Aventura

I just got a tattoo. I decided before I left for Spain that I would most definitely get a tattoo during my study abroad. My cousin Kathryn, who studied in Segovia five years ago, got one of her first tattoos in Spain, so why not me? So, on Monday, I walked to a tattoo parlor and laid on a table for 7 minutes and there it was, a very permanent thing of ink on my left calf.

The word is "aventura" which translates to "adventure". The word adventure has been following me since the day I got to college. Heck, it was even said in the first sentence of my first blog post. And my fortune cookie spoke to me about a great adventure and change just before I left. "Adventure is out there," says the movie Up.

Just before I got my tattoo, I thought a lot about what qualifies an adventure. When I was younger, I thought it was about doing things that people would find extraordinary; things that would cause a ruckus if I told people about it. But recently, the definition has changed for me. It has become more about changing my perspective on the world and changing who I am in it. When I got to Spain, my adventure was adjusting to life. It definitely had been done before and it isn't anything too extraordinary - something most people wouldn't consider an adventure. However, to me, it was one of the hardest adventures I've ever gone through. It was new to me - new emotions, new people, new language - and I came out as a slightly different person, with a new perspective on life in Spain.

Adventure doesn't have to adhere to any standards except your own. I had an adventure last week roaming around a part of Sevilla I hadn't yet seen. It wasn't grand, it was the funnest things I've ever done, but at the end, I had learned something new about the city I have been living in for a couple of months and I discovered that I have so much more to explore in Sevilla.

The quotation, "Adventure is out there" is very, very true. One just has to look for it. And maybe get a tattoo to remind them of it.

Peace!

Nicole

In Chefchaouen, Morocco

I rode a camel in the pouring rain.

My mother, who recently visited, and me in Granda.

During Semana Santa in Sevilla

Adventure in the Expo area of Sevilla. Who knew?

Feeling at Home

As I was sitting on my computer this afternoon, I had a very odd thought cross my mind: I'm glad I'm home. I stayed out pretty late last night, as is normal in Spain, and so it was nice to be in my room, relaxing. But what was odd about it is that I referred to this small apartment I once hated be in as my home.

When got to Sevilla, I refused to call this small apartment "home". I only referred to it as "the apartment" or "Ana's place" (Ana is my host mom). I was so miserable and wishing I could go home that I did not want to adjust to the differences of my living situations. I knew I could adjust; I just didn't want to. Adjusting meant I was here for a while and it meant that I had to make a life for myself here.

Let's just say I've come a long way. I am now thoroughly enjoying my time in Spain. I've stopped counting the days I've been in Spain. I finally put up my pictures I brought with on my bulletin board (the photos don't make me sad anymore). I have a bus pass and I know the system pretty well. I have my favorite places to shop and my favorite places to hang out. I've discovered that Spanish coffee makes my heart feel like it's about to explode and that I should probably stick to tea. Heck, I even made friends.

So I'm home. I have fallen in love with Spain and what it has to offer. Looking at my calendar, I'm starting to feel like there isn't enough time here. So, I guess I should starting living it large, right?

Peace!

-Nicole

Here are some photos from the past few weeks.

Roaming around Aracena

In Granada

Cathedral in Sevilla

Cathedral in Córdoba

Time Won't Go to Waste

My first week here in Spain was anything but perfect. Yes, I enjoyed my first few days of class, but nothing else felt right. I had the usual complaints: my feet hurt from all the walking, I knew nobody in the program, the food was new. Those things I knew I could soon get over. But, as some know, I have social anxiety. For the past few years, I have been in therapy and have had it well controlled. However, when I got to Spain, any little thing that didn't fit my usual pattern made me quite uncomfortable and beyond anxious. Normally, I know what to do - talk to someone I trust, make an appointment with my psychologist, jump into activities. But here, I had no idea what to do. I couldn't talk to anyone I trusted, because there was no one. I could call someone back home, but phone calls are expensive and I didn't have internet at my host home to Skype anyone. I also couldn't make an appointment because, well, I'm in Spain. And there were no activities to speak of and no one I could do things with.

I knew the first week would be rough - it always is, no matter where you are. The same thing happened to me last summer when I started to work at camp. This 'being uncomfortable' thing was not new. But what really got me was my anxiety. I eventually called my mom and talked with people who work at the Center. After a few days of planning and a few more days of adjusting, things are better.

Discomfort is easy to handle by oneself, which is why I think trips are easy to do. A study abroad, however, goes beyond discomfort. Granted, I have anxiety, but I still believe everyone has that one thing that makes it harder.

I have discovered something new: what was a great plan for one thing may be terrible for another. I had come in with the plan of jumping into things, which is what I usually do, but found it to be a terrible idea. My friend Malyn gave me some of the best advice: "Start small. It's okay not to be okay sometimes. Do whatever feels good to you - don't feel pressure to 'make the most of it'... [time] won't go to waste."

So although my first week was terrible, it wasn't wasted time. Yes, I still have to say to myself, "You made it 10 days!" but those are 10 days I proved to myself that I can do this. 10 days I stuck to my adventure. And I will only have more.

Peace, friends.

-Nicole