Peace Be With You

I have been feeling stressed lately, more than I have felt in a while. The stressors I'm experiencing aren't ones that quickly pass through - they build and require some stamina. My body has been showing signs of it - some weight loss, breaking out, sore throat, sore legs, and emotional exhaustion. I can't help but wish to disengage and hope everything will pass (which of course, will not be helpful). I have been trying to figure out what I need to get through it all. Support, rest, and most of all, peace.

When I started this blog, I ended my first post with "Peace!" because I had no idea how to end a post. But as time has passed, I'm glad I finished that first post with such a word. It has come to represent so much in my life. Peace is what I have discovered is most helpful in stressful situations. In my class on Buddhism, it was one of the main focuses - to center myself and find peace within me. I have discovered peace is best when found in myself. It is true and honest to me and I know it stems from something I believe in, although I may never find what that is. I guess one could call it my "true self" but to me, I am always changing. The one thing that stays constant is peace found within myself.

Life has been loud lately. The political ads, the campaign calls, and the debates between everyone. Being on a campus where politics is pretty central, it gets extremely loud. I loved participating in the politics and developing my own voice, but right now, I'm glad to have some silence and most of all, peace. Maybe that is what will connect us all in the end - peace. The idea of peace everyone agrees about. Conflict may be necessary, but what is the point of conflict if there is no goal of peace?

Today, I am going to find peace in me. I am going to see peace in others and find some common ground. I believe we all have it - we just need to see it once again.

Peace.

-Nicole

How To: Listen (And Sometimes Talk)

Steps:
1. Be patient.
2. Only talk when whoever is talking has finished their thought.
3. When you do talk, keep it to a limit. Only say things that are direct and things that don't put down.

When I was little, people always said I was a good listener. And in my opinion, I was. I could sit for hours and listen to people talk about anything and everything. I enjoyed hearing other's views on things and I didn't find it necessary to make my own opinion be heard. This also translated into my relationships with friends. Very rarely would I know a solution to a situation, but somehow just by listening and telling them my truth, it seemed to work out. Now that I'm a bit older, it has been flipped just a bit. I tend to want to have people know my opinion or if someone is in need of help, I talk more than is necessary.

The past few weeks, I have sought out some advice and someone to listen to me because things have come up in my life. I've discovered that more often than not, I knew the solution to the problem. What made me realize that solution was not always because of the person's words, but it was their attentiveness. They may have thought of solutions to the problems, but they refrained from telling me because I probably wouldn't have listened. What works for them, wouldn't work for me. A little direction is always helpful, but when they did give direction, it was never a command.

I've also discovered that when someone listens to me rant/complain/cry and they just allow me to do so, I begin to hear myself. I hear how ridiculous and irrational the words that are coming out of my mouth are. "Silence speaks more than words and actions" has been my rule of thumb when it comes to acting serious pieces/scenes. It gives the audience time to take the words spoken and process them. The silence is a breath, something to bring you back to the present. My mom always tells trip chaperons that during small group discussions, don't be afraid of silence. Know the kids are thinking and if they come up with an answer, it will be much more beneficial than you just giving them your answer. Silence in a conversation makes you think harder and figure things out.

Listening - it seems to be a lost art. But to those who have helped me through rough times and to anyone who has helped anyone, thanks for listening.

Peace!

-Nicole

Flying Solo... with bruises

1. Don't start papers at 11 pm.
2. Eat something.
3. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your own comfort for someone else.
4. Your professor will make a meeting go 30 minutes over.

Hey guys, Megan here.  Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I'm kind of in the middle of a family emergency and I was figuring out a bunch of logistical things.  I finally have a moment to sit down and relax--there's not a whole lot of work I am willing to do right now anyways.  So the big news is that Nicole and I will be leaving at 7am tomorrow for a conference in Iowa and we'll be getting back Sunday night, after which I'll be leaving to go home around 1pm on Monday and getting back on Tuesday night.  I guess I'll just be living out of a suitcase for the next five days.

Flying Solo was the name of my yearbook junior year, and it was by far my most difficult, due to the fact that I was dealing with a lot of things at the time as well as tough classes, but it was also really, really enjoyable.  I discovered a lot about myself and I also took my first psych and poetry classes... now I'm a psych major with a possible English writing minor, so I guess things worked out.

In case you didn't know, I'm now living alone, essentially flying solo.  My roommate transferred to the University of Nebraska--Omaha, and she tells me she's loving it and that it's exactly where she's supposed to be.  It also puts her closer to her friends, boyfriend, and family which is really cool.  I still miss her a lot though.  I think roommates share a really unique bond that comes with the somewhat terrifying experience of going off to college.  I see it a lot, especially with the floor that adopted me.  Melissa and her roommate are perfect together!  It's actually really fun to see them interact.  My roommate and I got along well and we had some really great discussions about anything and everything, and I miss that.  One of my favorite stories is when I dropped something or did something clumsy and my roommate said to me, "You know... sometimes I wake up and I have bruises that I don't know where they came from, and I feel like that's kind of like your life sometimes."  There are tons and tons of quotations like that.

Sure, it's nice to live alone sometimes, but I miss having a roommate--mine was always someone welcoming to come home to.  My room is a little more sterile feeling these days.  In a way, she was part of what I wanted out of the college experience.  She provided me with a different outlook on EVERYTHING!  Her life has been completely different than mine and I got loads of new perspective just by listening to her stories.  She made me reconsider things I probably needed to.  I miss her sometimes, especially just the sound of her skyping her boyfriend or the way she looked like she wanted to murder someone in the mornings. :P We are definitely not morning people. I'd gotten used to falling asleep to her talking and the lights on and now the silence bothers me sometimes.  I couldn't sleep at all on my first night back. 

So, I miss her.  Adjusting to living alone is a lot of getting in the mindset that being alone shouldn't be a cause of loneliness, but rather a source of solitude, and I'm getting there.  I've also been lucky enough to be adopted by Nicole, Melissa, and Sally's floor.  Everyone there has been so kind and welcoming to me that they've been like a family to me.  I have no idea what I'd do without them.  So I guess I'm not really flying solo after all, am I?

Peace and be well.  Maybe Nicole will blog from Iowa...

-Megan