How To: Listen (And Sometimes Talk)

Steps:
1. Be patient.
2. Only talk when whoever is talking has finished their thought.
3. When you do talk, keep it to a limit. Only say things that are direct and things that don't put down.

When I was little, people always said I was a good listener. And in my opinion, I was. I could sit for hours and listen to people talk about anything and everything. I enjoyed hearing other's views on things and I didn't find it necessary to make my own opinion be heard. This also translated into my relationships with friends. Very rarely would I know a solution to a situation, but somehow just by listening and telling them my truth, it seemed to work out. Now that I'm a bit older, it has been flipped just a bit. I tend to want to have people know my opinion or if someone is in need of help, I talk more than is necessary.

The past few weeks, I have sought out some advice and someone to listen to me because things have come up in my life. I've discovered that more often than not, I knew the solution to the problem. What made me realize that solution was not always because of the person's words, but it was their attentiveness. They may have thought of solutions to the problems, but they refrained from telling me because I probably wouldn't have listened. What works for them, wouldn't work for me. A little direction is always helpful, but when they did give direction, it was never a command.

I've also discovered that when someone listens to me rant/complain/cry and they just allow me to do so, I begin to hear myself. I hear how ridiculous and irrational the words that are coming out of my mouth are. "Silence speaks more than words and actions" has been my rule of thumb when it comes to acting serious pieces/scenes. It gives the audience time to take the words spoken and process them. The silence is a breath, something to bring you back to the present. My mom always tells trip chaperons that during small group discussions, don't be afraid of silence. Know the kids are thinking and if they come up with an answer, it will be much more beneficial than you just giving them your answer. Silence in a conversation makes you think harder and figure things out.

Listening - it seems to be a lost art. But to those who have helped me through rough times and to anyone who has helped anyone, thanks for listening.

Peace!

-Nicole

Fairy Dust

1. Finding an on-campus job is difficult.

2. Don't leave 8-10 page papers to the last minute.

3. Christmas gifts are hard to think of.

4. Think happy thoughts and the fairy dust will do the rest.

A lot has gone wrong in the past two days. First off, I procrastinated a 8-10 page paper until last night and it wasn't simply a analytical paper; it was a research paper on the use and effectiveness of meditation in anxiety treatment. I had all of my research done, but I had to paraphrase, use, and weave together 14 sources eloquently. I didn't really start the paper until about 8pm last night and I didn't finish it until 2:30am. Then I had to get up at 6:45.

Second, I spilled tea all over my desk. I save my computer, but my case now smells like mint tea.

Third,  I opened my email inbox yesterday and there, waiting for me to read, was an email telling me if I got an on-campus job. I read it and turns out I didn't get it. This is the third for fourth job I applied to and didn't get. I felt so defeated and quite angry that I still didn't have a job. I'm mean, come on! I am a hard worker and I am super organized and quite personal.

Fourth, because it's Christmas concert season and the semester is coming to a close, every single one of my friends has a different schedule from each other...so we haven't seen much of each other. Although I see them nearly every day, I still miss the contact I get.

A lot has gone wrong. But, then again, a lot has gone right. I got a Subway gift card in the mail from a foundation that gave me a scholarship, I got a washing machine right away tonight, I got to wear my costume for the first time for the 10 minute scene I'm in, and one of my good friends from high school who I haven't seen since mid-summer might be coming to stay with me for a few days.

We tend to focus on the terrible things of a day. Bad energy, like all energy, is contagious. And bad energy requires less of us - it's easy to succumb to. If we let the bad things get us down, we tend to stay down because, well, sometimes it's easier to complain than it is to smile.

But smiling isn't all that hard. "You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air," as said by Wendy in Peter Pan. Good energy breeds good energy. It picks you up off your feet and gives you a little nudge to keep on going.

So don't let bad thoughts bring you down because then you can't fly. And who doesn't want to do that?

Peace!

-Nicole