Change, People, and Self

Welcome back to Dorm Room 718! It is now junior year and goodness, have the changes been great. I am no longer a theatre major and am instead a psychology major. I have added two more minors besides Spanish (religion and women's studies). Speaking of that Spanish minor, I will be in Spain this coming Spring for a study away program. I've had two different summer jobs, both working with children. I now live in an apartment with my freshman floor-mate Melissa. My niece and nephew are no longer babies, but instead toddlers. I hold two jobs and am involved in multiple on-campus clubs. Change is good, but sometimes it looks a bit different than expected.

I've always thought of myself as innocent and positive. Sometimes it had a bad connotation and sometimes it was a fabulous descriptor. No matter what meaning it held, I still thought of myself as innocent. Someone close to my heart told me last night that recently, they had failed to see that innocence and that I've become almost... cynical. They have missed the part of me that saw the best in people and if I did see something no so favorable, I didn't focus on it or bring it up. The more I thought about their words, the more it seemed to ring true. Yes, I have started to fail to see the good in people and I immediately believe the bad. The cause and root of this, though, I cannot seem to figure out.

My last year has been an odd one. I have said before I strive to be the one who is always growing in who she is. It seems I have not been able to say that in the last year. Important relationships have changed and become strained and my summer job as a camp counselor has challenged how I interact with people and life situations. I have discovered my limitations and shortcomings instead of my strengths. This isn't to say finding out such limitations and shortcomings is a terrible thing, but it is a bit of a downer after a long period of time.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I have failed to see the good in myself, which causes me to skip over the good in others. I have always said I'm a people-person and I thrive off of human interaction. Rather than thrive, I seem to diminish in who I am. I am still not sure what will remedy this undesirable change and maybe all I need is time, but it can't but help my situation if I actively search out a solution.

Until next,

peace.

-Nicole

Leap of Faith

1. Jumping off telephone poles is actually kinda fun.
2. Know your limits.
3. Remember that there are always people who support you.

Hey! This is Malyn, and I’m super excited that this is my first post!

Last weekend I went with the Campus Ministry Commission to do a high ropes course, as a team building exercise.  Now, you may be thinking that sounds like fun, but I went to one back in seventh grade - with the entire class. At that time I was not only afraid of heights but had terrible balance, and it was the most humiliating and embarrassing thing I’d ever done.

So when I heard that CMC would be going to do high ropes, I was naturally a bit terrified.

But I went anyway, and realized that because I was with an entirely supportive and nonjudgmental group, it was so much easier.  They realized that I wasn’t weak or dumb, and that I simply had different strengths.  When I was unable to continue at one point, they accepted it – and so did I.  In seventh grade, I had forced myself to do parts of the course that I knew were terrifying for me, and that led to an emotional breakdown 30 feet off the ground.  This time, I knew my limits and that some things just weren’t meant to be.

At the end, we climbed up a telephone pole – and jumped off.  It was a beautiful moment for me, knowing that I COULD do what I thought I couldn’t, and knowing that everyone below was as happy for me as I was.

This year, as I dive into the political world (my major!) I will remember that it’s okay to not always be on top of things, and that sometimes all there is to do is take a giant leap of faith – literal or metaphorical.

Peace, and have a fabulous week!

-Malyn

Free Hugs!

1. Flying through assignments is always a good feeling.
2. Discovering you can go home a day early for break is awesome.
3. Don't do weird accents during class...you might be heard.
4. Hugs. Are. Beautiful.

"Hugging is a beautiful Western custom...When you hug...if you breathe in and out three times, your happiness will be multiplied at least tenfold." - Thich Nhat Hanh

This quotation is from the book Peace Is Every Step, which I am reading for my Buddhism & meditation class. When I got to class today, I wasn't fully prepared. I had only read half of the text and I wasn't too excited to be there in the first place. But then we started to discuss the text. Someone pointed out a section entitled "Hugging Meditation". This caught my attention.

Megan gives the best hugs. If you ever come to see us, ask her for a hug. I think I ask her for a hug at least two or three times a day. Your mood tends to become happier. This is pretty much true of all good hugs. Whenever I was having a bad night and I was an emotional wreck, a hug from my mom always made it a bit better. Or even we were kids. If we fell down or someone hurt us, a hug would tend to make it better. Hugs are the magical medicine.

Not all hugs have been great. Take the example of the kids I babysat. I have known them for nearly half their lives and whenever I see them, they give me a hug...but it's lame. It's half hearted, distracted, and weak. Thich Nhat Hanh says, "If you are distracted, thinking about other things, your hug will be distracted also, not very deep, and you may not enjoy hugging very much." True, ain't it? I always make the kids re-hug me and then they get it right.

Which leads me to think, why do we give weak hugs? I think part of it is that we are distracted, but I think it is because we don't realize how much of an effect we can have on people through our actions. A hug is a very simple thing; so is holding the door open or helping someone pick up something they dropped. But it can make or break a person's day.... "Actions speak louder than words."

Put all of yourself into whatever you're doing. Nhat Hanh talks about a parent ignoring their daughter. If they turn their focus on her, they become a real person. And, "when you become a real person, your daughter becomes real also. She is a wondrous presence, and a real encounter with life is possible at the moment. If you hold her in your arms and breathe, you will awaken to the preciousness of your loved one, and life is."

So the next time you hug someone, be there, not distracted by other things. You never know how long they will be there nor do you know how it is affecting them. And you never know, it might have an effect on you.

Peace!

-Nicole

PS You can now comment on the list of simple pleasures....so please let me know what to add!

Defy Gravity

Note from Nicole: Yes, we do seem to like the musical Wicked. It's a good theme to go with.

Melissa here. This is my first official blog post on here, so bear with me. I'm gonna post random stuff, and then elaborate on it all. Make sense? I hope so.

1. Study breaks are good. You know it's gone bad when you start reading words for other words that aren't that word... yeah.

Studying is not a good time. But, when you misread a word for a different word and tell your friends about it, it can be quite the amusing time. Let's just say I'm special. Also, sunflower seeds for me make EVERYTHING better. Especially studying.

2. Friends are awesome.

The friends I've made here are wonderful, and I feel so lucky to have found them. With me is one of my friends from high school, and I'm so glad I have her here with me. She's my safety blanket, and I'd be lost without her. I've managed to make new friends, too, and each and everyone one of them is amazing in their own way. I've managed to meet my twin (HI, NICOLE!), fellow Gleeks, Potterheads, Starkids, choir nerds, etc. It's kinda blowing my mind how awesome people are. I'm so excited to make some life-long friendships with some truly awesome people.

3. Sometimes, it's okay to be in a total state of confusion.

Finishing up my third week of classes, I've come to realize that they're not what I expected them to be, and I'm completely okay with that. My freshman inquiry seminar is called "gendered performance." It makes my brain hurt, it makes me totally confused, and it makes me question everything I know (or thought I knew) about gender, and I LOVE IT. I want to learn more, I want to know about all the different theories, and I want to hear other points of view. It's one of the first times that I really, really, REALLY want to learn. And it's a fabulous feeling. I'm actually excited to write my paper for this class, and it's one of the few times I've felt like this. It's wonderful.

4. Defy gravity.

Last week I was really struggling. I was constantly in a state of unhappiness, and I couldn't figure out exactly why. I just felt numb. I'm not sure how exactly I got myself out of the shlump (probably the amazing friends I talked about earlier), but now I don't want to let myself get back there. I've struggled with bouts of depression all throughout high school, and I want college to be that turning point. The time where I be myself, and I'm happy with myself, and I don't let anything stop me. In high school, I was sometimes afraid to just be myself and not worry about what others thought. I always thought I wasn't good enough, I was hard on myself, and at times, I was my own worst enemy. Now that I'm in college where no one knows who I am, was, or want to be, it's like a fresh slate has been handed to me, and I can do whatever I want. And that's exactly what I'm going to do, and it makes me so excited. It'll be difficult at times, but it's a new opportunity. Life is full of these opportunities and I have finally taken it.

It's my time to defy gravity. (I'm so cliché and cheesy. It doesn't help that "Defying Gravity" is the song Nicole and I will hopefully be singing for the freshman showcase, and the song is stuck in my head).

Yay for being cheesy. It's what I do best. That, and being awkward...

Aww yeah.

-Melissa

Living Among the Great

1. The symposium is never too fun at 8:30 in the morning.

2. Bring a coat to college, even if it is only the middle of September.

3. When you get a text saying, "My dorm was evacuated and firetrucks are coming" and then you hear sirens outside your window, something must have gone wrong.

4. I am living amongst 'the great'.

Woke up this morning at 7:15. Gross huh? I sat through some super interesting (and sometimes boring) sessions for the symposium. All-in-all it was a fantastic experience and I learned a ton. (I will be posting some interesting facts and quotations soon.)

I realized something: I am living among some of the greatest people ever. And this is true in two ways. One is these people are fantastic. Just fantastic. They make me laugh maybe a little too much to be productive, they make me do crazy, weird things, and they also make me learn. The people here are fantastic and absolutely can be considered 'one of the greats'.

But this also something else. Whenever I meet someone really cool (which seems to be occurring quite often lately) and I learn a bit more about them, I suddenly get the feeling that in 10/15/20 years I will be watching the news or reading the paper when I see their name for doing something amazing. I feel like I am living among future famous or world-changing people.

For example:

- A few months ago, I met an up-and-coming TV star, who also wants to be a political leader someday.

- I met an amazing poet who will definitely do something someday. Not to mention she has an amazing heart for the world, though she might not know it. (Maybe if I can convince her, she might let me post a poem or two on here). 

- I met a girl with such a bubbly personality who isn't afraid to tell it like it is. She isn't afraid to show her emotion in a world where emotions are often looked down upon. (Plus we are so alike it is very freaky.) I just know she will end up on my list of 'Oh I knew them when...'

These are just a few people I have met. I have a theory that every single dang person out there is able to change their world. Though I can't tell what is going to happen in the future, I just have a feeling I am among people who will change the world, even if that change is small. No change is a small change.

I truly am among the great. I am so dang happy because of it.

As for me and my 'greatness', I guess we will just have to see what comes my way.

Peace!

-Nicole