-Megan

Friendship is Magic?

1. Emergency rooms are better with friends

2. "Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one simply remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore

3. As My Little Pony would have it, friendship is, indeed, magic.

 Hey! It's Malyn again. This week has been quite eventful and interesting....

It all started with an emergency room visit. On Tuesday, my roommate broke her rib during taikwondo practice - it hurt that night, but worsened even more the next evening to a really bad and scary level. So  my friend and I drove her to the ER. 

Now, I haven't had many good experiences with hospitals - most times I've been to one, it's because someone's dying or going into major scary surgery. So I was pretty freaked out...my roommate and best friend was in terrible pain and we were in a hospital. But then something wonderful happened: In an attempt to keep her mind off the pain, we began talking, which led to laughing and joking. And suddenly the whole situation was a lot less frightening (update: she's doing okay - it was broken but not too badly, and they gave her Valium pills). Friendship took away the fear, and I also realized that they would have done the same thing for me if I had broken my rib, which was a beautiful feeling. 

And then last night I played Apples to Apples with several friends that I hadn't seen in way too long - It was as hilarious as ever. I am so blessed with all of this friend-love and support. 

Thank you everyone for making Concordia home for me!

Have a lovely, healthy, and happy week!

-Malyn

Breaking Points & Super Powers

I'm sensing a theme in my life lately. If my life was a book, the reader would almost scoff at how obvious this recurring theme is. This theme is busyness. My schedule yet again looks like a kid playing with colored blocks. I thought I could handle it; five classes, two jobs, a play, two radio shows, and growing relationships. After a pretty lazy month, I was glad to be busy again.

I went to the first few days of class last week, excited for everything. But, my hours for both of my jobs started to increase and a few classes (if not all) proved to be much more difficult than I had planned on. "Oh well," I thought, "I can so handle this. I've done it before; I just need to get into a routine." After three days, though, I finally admitted to myself what I should have known all along: I am not Superwoman. However much I would like to think so, I have breaking points. Sometimes the most awesome thing ever may not be the best thing for me. Maybe that 400-level course isn't such a great idea this semester; maybe working 20 hours - even if I do finish by 5pm each day - will push me beyond my limits. I have a breaking point; I should acknowledge it and do this to avoid getting to that point.

I have a theme in my life, yes. But the conflict and resolution of such a theme may not always have to be the same. The conflict doesn't have to be a full out war against myself; it can instead be me against the forces of evil in the world. Maybe in that sense, I'm Superwoman, but I think I'll try to stay away from thinking I have super powers. 'Cause last time I checked, I can't walk through doors or fly across campus.

Peace!

-Nicole

The Unlucky Year

Happy New Year everyone! May 2013 treat you well. Or maybe I should say, may you treat 2013 well.

My uncle Rich posted this on his Facebook last night:

I don't like 'happy' anything. It's related to the word 'happen' and 'happenstance.' It has to do with what happens to you... something you cannot control. I like 'joyous' a lot better. Joy can happen in the midst of heartbreak for people who choose to set their own course, make things happen, and remain unswerving in hope while the world appears to assail them. Joy is fixed on the timeless, whereas happiness is fixed on the moment. You can either happen to life, or it can happen to you. Joyous new year.

I am beginning to understand this more. The past month has felt like the most unlucky period of my life and I have wanted to give up multiple times. Yet in the midst of the horridness of it all, I have found myself to grow in peace and understanding. Like my uncle said, happiness is fixed on the moment - it cannot keep growing and building. Although I am not particularly thankful for this past month, I do see the good in it. Relationships have grown where I didn't expect them to and I have found a strength in me and especially in those around me.

The number 13 seems to be culturally unlucky. Friday the 13th was the biggest omen in the world when I was in elementary school. 13 is a terrible number to work with in math and buildings sometimes won't even have a 13th floor. I am expecting people to be fearful of 2013. Heck, Friday September 13th may well be the worst day ever. I have always believed what you think determines your reality. I believe if I go into a situation with positive thoughts, the outcome will be better. I can handle negative results better and I can keep on going. Positive thoughts bring about positive feelings.

As I continue into this new year, I'm going to treat 2013 well. My uncle said it well when he wrote about how joy comes out of those situations in which we make things happen. Work with time, don't try to go against it. 2013 isn't trying to go against us all; time is never against us - only if we see it that way. Make things happen and create joy.

May you treat 2013 well.

Peace!

-Nicole