Try, just a little.

1. Smile. It makes life a little better.
2. Take notes. You never know when the cute guy next to you will need to copy them. ;D
3. Do NOT get overwhelmed.

So, hi. :)

Today I started my first actual day of college. YAY! My only class today was my inquiry class, which is about gender & sexuality roles in ancient Rome and Greece. I'm extremely excited for this class!

As we were going through the syllabus, which describe the 12 page paper I will be required to write, I started to get REALLY stressed out. I honestly have no idea how I am going to read 70 pages for class twice a week, let alone a 12 page research paper.

And then I realized: I CAN do it. I AM capable of way more than I let myself believe. Sure, 12 pages seems like a lot when in high school my largest paper was only 7 pages, and the teachers practically held my hand through it. I know it is going to be really hard, but I KNOW I can do it.

Getting overwhelmed isn't going to get me anywhere. At all. Just gotta smile, breathe & put in my best effort. And I cannot wait to see where that brings me in life! :)

Loves!
(: Katie

Cry

1. Study for a test because then the test might take you half the time allotted.

2. Re-read your favorite book.

3. Packing for a trip is difficult.

4. Crying isn't such a bad thing.

I have cried so much in the past few days - it's slightly insane. It's quite embarrassing, actually.

And I'm not talking about sad tears (we'll get to that later); most of them have been out of pure joy. On Monday, at 5:31pm, my sister Ashly gave birth to my new niece Presley. I wasn't able to be there, but I got plenty of pictures and messages about it. If you don't know my story, let me give you some background: I grew up an only child, but then last summer, shortly after my 18th birthday, my mom told me I had a half sister on my dad's side. She is 9 years older than I am and at that time, had a 2 year old son named Cash. Let's just say it was quite the shock and then it turns out she was pregnant with another. It's been a whirlwind experience.

So then Monday comes along. Shortly after Presley was born, I got a text from Ashly: Presley Kay 9lbs 9oz 21 1/2 inches long along with a picture. I was just about to head to dinner with Megan and the rest of the crew when I got the text; it was instant tears. For me, happy tears is a new thing. I don't believe I have ever felt so overjoyed to hear anything in my life. It's almost like you are joy, not just feeling it. Then my mom sent me a text saying, "Just think, she's got your blood!" Now that sent me into another round of tears. For most of my life, I have never had anything so little share so much of who I am. Not to mention, this meant I would be in her life until the day I died. I'm going to see her grow up, I'll teach her crazy things - I am forever in her life, her little amazing life.

Presley Kay

Later on that night, I was chilling in my room, trying to finish a speech. I had pretty much stopped crying (I did cry when I saw a picture of Presley's feet) and was trying to finish what I needed so I could go to bed. I was feeling slightly anxious because a few of my friends were hanging out together and I felt slightly rejected and I had spent part of my night at play rehearsal, which was pretty rough. Megan gave me a quick hug before she headed back to her dorm and as soon as the door shut, I start to cry again - this time with sadness and anger and utter fear. I was so terrified - by everything. I wasn't afraid of something happening, but I was just afraid of it all. It was a feeling of utter drowning and being lost. I was eventually pulled up and found, but for a while, I was a pile of emotion.

I don't think I've cried like that since last summer - both the happy and sad crying. Although I hated some of the feelings, I'm glad. The release of emotions reminded me of who I am - what my joys and fears are and who I want to depend on.

Crying shows us at our highest and lowest moments. It gives us the release we need and it allows us to keep on moving. Sometimes we get so stuck and we need to be freed. And maybe we get stuck in a good place, but here's the catch: we're stuck. We can't move on and experience more.

Sometimes we just need to cry.

Peace!

-Nicole

"I just can't deal with this right now."

1. Document the sleep deprived quotations.
2. Ever in Ames, Iowa?  Eat at Jeff's Pizza.
3. Go.  You won't regret it.
4. Salsa Doritos are actually kind of good.

Megan here, better late than never right?  I promise I'll post next Wednesday.

Sadly, the title seemed to be my inner mantra for the last two weeks.  It knew I was in for a marathon with MBLGTACC alone, but then my family emergency popped up as well as a few other things I didn't account for.  I felt completely and utterly overwhelmed.  To give you an idea, I spent 19 hours in a vehicle over a span of 5 days and during those 5 days, I went a 72 hour stint with 11 total hours of sleep.  It was really rough and I kind of got a little bit goofy on the ride back.  MBLGTACC was incredible though and feel free to ask us about it.  It was a life changing experience as someone put it in our meeting yesterday, and I really really hope to be able to make next year's conference in Michigan.

I guess I learned a lot over the last week.  Sure, some things I didn't want to know, but it happens.  I was just stressed over going home and having to finally come to terms with another death in the family. There's been 4 since winter break started. Plus the funeral was on Valentine's Day which I already associate with negative connotations having nothing to do with over-commercialization or my currently single status.  So yeah, it was rough, especially with living out of a suitcase and missing classes and whatnot.

Things are rough sometimes, and sometimes they're utterly overwhelming and difficult, but they do get better.  I got back to campus on Tuesday night after white knuckling it through a snow storm to get here.  Yay for 30 mph on the interstate! (I digress) and so yesterday was my first full day back and I was so happy to just have familiarity and routine again.  Yesterday felt great for me.  I felt genuinely good and not stressed out.  Things definitely felt better, and I feel better in general.  It just goes to show that while things may be stressful, they can also be good at the same time.  MBLGTACC opened my eyes to a lot of things, plus I bonded with a lot of amazing people.  I learned, I laughed, I cried, and I experienced solidarity like I've never felt before.  Sure I was stressed when I got back over having to go home, but home was exactly where I needed to be and I'm glad I went back.  I would have regretted it if I hadn't, and I really needed the closure.

Feeling overwhelmed and like you can't handle things as they currently are, much less when an emergency arises, is scary; that's what friends are for.  Reach out and let someone else support you until things stabilize, and then you can get back to normal.  Things will ease up, and they will get better. 

Trust in other people as well as yourself.  You're going to be just fine.
Have a great week and hug someone you love.

-Megan