Ode to MPR

"There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation." -James Nathan Miller

Hi hi, it's Megan.  I hope you had a pleasant and relaxing Thanksgiving.

When I go home, I usually drive my mom's Buick wherever I need to go.  My dad sometimes drives the car and so the radio perpetually finds itself tuned to MPR.  Over summer, I would usually tune it back to some variety fm station, but I decided to just sit and listen this time.  The older I get, the more I appreciate MPR, and this past weekend was no exception.  The programming seems to coincide perfectly in some way or other with what's going on with me either internally or externally.  I drove home late at night after getting together with friends at a coffee shop to a beautifully told story.  On my way shopping with my mom, we listened to a conversation about the value of allowing kids to do wild and crazy things, despite our desire to keep them safe from disappointment.  It definitely provided a much needed external perspective for my mother and I.

On Friday, I spent most of the day with my dad.  We realized we hadn't talked at all since the election and so we had a great conversation about global politics, the Israeli/Palistinian conflict, and about successful economic policies in countries other than the United States.  This included a rather excited conversation about Social Security. :P  I missed my dad quite a bit and was rather sad I missed my family's Thanksgiving celebration and the annual all day board game playing session that goes along with it. My dad and I tend to be partners no matter what game we decide on. Since we've lost many family members on that side, holidays are always intensely bittersweet and I lament missing any of them.  

It might sound crazy, but board games always remind me of my family members. I always feel closer to them during a lively round of TriBond or even CatchPhrase.  In the same way, I also feel closer to my dad when listening to the familiar voices on MPR.

Peace, love, and warm thoughts as the weather grows colder.

-Megan

Relief

I went back to my psychologist today.  The past few months I have been feeling the pressure from life. Most of the time, I can figure things out, put systems in place, and continue on. But life has given me a ton of weird, genetically mutated lemons and I don't know how to make lemonade with them. That is to say, my way of dealing with things isn't sufficient any more. "Anxiety NOS - not otherwise specified" is what I was diagnosed with. Next week, my psychologist Amy and I will come up with a therapy plan and go from there.

After the appointment this morning, I felt something I have been waiting for: relief. Or should I say, the anticipation of relief. I am ready for my shoulders to relax, to feel rested in the morning, and to feel a good connection with someone again. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to feel relief.

My life is a mix of everything right now. I love my classes, yet I can't seem to get a good grasp on some topics. I love my family more than ever, but I am also finding more differences. I love my job in the costume studio and might have chances to co-design a show, but it doesn't pay well and takes a lot of time. Not to mention, I am (finally) a very poor college student. It's bittersweet. At around age 7, a child can begin to understand how words can have multiple meanings, but it seems only now am I fully understanding this concept of multiple meanings.

It's mucky right now, but I am slowly cleaning up the mess from the flood and rebuilding the slightly damaged walls. I'm getting there, but sometimes some time, effort, and outside help is needed. 

Relief is coming.

Peace!

-Nicole

I'm thankful for my mom.

"When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself." -Nancy Friday

Megan here. I'm sorry I haven't been the best at keeping on schedule.

I can't wait to get home for Thanksgiving. For the first time, I'm really starting to miss my family.  This whole college thing is quite effective at making me forget or look past all the little trivial things that annoy me and long for everything else, all the love and positive regard. Absence makes the heart so much fonder.

I have always, always, always been a Daddy's girl, but lately I just miss my mom. Recent events have brought us closer together in that we have reached a better understanding of one another through the things we cannot tolerate. It is not so much we've found a common enemy, but we have found similar causes we are equally passionate about, and now we can mutually listen to each other's frustrations and see parts of ourselves in the dialogue.

My mom is the strongest woman I know. I am so glad and so proud to say everything I know about being my own person I've learned from her.  I inherited much of her appearance, but I also inherited her passion and her spirit--while our stubbornness has led us to butt heads many times, I wouldn't trade that quality for anything.  I am proud of her for following and continuing to follow what is in her heart, despite the difficulties brought about by those choices. 

She is, and always will be, my role-model and the example I look to when doing what I know to be right isn't the easiest course of action. I cannot wait to see her, hug her, listen to her vent about a number of frustrations, and spend Thanksgiving together.

Peace and be well.  I hope you all have a wonderful holiday.

-Megan

Hunger

1. On any given night, 760 people in the Fargo-Moorhead area are homeless.
2. Of these, about 17% are under age 18
3. And of everyone total, 41% are employed, 15% full time.
 (numbers are from the 2009 Wilder Study)

Hey everyone! This is Malyn, and I hope you've had a fabulous week.

Lately I've been having the appetite of a 12 year old boy - pizza cravings at midnight, all that. And when these happen, I have the tendency to tell my roommates that I'm STARVINGGGGGG. But am I, am I really? Nope. Not even close. I typically have had a full three meals, and even then on some nights I can afford to indulge my cravings by ordering breadsticks.

It's just made me think. I am so privileged - we all are. I've never known true hunger, and while I know that's not true for everyone that I know or even everyone at Concordia, it's likely that most of you reading this haven't either.

According to HungerFreeMinnesota.org, "One in every ten Minnesotans doesn’t know where his or her next meal is coming from. Of those ten, four are children." That's a lot of people right there. And if you're perhaps 
thinking, as many Americans do, that they must just be lazy, let me tell you: There are working poor, who have full time jobs and still can't make ends meet due to lack of a living wage, there are people with disabilities, there are people who've been left bankrupt by medical bills. Hunger and homelessness have myriad faces.

So let's cease judging, see how crazy ridiculously privileged we are, and work to help others :)

Have a marvelous and awesome week!

-Malyn

Give A Little

Today, the strangest thing happened to me. I was out shopping and was waiting in line to purchase a few things and the cashier asked the lady in front of me if she would like to donate one dollar to St. Jude's Children's Hospital; the lady said no. At first, I just thought maybe she couldn't afford a dollar... But then I noticed her designer purse, and clothes an caught myself judging her.

The holidays have officially begun and honestly it is the time of giving. Sure, I disagree with this lady's actions. But, I also think every one should give what they can.

Giving also includes thanks. Be thankful for what you have. There are so many people in this world that don't have the luxuries we have. The fact that I am in college whilst knowing that kids in parts of the world can't even go to elementary school.

This holiday season I have only one simple request: Love with the gifts God gave you. Love everyone. Give everything you can. Be love.

Be love.
xx
Katie.

Peace Be With You

I have been feeling stressed lately, more than I have felt in a while. The stressors I'm experiencing aren't ones that quickly pass through - they build and require some stamina. My body has been showing signs of it - some weight loss, breaking out, sore throat, sore legs, and emotional exhaustion. I can't help but wish to disengage and hope everything will pass (which of course, will not be helpful). I have been trying to figure out what I need to get through it all. Support, rest, and most of all, peace.

When I started this blog, I ended my first post with "Peace!" because I had no idea how to end a post. But as time has passed, I'm glad I finished that first post with such a word. It has come to represent so much in my life. Peace is what I have discovered is most helpful in stressful situations. In my class on Buddhism, it was one of the main focuses - to center myself and find peace within me. I have discovered peace is best when found in myself. It is true and honest to me and I know it stems from something I believe in, although I may never find what that is. I guess one could call it my "true self" but to me, I am always changing. The one thing that stays constant is peace found within myself.

Life has been loud lately. The political ads, the campaign calls, and the debates between everyone. Being on a campus where politics is pretty central, it gets extremely loud. I loved participating in the politics and developing my own voice, but right now, I'm glad to have some silence and most of all, peace. Maybe that is what will connect us all in the end - peace. The idea of peace everyone agrees about. Conflict may be necessary, but what is the point of conflict if there is no goal of peace?

Today, I am going to find peace in me. I am going to see peace in others and find some common ground. I believe we all have it - we just need to see it once again.

Peace.

-Nicole

Love Thy Neighbor

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

Megan here.

I cannot get this election off my mind. I just want it to be over, but my stomach is in knots over the possible outcomes. I will probably cry at some point tomorrow, either tears of joy or immense pain and sorrow.

I wish everyone would always think about how their actions affect those around them, including those already marginalized by society. Voting has real life consequences, and I wish members of my own family realized how important these issues are to me, because it will change our relationship.  There's no way it can't  be affected, and while we'll always be family, that alone does not compel or require me to compromise my values and beliefs in their presence.

"Love thy neighbor."  It seems simple to me.  Love is something that builds someone up. It eases pain, gives comfort, provides a light in the darkness, and makes someone feel safe. Love doesn't shame, invoke fear, or cause pain. Love thy neighbor means showing respect, providing for needs, ending stigmatization and discrimination, and overall just being a decent person.

Please, please, please, please go vote.  From the bottom of my heart, I urge you to step into that voting booth and think about how those marks will affect your neighbors.  Show some respect and show some love.  I think if we need more of anything these days, it's precisely that. Love.

With all of my LOVE,

Megan

Live For Today

"All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it!" -Bob Newhart

Megan here, I'm back!

I was talking to a friend the other day and she gently reminded me of something that I guess I needed to be reminded of.  She said, "No one is obligated to be unhappy." I think I need to perhaps just take a few more moments to reevaluate what makes me happy and pursue that a little bit more.  I'm not going to live forever, and my goal in life should not be to compromise my happiness for other people.

Delay of gratification is simply putting off gratification now in order to reap greater rewards in the future.  It develops in early childhood and coincides with greater emotional control.  My idea is what if sometimes we push the delay of gratification too far?  I am so guilty of living in the future, it's not even funny.  Here's how my life plan has looked so far:

Get good grades > Go to good college + get good grades > Go to good grad school + get good grades > Work a lot to pay off loans and save up for retirement > Retire

Now, that's a pretty good, goal oriented plan.  I think I've done ok so far... but there needs to be space and time in there for me to sit back and be happy.  I know I don't deal with stress well, I just don't.  It's something I am working on, but I am constantly stressing about how well I can set myself up for my next life phase.

So something new for me to work on: live for today and enjoy where I'm at.

Peace and love,
Megan

In the words of Drake...

Hello all,

First, I would like to apologize for my disappearance from the world wide web & for not being here to brighten your Thursdays. But I'm back. :) Yay!

The past weeks have brought a very important lesson to my attention.

I've noticed that my clubbies are closer with everyone else, and I never get invited to hang out with them. I've noticed the girls on my floor have stopped inviting me to dinner & to go shopping. I've noticed my classmates don't ask me to study with them anymore. I've noticed that people that used to rely on my, can't anymore. And why? Because I work so dang much!

I am 18 years old and a full time student in my freshmen year of college. I also work 40+ hours a week. No wonder no one tries to hangout anymore; I'm NEVER available.

So, here's my advice to you: Live for the now.

Yes, its important to work; responsibility, money, time management & all the junk. But the most most important thing is to live for the present. You only live once, right?


(: Katie

PS. The real meaning (& Drakes original plan) of YOLO is living for the now because you can't do life over. You only live once, do it right.

Preschool

It has been said many times before, but I am coming to a new understanding of what it means when someone says college students are preschoolers. Of course, I get excited when I learn something new and I think it is the coolest thing ever and sometimes I need my mom to pick me up and kiss me on the head. But let me add something to this extended metaphor: preschoolers develop a thing called "false beliefs", which is the understanding that what someone thinks can be wrong, including their own thoughts.

In the past few weeks, I have been struggling with how to deal with differing opinions. When growing up, views on things that other people held were different, but not drastically. And if they were, it always seemed I could prove them wrong. It seemed I was always right. I have come to the difficult realization that my views on things may be wrong and there can be multiple truths on something. Just as preschoolers develop the ability to control their emotions, I am learning how to control my feelings when someone has a dissenting opinion, especially when someone is close to me.

There is something unique to college-age students though that differs from preschoolers - the development of being able to appreciate differing thoughts and see them as valuable. My college emphasizes the importance of interfaith and inter-anything conversation. The valuing of opinion is what makes something change for the better. And I'm slowly getting to that understanding of that value.

And although preschoolers and adults are different, I think I am still entitled to a few naps and for my mom to pick me up off the sidewalk and kiss my scrape and tell me it's all going to be ok.

Peace!

-Nicole

The Study of Women

"Well behaved women rarely make history." -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


Hellooo, sorry it's another late night post.  hope you are well.

I LOVE my Women's Studies class.  It is one of the best I've ever taken at Concordia and am so glad it's a minor for me.  Honestly, if Concordia offered a major in it , it might be my second major.  It has introduced so many concepts, caused so many "Aha!" moments, and has caused me to reconsider specializing in Gender Psychology.


It's a lot of learning though.  And that's definitely a great thing, but learning can also be uncomfortable sometimes.  It's hard to take a class where we read a lot of writers who have a keen awareness of inequalities still present today.  I mean, it is a great class.  Great professor, great classmates, great subject matter.  Still, when you learn about things that maybe ought to be fixed in your society, it can be a bit disheartening to realize that there's still a lot of things that need improvement. Even worse is the realization that you yourself are a part of some of those systems responsible for inequality.  To realize that your own thoughts contribute to a social construct that marginalizes and condemns people is sobering.  You begin to see things everywhere, and it's happening to me not only in the context of Women's Studies, but in the context of my Developmental Psych class as well.  I can't look at a child without having stage theories of development and certain milestones pop into my head.

I guess that's ultimately what are education is about though.  No one ever said it would always be comfortable, plus the very point of education is to fight against our natural ignorance of some things.  Sometimes we just aren't naturally exposed to information and that's why it's important to actively seek out knowledge.  

In my religion class we just covered Genesis, and of course the concept of Original Sin.  My professor is a firm believer that sin took place not because of willful disobedience, but of ignorance and immaturity.  After all, isn't it all based in the desire for knowledge.  The God of most faith traditions is an omniscient being and we desire to be more like God. 

I am being exposed to many, many things here at college.  Being exposed to my own ignorance as well as other viewpoints may be uncomfortable at times, and it comes at a pretty steep price, but if anything is worth paying for, it's knowledge and awareness.

Have a wonderful week and please enjoy the remainder of Autumn.
-Megan 

Roots

1. There is no age limit to Sea-doo jet boats
2. Always remember where you came from
3. Good food brings people together

Hello! It's Malyn again.

Last weekend, I journeyed home (a four-hour bus trip from Concordia) to see my great aunt and my mother's cousins. And it was beautiful. I get to see them only once about every 3 years, and my great aunt is 87. She's in good health, but I don't always know how many more times I'll get to see her.

Anyway, my mom's side of the family hails from Indiana (Terre Haute, to be specific), and they all have really great Southern-ish accents and are very down to earth. You spend a few hours with them and you start belly-laughing at their stories, and when you leave you say, "Baeh!" instead of bye.  There's always loads of great home-cooked food- my aunt loves cooking and then everyone else brings things to share.

We sit around a large table and eat and talk. Most of the stories are from about the 60s, when many of them were children - that side is notorious for pranks and mischief. I also get the chance to hear about the days when my late granddad and my great-aunt were children. There's a famous story where my granddad was trying to learn to drive but couldn't stop the car, and so was swerving everywhere trying not to hit things - he finally ran it into a tree at low speed in order to stop!

This sense of spontaneity and fun usually leads to pretty enjoyable things. My aunt Ann lives on a lake, and so usually we go out for boat rides. Last year they bought a Sea-Doo jet boat, one of these:

We decided to try and give my great-aunt a ride on it. Her hips aren't great anymore, but she was up for it and we managed to get her on (in doing so my mother almost fell into the water - it was all a very hilarious situation). She and my aunt cruised around and had the time of their lives.

Always remember who you are and keep in touch with family. I'm blessed to have so many great relatives - I know many people aren't so lucky. It was a wonderful weekend and I'm glad to have such a lovely family!

peace and have a fabulous week!

-Malyn

Getting Political

"I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians." -Charles De Gaulle

First, happy Monday.  Second, I'm so sorry for getting this out so late.  It's National Coming Out Week which means we're super incredibly busy.  It's SAGA's biggest week of the year and we've got events going on every day.  When you couple that with work and tons and tons of homework--it gets busy.

One of the things I hear most often from my friends these days is that they can't wait until the election is over.  I know many many people who have worked with the campaigns either interning or doing other types of organizing or volunteer work, and from what I gather they're just so exhausted.  Here's the thing though...as much as we wish it wasn't so, politics are important.

I'm always incredibly bothered when people in my generation (or anyone really) dismisses politics or elections.  I know I'm so biased as far as all of this goes, but dang it, these decisions are going to affect our future!  People are always complaining about the state of our government, yet those same people don't go out and exercise their right to vote.  I think most of you know that I'm a MN resident, and so the Vote No campaigns for both amendments are hugely important to me.  In fact, I'm lending my face to a video on Thursday through SAGA and Campus Democrats.

I get sick of politics too.  Believe me, I do--but at the same time I get even sicker when I think about what will happen in our future if people refuse to become educated and consider these issues before election day.  Many college students feel underrepresented by their government, something they have every right to feel, but if we made our voices heard through democratic processes, maybe our elected officials would acknowledge our demographic. Why should they think of the college age population if the college age population doesn't bother to vote?

For me, as for many of my friends, this election season rests on some very tender nerves.  I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I wasn't doing something to try to help out some of these campaigns.  Some of them won't even affect me personally but I know SO MANY people who would be affected.  I'm not going to stand back and do nothing.  It's just not my style.

If you need to register to vote, you can go to https://www.gottaregister.com/ and if you're a first time voter in MN, we are lucky enough to have same day registration, so lucky you!  If you need to vote absentee in MN, you can go to http://www.sos.state.mn.us/index.aspx?page=211 Also, if you need to vote absentee in any state, you can just google "Vote absentee (insert state name here)"

With that, I hope all you folks age 18 and older will hit the polls on November 6th!

With love and hugs,
Megan

Accepting help

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“Nothing makes one feel so strong as a call for help.” – Pope Paul VI

Happy Friday!

Everyone seems to be getting sick. And not only are we all sick down here in the Lou, it’s test time. From chemistry to German to archaeology, professors tend to pick the same weeks and/or days to give exams. It’s actually quite remarkable.

Although I haven’t gotten sick yet (knock on wood), I wasn’t able to go to any of my classes last week. This means that my entire week this week has been devoted to getting caught up in all my classes and I know others are in the same boat. It’s not easy. It’s harder if you try to get through it on your own.

Growing up, I was always taught that you should be independent and not rely on anyone. I think this could have been a really good lesson to learn, but it got taken a little too far. Until recently, I thought that I was weak if I asked for help. I “should” be able to solve my own problems. Life doesn’t work that way.

We all have needs. Sometimes they can get a little scary and overwhelming. We can’t do everything on our own. My social psychology professor would say, “People are cultural animals; we need each other to survive.” We all need a little help sometimes, but learning to ask for help is hard and accepting that help takes strength. They're a couple of the best lessons I've ever learned.

Stay strong and have a wonderful weekend!

Bekka

Growing Pains

It's been a month since I've been back on campus. I have reorganized my room more than once, freaked out about grades a few times, and have had a few very busy days. I didn't realize it had only been a month until tonight, when I was adding a ton of events to my calendar on my computer. It seems more time than a month has passed - a lot has happened and it seems to be painful at times.

I used to have terrible growing pains when I was younger. My legs would throb and would be sensitive to touch. I never really understood why I had them - I wasn't too active and they would happen at the weirdest times, like in the middle of church or art class. To my 8-year-old self, it was a pain that was bothersome and I really didn't see the point of all that pain.

Of course now, I understand the purpose of growing pains.* A growing body means the body is changing and new things are about to happen. The outcome will always be positive - a body that is stronger and bigger than before. But until then, the growing may be painful. The past few weeks back on campus have been that way - a bit painful. I thought that once I was back on campus, this would just pick up where I left off. But I am finding that that isn't true. My friends, most of whom lived on the same floor as I did, are now scattered across campus and everyone is involved in different things. All in all, it has been difficult to stay connected.

It's been a growing pain. I'm learning that keeping connections with friends will be a continuing process and even more so, making new friends is more difficult than it was last year. It's not that I don't want to meet others, it's just difficult to get out of my comfort zone. I know that growing pains are necessary, but as many a parent will say, massaging the legs helps with the pain. What I need to do is stretch myself a bit more - stretch out my hand to meet someone new, help out an organization, and stretch myself to explore things I may have never thought of before.

Although growing pains are bothersome and complaining may help for an 8-year-old, I think it's high time for me to stretch myself up and out of what I know - there is so much more out there I have yet to learn about. My world I have created of a small group of friends can't last forever - it needs to grow, change, possibly be flipped on its head. There needs to be more of me, a big, greater, better me and isn't that the point of growing pains?

Peace!

-Nicole

*Although scientifically, growing pains are not connected to rapid, sudden growth, but for the purposes of this post, I'll just stick with the common understanding.

Sicko

"One of the most sublime experiences we can ever have is to wake up feeling healthy after we have been sick." -Rabbi Harold Kushner

Hey, it's Megan.  Hope you had a great Monday.

Well, family weekend was great and I was glad my aunt could make it up to spend it with me.  I think we both had a good time and were able to partake in activities on and off campus.  Unfortunately, I was sick the entire time.

Nicole and I have both suffered through the plague that hits campus every few weeks or so and my body hit the wall today.  I feel okay to an extent, but my throat is shot and I've been struggling with a hacking cough.  I even took off of work tonight (at the insistence of Nicole as well as my protesting throat) so I could get my homework done, relax a bit, and get to sleep early. As of writing this, I only have 15 pages left to read!  Also, I don't work until Sunday unless I pick up a shift, so now I can but more of my body's faculties towards healing up.  I think it was probably a good decision.

See, Nicole has enough sense to take time off from class and such and rest if she's sick.  Me? Not so much. Even today, I got home after class and all I could think about was how much work I have to do and how much I actually wanted to get all of it done.  Even if I was setting aside time to feel better, I wanted to instead use that time to get homework done.  My friend, Steph, eventually forced me into bed and even tucked me in.  It pays to have friends in college.  The lesson in all of this?  I clearly need to put my health higher up on the list of priorities and not always on the back burner.  Health is important--never ever forget that.  I've seen way too many people lose it or suffer with chronic conditions to not be taking better care of myself.  But, I am learning, and I am surrounded by people who are willing to force me to take care of myself, even if that's not my highest priority at the time.

So that's where I'm at.  The next time you hear from me, I will be good as new, but also perhaps a bit poorer from having had to buy so much medicine. :P

Be happy and well, but most of all, be healthy!

-Megan

Photo Prompt - A Sacred Place

Hey hey; Katie here!

Today I'm trying something new: a photo prompt.

Ready?

Sacred place: somewhere that at any time, you can go there to think, rest, relax. Somewhere that nothing can hurt you, or where you can let all your pain come out. Your sacred place is anything that you want it to be.

The last few days/weeks I have been extremely overwhelmed with all the changes finally sinking in. Its finally coming to my attention that college is my permanent place for the next four years (well, except summers..). Its so strange to think about how much is changing, and maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought. I am blessed to have amazing friends and family that have been my cheerleaders the past weeks without even knowing it.

Automatically, when I think of my sacred place I think of my church. I have been at the same church for 18 and a half years, so its definitely become a second home for me. But, then I thought about it some more and I happen to have many sacred places. My bed, when I need rest or comfort; Starbucks, when I just need a little boost; and almost anywhere I'm with my family. Knowing that I have so many places/people to fall back on makes everything in life a little better. Baby steps, right?

Have a happy Thursday & rest of your week!

xx Katie

We Just Finished Our First Broadcast!

This is a lovely video Megan and I created shortly after we finished our first KORD Radio broadcast. Check it out.

Listen LIVE to Megan and Nicole!

This evening is our first broadcast of our new radio show, Dorm Room 318!

6pm!

See that link right above? "Listen to KORD Radio?" Yeah, click that. And listen to Megan and I rock the mic... or possibly make a fool of ourselves. Either way, you should listen.

Also, 'like' our page on Facebook.

Happy listening!

National Suicide Prevention Week

"The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.' -Ben Okri

Hey there.  It's Megan.  I hope your Monday is pleasant.  I'm going to put a trigger warning on this post because of the sensitive nature of the subject.

So last week was National Suicide Prevention week and last Monday was World Suicide Prevention day.  A lot of people showed their support by wearing yellow or supporting the organization To Write Love On Her Arms by well, writing "love" on their arms. next to support of the LGBTQ community, suicide prevention is the biggest cause I fight for, and it's a pretty significant reason why I chose to be a psychology major and contemplate working as a school psychologist. On the blog this year, I'm fighting against the urge to sugarcoat my posts or only talk about more positive topics, but just because we're college students doesn't mean we don't have experiences with things like this.  Through friends and family, I have more knowledge and awareness than I ever wanted to have.

The last time I'd checked, 1 in 5 teens will seriously contemplate suicide, and roughly 1% of all teenagers make an attempt. Suicide is complex, and I don't have the answers. So I'm going to focus more on the stigma and the aftermath of contemplating or attempting.

In psychology, we discuss Nature vs. Nurture and what contributes more to who we are as people.  In this case, nurture would be a genetic predisposition, a family history, a chemical imbalance, what have you. It's anything built into the genetic makeup that would predispose someone to depression and/or suicide.  The nurture aspect would be the environment or events such as bullying, abuse, death of a loved one, rejection due to LGBTQ status, etc. It's anything exterior to the person. In my opinion, a genetic predisposition is certainly not helpful in situations like these, but such things are often triggered or exacerbated by the environment.  There are exceptions I'm sure, but actual events often serve as catalysts capable of sending someone into a tailspin. However; in the same way that the environment has a huge impact on whether or not a genetic predisposition may lead to contemplation of suicide or a suicide attempt, so too can the environment help to heal and improve the situation.

So I'm going to make a small call to action. Too often we focus on the negatives here.  Maybe we offer pity and blame, focus on the events or situation that led someone to contemplate such a drastic action, or try to cover up the problem and pretend like everything's "normal."  I'm going to tell you right now that that isn't very helpful. Many times we jump to medication and medical intervention which I want to stress is VERY important, but I think there should be more emphasis on how we can structure environments beneficial to those who have struggled with suicide.  

1. Start by ending the stigma. People who have gone through this or who are survivors of it all have their own personal stories. They're people, and what happened in their past does not, and should not, define their future. 

2. Love.  A loving and supportive environment helps to heal a lot of wounds.  Help to make it understanding.  At the same time, try to understand that this experience does not mean someone is broken or damaged.  It's a life altering experience to be sure, but as the quotation says, we are capable of being greater than our suffering.  Just because someone has endured this does not mean they are incapable of standing on their own two feet.

3. Get people the help they need.  Sometimes we just can't provide the kind of support or answers someone requires.  I know I've had to step back from a few situations and put it in the hands of someone more capable and trained to handle the situation.  Even if you know someone will fight you on it, it's better to have someone upset with you and there, then be in their good graces but have them gone.

The environment someone is immersed in can push them to the brink, but it can also pull them back. The good thing about environments is that they can change, either through time or through our own doing.  A horrible environment can give way to a wonderful one. Family, friends, a school, an organization, even a cause can all be a part of a system that gives meaning to someone's life.  Never underestimate how important the environment can be in someone's recovery. 

If it weren't for my environment over the last five years, I wouldn't be here typing this. 

Be safe, be kind, be well.

-Megan

Molehills

My foot was bleeding this morning. I was sitting at my desk and I suddenly felt a sneeze coming on. I got up, grabbed a tissue, and quickly caught the sneeze. I tossed my used tissue away and as I looked down to make sure the crumpled ball of tissue made it in, I noticed the top of my foot was bleeding. I quickly cleaned it up and put a bandaid on it. Megan asked me what happened and I answered, "I have no idea." I didn't shave this morning, so my razor couldn't have nicked me and there isn't many sharp things that would skin the top of my foot.

Whenever I babysit or am around kids in general, it seems a child always ends up falling over. Some of the time they are fine and pull themselves up without a second thought. Sometimes, it really does hurt and they need some help. But most of the time, they fall and only when someone looks at them do they start crying. My mom and I decided a while ago the reason why this happens is only when they themselves realize it or someone acknowledges it do they feel the pain of falling down.

The same goes for my foot this morning. Only when I looked down at my foot (which clearly had stopped bleeding a while ago) did I feel the slight twinge of pain. Although the pity hug I got from Megan made me feel better, if I hadn't given it much thought besides cleaning it, I would have been fine. As the old saying goes, "Don't make mountains out of molehills."

For me, sometimes life seems so difficult and stressful and annoying and every other word I can use to describe an oh-so-difficult life. Of course, life can become quite difficult, but sometimes I make mountains out of molehills. That two-page paper? It becomes the largest paper I've written in my life. That meeting I attend every week and have no leadership position? It becomes the most time consuming thing in the world. And it seems when there is a slight miscommunication between me and someone else, the whole relationship is down the drain.

Hours later when I got back from church this morning, I was scratching my foot and realized I had a bandaid there. I had nearly forgotten about it. What I was stressing out about before and was the biggest catastrophe was now nearly nothing. This rings true with everything else. The paper, if I take it in stride and simply get it done, is an easy paper to write. The meeting just becomes part of routine and somethings to look forward to. And that slight miscommunication is easily worked out and life can go on. It seems if I don't give those little things my attention, they become a part of the flow of the day and not a road block.

Don't make mountains out of molehills. It's more of a pain than it's worth.

Peace!

-Nicole

Keep Your Heart Open

1. Conversations with strangers are not always scary or awkward.
2. Sometimes you need to be extra gentle with yourself.
3. Real, deep conversations can change a person's way of thinking.

Hello! It's Malyn again. This week was...incredible, and incredibly busy.

Being a political science major who's passionate about a lot of things, especially during an election year, is a blessing and a curse. There is ALWAYS volunteering and voter registering and phone calling to be done (By the way, if you aren't yet registered to vote & you either live or attend school in MN here's a helpful website: the MN Secretary of State's page) ....yeah. Even in writing a blog post I can't truly escape it :)

And actually, I find myself enjoying it. This Saturday morning, instead of sleeping in, I went and did phone calling, working to prevent the "one man-one woman" marriage amendment from passing. I've done my fair share of calling for campaigns, recruiting volunteers and figuring out who people are likely to vote for, but this was completely different: We were sharing our stories and information about the impact of the amendment, and actually trying to change minds with the power of honesty and reflection, and questioning the views you've always held.

It wasn't bad. It wasn't even nerve-wracking. In fact, I truly enjoyed being able to share my story. It felt REALLY good to have an impact.

As I dealt with my learning curve and taking in new information, I thought a lot about letting myself make mistakes, forgiving and learning from them. I've struggled with depression over the past few years, and so the tendency to get angry with myself is still something I'm learning to quell. "Let it go" has become a new mantra for me.

Then, in the midst of being busy and making some mistakes, I caught the cold that's been going around campus. While musing that Voldemort's actually really lucky to not have a nose that gets stuffed, I took things slowly and gently, allowing for the fact that I didn't feel great. I even bought myself a slice of chocolate cheesecake, because the most comforting thing when I'm sick is good food.

Peace and have a fabulous week! :)

-Malyn

Happiness lays somewhere in the future..

TODAY IS THURSDAY!
Do you know what that means? It means its KATIE DAY!

Today, I was honestly not sure where to start. I have been super stressed out the past week and have been having some major mood fluctuations. When Nicole reminded me to blog today, I honestly had no idea what I was going to talk about. Normally, we, here at DR718, talk about lessons and whatnot; but I didn't think I really had a lesson to share with you today.

The other day, I was reading my wonderful RA's blog, and she mentioned something about a 'First line generator,' and that thought fluttered into my crazy brain about ten minutes ago. So here I am, with a first line of "Happiness lays somewhere in the future.." I don't think that I will write a story with that to push me in, but  I do find it rather ironic that those specific words would appear.

A member of my high school class died of a brain aneurysm last fall, and I have been thinking about her a lot lately. Her motto was 'never give up'; and therefore that somewhat became our class motto.

Never give up.

Its somewhat powerful isn't it? You hear it all the time; but when you really think about it, it is quite the challenge. Never give up. This past week, this advice/motto has been a strong driver in keeping me doing what I want to do in life.

So today, I pass it on to you.
Never give up. 

xx Katie.

All Dogs go to Heaven

"Happiness is a warm puppy." -Charles Schulz

Greetings from Megan.  I hope your Monday was as mellow as mine.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day and this week is National Suicide Prevention Week and I had a huge post planned for tonight, until I realized while walking back to my dorm that it's also been exactly one year since I'd lost my dog.  World Suicide Prevention Day is hugely important to me and expect that to be the topic of my post next Monday, but for now, I just want to talk about my dog.

I think the value of a pet is vastly underestimated by people who have never had one. Pepper, my Miniature Schnauzer, bopped into my life two days before my 7th birthday and departed twelve days after I had arrived at college.  Undoubtedly those 12 years contained some of the roughest experiences I've ever undergone, and I cannot count the number of nights I spent crying into her neck. If she wasn't sleeping on my brother's bed, she was sleeping on the pillow next to me. She was, quite frankly, the best friend I'd ever had, and so leaving to go to school when I knew chances were good that I would never see her again was really, really tough.

I can chuckle at it now, but when I found out she had passed away I was bawling in my dorm room, only I was trying not to since I didn't want to freak out my roommate. I don't know exactly why I did, but I told Nicole as soon as I found out--we were on Facebook chat at the time. We had known each other for a grand total of three days, and she promptly asked me if I was okay and then offered me cookies.  I probably shouldn't have put her in such an awkward position.

Pets have ways of teaching us life lessons, lessons about death and what it means to take life as it comes, to love unconditionally, and to handle suffering with grace and dignity.  A wonder that they do this all without speaking a single word.  Pepper made me appreciate life so much and she got me through my most difficult days.  Of course I wish she was still with me.  Who wouldn't want that?  But she left at a time when I knew I was moving on and going to be perfectly okay.  She did her job and believe me, she did it well.  Pets, especially dogs, are just like that I guess.  They not only provide a source of unconditional love, but they give us something to love and care for. I know it sounds crazy, but I can't believe how much I love and have bonded with our baby Betta fish, Cuddles.

If you have a pet, take a moment to be affectionate.  If you have had a pet but don't right now, remember some of the fond moments. Finally, if you don't have a pet, I recommend getting one in the future.

With all my love,

Megan

Pepper

Be Kind

I'm mean. Or at least, I have been lately. I snap back at my friends and I seem to have no tolerance for professors who don't do things the way I want them. I have no idea why... maybe it's because I'm stressed or maybe it's because I have lost sight of what's good. No matter the cause, there just seems to be no good reason for me to keep on being mean.

People have asked me in recent years what was one thing my mom taught me that I still hold onto. And my answer is always the same: be kind. She always taught me to talk about people in the best light, even if you dislike them or disagree with them. The person on the other side of the story has their own story and they have their own beliefs that they believe in as fully as I do - why would I push them down with my words for being them? This is not to say I should be 'nice'. Nice is making sure everyone is happy and gets what they want. To me, nice is an easy thing to do. Nice makes it easier for me to let them have it their way and then go home and talk about how wrong they were. Being kind, on the other hand, is harder. It requires me to slow down and really think about whether these emotions are about me not getting my way or if I am honestly hurt by someone else's actions.

To amend my first statement, I've been 'nice'. I have blamed others for being someone who isn't me. It seems my roommate, my close friends, and my boyfriend have gotten the brunt of this easy-way-out-niceness.

So what am I going to do about it? I'm going to try to be aware of what's going on around me. Megan taught me a cool little statement: "I am kind, I am patient, I am loving". I am going to write it wherever I can, make sure I can see it, and try to see everyone in the best light possible. I have recently heard from multiple spiritual leaders that when someone is hurt, the victimizer is hurt just as much. It comes in more of an implicit manner, taking a toll on how one views the world and people.

This is a promise and an open apology: be kind. And I challenge you to do the same. Be kind. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, because to them, you are the other side of the story.

Peace!

-Nicole

Leap of Faith

1. Jumping off telephone poles is actually kinda fun.
2. Know your limits.
3. Remember that there are always people who support you.

Hey! This is Malyn, and I’m super excited that this is my first post!

Last weekend I went with the Campus Ministry Commission to do a high ropes course, as a team building exercise.  Now, you may be thinking that sounds like fun, but I went to one back in seventh grade - with the entire class. At that time I was not only afraid of heights but had terrible balance, and it was the most humiliating and embarrassing thing I’d ever done.

So when I heard that CMC would be going to do high ropes, I was naturally a bit terrified.

But I went anyway, and realized that because I was with an entirely supportive and nonjudgmental group, it was so much easier.  They realized that I wasn’t weak or dumb, and that I simply had different strengths.  When I was unable to continue at one point, they accepted it – and so did I.  In seventh grade, I had forced myself to do parts of the course that I knew were terrifying for me, and that led to an emotional breakdown 30 feet off the ground.  This time, I knew my limits and that some things just weren’t meant to be.

At the end, we climbed up a telephone pole – and jumped off.  It was a beautiful moment for me, knowing that I COULD do what I thought I couldn’t, and knowing that everyone below was as happy for me as I was.

This year, as I dive into the political world (my major!) I will remember that it’s okay to not always be on top of things, and that sometimes all there is to do is take a giant leap of faith – literal or metaphorical.

Peace, and have a fabulous week!

-Malyn

Learn Something New

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. – Oscar Wilde

Hallo! (from Bekka)

As a student, I tend to forget that there are places other than the classroom, the library, and the coffee shop. College life, especially at Wash U, is very focused on academics. And it should be. But maybe, just maybe, there are other things to learn too.

I'm taking psych stats this semester and I walked into the class thinking that it was going to be the worst class that I will ever take. Guess what! I was wrong. It actually turned into a class that I look forward to going to. What's my point? Don't judge a course by its name.

So often in life we walk into situations with the same types of feelings I had starting psych stats, but what good does that do? Expecting failure leads to failure. Sometimes the best thing to do is be open to new things.

Without having an open mind it's hard to learn anything that's worth learning.

Keep hoping!

Bekka

Bursting Bubbles

1. Sleep is VERY important.
2. Sometimes, in order to achieve your goals, you may need to give up something else.
3. Friends are always around, you just gotta go for it!

Hey again!

I just need to start with: COLLEGE IS AWESOME!

College has been quite the adventure, mainly because its something that I thought I knew everything there was to know, and I am honestly (pleasantly) surprised each & every day! I have made so many friends and have gotten to know so many people that I probably would not have talked to otherwise. I am also learning valuable lessons, such as time management. But, I have much more interesting things to tell you about: friends.

So, at Concordia, we have about four days of orientation before classes even start and then we, as freshmen, have two classes with our orientation group all semester. This basically ensures that we will have people we know in at least some of our classes and we get out of our bubbles and that kind of stuff. But, I have seriously lucked out.

Some students end up in orientation groups where they don't really click with their clubbies, and I feel so badly for them because my group is AWESOME. We all get along well; plus I have made some really great friends that I can see myself being friends with through college, and who knows... maybe even life after? Haha.

Anyways, moral of the story: you need to burst your own bubble and get out there, to mingle & to just be yourself. You never know when you're missing out on a great friend!



Yay friends!

Loves!
(: Katie!

What Would *insert name* Do?

"God enters by a private door into every individual." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hey, it's Megan.  I hope you have a wonderful week ahead of you.  This post will be a little bit longer because frankly, I need it to be, and I feel these issues are important to our global society as well as my home state of MN--now more than ever.

The subject of interfaith interaction and dialogue has been the topic of the week, starting with the above quotation I stumbled across a few days before moving. It didn't hurt that I love Emerson. Here's a recap of my interfaith activities in the past week. I was blessed to hear Dr. Eboo Patel, founder of the  Interfaith Youth Core and author of Acts of Faith, speak on campus on Thursday during both our convocation as well as a book talk, then on Friday I had my first religion class which felt as glorious as History Channel programming in the early 2000s, and later that night I had a two hour conversation with Malyn (fellow blog writer!) on the intersection of religion and politics.

After reading Acts of Faith, finding that quotation, and hearing Dr. Patel speak, I couldn't help but think about getting more involved with interfaith activities on campus, after all interfaith has always been important to me, especially growing up in a very culturally diverse city where I regularly heard five languages being spoken in the hallways of my high school. I put my thoughts aside on Saturday as I went to dinner with some of my freshman friends. Our conversation turned to the finer differences between Christian denominations.  In short, two people in the conversation grew up with the ELCA, though one in a church that was more traditional than the other, one person grew up in an Evangelical Free church, and then there was me with a background in Catholicism.  After the conversation I realized that those kinds of interactions are precisely what interfaith is all about.  I might not be able to fit another club into my schedule, but at least I know I can participate in interfaith dialogue every time I open up a respectful discussion. Oh, and I went to worship services on Sunday morning and Sunday night.

My heart is heavy though as of late.  A student from Concordia has hit the web running, expressing their view that the ELCA and as a result, Concordia, are too flexible in their acceptance of same-sex relationships and LGBT lifestyles. SAGA, Concordia's Straight And Gay Alliance, of which I am an active member, sells t-shirts that simply say "love is love." on the front as our annual fundraiser.  The shirts are quite popular on campus and in opposition, this student is creating and intending to distribute shirts that say "sin is sin." on the front, along with several bible verses that appear to condemn homosexuality on the back.

I don't know how to feel or react, all I know is I'm sad that we have to navigate this issue. The responses of SAGA and other students have ranged anything from saying "Guess we'll just have to be EXTRA loving :)" to suggesting we make new t-shirts with bible verses about love, to calls to volunteer for Minnesotans United  for All Families to creating a "Concordia Votes No" facebook event.  My question is where does interfaith fit into this situation?  How do we create a productive dialogue when we know each side probably won't be swayed and it honestly feels like we're speaking completely different languages.  One side says they are showing love by accepting people for who they are and another side says they are showing love by trying to prevent someone from living in a sinful way. It is honestly difficult for me to extend a hand of peace when these sorts of attitudes are, as my friend puts it, a stepping stone towards violence and other extreme reactions towards LGBT individuals. Nothing worth doing is ever easy though I suppose. So, campus is now dealing with this in addition to the MN marriage amendment with clearly religious undertones. We're busy.

My heart is heavy.  Mostly because I've spent a decent chunk of the last few years fighting for equality and acceptance on behalf of my friends and family.  It can be sometimes hard to see the progress or avoid discouragement when the setbacks hit so close to home.

I'll end with this.  During Dr. Patel's book talk, he told us we are only as loud as the noise we make.  It is our job to be loud when it comes to interfaith cooperation and in this case, love and acceptance of our fellow humans.  Those who feel God condemns homosexuality and LGBT individuals as sinful have spoken loudly, I hope those of us who oppose those sentiments can raise our own voices with tones of peace and love to a level of equal or greater volume. I have faith we will rise to the challenge.

I wish you a peaceful week.

-Megan

Try, just a little.

1. Smile. It makes life a little better.
2. Take notes. You never know when the cute guy next to you will need to copy them. ;D
3. Do NOT get overwhelmed.

So, hi. :)

Today I started my first actual day of college. YAY! My only class today was my inquiry class, which is about gender & sexuality roles in ancient Rome and Greece. I'm extremely excited for this class!

As we were going through the syllabus, which describe the 12 page paper I will be required to write, I started to get REALLY stressed out. I honestly have no idea how I am going to read 70 pages for class twice a week, let alone a 12 page research paper.

And then I realized: I CAN do it. I AM capable of way more than I let myself believe. Sure, 12 pages seems like a lot when in high school my largest paper was only 7 pages, and the teachers practically held my hand through it. I know it is going to be really hard, but I KNOW I can do it.

Getting overwhelmed isn't going to get me anywhere. At all. Just gotta smile, breathe & put in my best effort. And I cannot wait to see where that brings me in life! :)

Loves!
(: Katie

We Now Have a Vlog! Bloopers

We willingly embarrass ourselves for your entertainment.

Don't Judge a Roommate by Their Facebook

1. Breaking mirrors is not fun, especially when it keeps cutting you.
2. Don't set yourself up for failure.
3. Keep an open mind, especially about roommates.

So, hi!

For you readers who haven't taken the wonderful adventure of reading about us writers, I'm a new freshman! YAY! I moved into my dorm yesterday at 8am, and seriously love it.

Now, moving into a dorm- for those of you haven't done it- can be super scary. I've alwasy been an only child and often have had a TON of space to myself (I had my whole basement the last three years); so moving into a small room that I have to share with a complete stranger scared me.

I found out who my roommate was in July, and, as everyone does, I totally creeped on her facebook. Instantly I judged her based solely on what her profile picture looked like. In my mind, I had already figured we wouldn't get along. So, yesterday morning as I was moving in- even though I was extremely excited- I was super scared that I wouldn't get along with my roommate.

Now, I know that even if we don't become the best of friends, I need to keep an open mind about at least living with her and definitely give her the chance the she deserves; which also happens to be the same chance she is giving me. Fair enough, right?

But, there is good news: WE ACTUALLY GET ALONG! :) crazy, right?

Don't judge a book by its cover!

-Katie! :)

We Now Have a Vlog!

Check it out! It is going to be an epic, awesome, fantastic year.

Let the adventure begin.

How To: Watch People Grow

A week ago, I got back from a 10 day adventure across the country with 40 other people to the ELCA National Youth Gathering, saw the ocean, overtook New Orleans with 37,000 other Lutherans, walked into an empty Superdome, got terribly ill, went on a few roller coasters, and had the greatest pleasure of watching people grow.

My home for the past two weeks - bus 718!

When I got on the bus early on the 14th of July, I expected it to be like any other trip... and I was right. It was full of crazy loud teenagers, high tensions, sleep deprivation, and good conversations. But something was different - I was able to watch it all. I had been a student on the last trip to the Youth Gathering in 2009, which was an amazing experience. Now three years later, I decided to tag along for this trip.

I had five "children" in my group, most of whom I knew before this trip. Our conversations in the beginning were rough and a bit sluggish, as expected, but on the last two days something unexpected for me happened. The conversation flowed and flourished and I heard things I never even thought of before. I saw eyes with a new spark and I knew that beyond this trip is where real growth will be seen.

I also saw Megan grow. We had someone drop out of the trip a few months before we left and my mom (the director of youth at my church) decided to invite Megan to go along. Megan was cautious and thought herself into a tizzy about it all. Although I was happy to have my partner-in-crime along for the trip, I was also excited to see her find some other partners-in-crime. And she did. I barely had time to talk to her. And since I cannot speak for her, here is what Megan thought of it all.

So what about me? It's hard to know. When I was younger, I knew if I had suddenly changed after camp and other 'mountain-top experiences'. But now that I'm older, it's harder to tell. I think after this trip and watching so many hearts and minds change, I can't help but feel I've changed and grown myself.

It seems to me that change is easier to see after a period of time. Comparing me a few weeks ago and me now, I can see the change. I dunno what that is, but it's there. I guess only time will tell with new experiences and new people, but I guess I'm ok with that.

Peace!

-Nicole

How To: Let Someone Surprise You

1. Believe everything people tell you.  There's no way they're not telling you the whole truth.
2. Underestimate your friends.
3. Underestimate your parents.
4. Refrain from texting people because you don't want to impose.  It will give them time to drive to your town.
5. Tell everyone where you're going and the exact time you leave.  It will give them time to call your parents.

In case you didn't hear--but you probably did if you read Nicole's last post--I had quite the birthday.  First things first, birthdays are not a big thing in my family.  You get a cake if you're lucky.  We'll take you out to your favorite restaurant eventually, but they've never been super celebrated.  For the record, it's not that we never celebrate, we just do it when it's convenient.  I've always celebrated my birthday on July 3rd when my family gets together because the church and town throws a party. Three of us grandkids have birthdays in July so it's nice and convenient.  Plus there's a fireworks show.  Sometimes I'll have a bonfire in late July or early August if I'm feeling motivated.

I did not expect anything different this year.  I really didn't.  Every time Nicole would mention my birthday, I told her I wasn't planning anything.  She would always get upset and the conversation would end with something like:

Nicole:  You're so frustrating.  You're driving me crazy.
Me: I'm sorry, I told you I might do something in August.

So the night before my birthday, I was feeling a little weird about turning 20.  It's a scary number, especially when you feel like you should be taller or just feel older. I was talking to Nicole when Melissa asked me to come over and watch a movie. I asked Nicole if I should go and she told me I should. Mind you, this was 11:45 at night. I knew Nicole had something to do with it, I thought she put Melissa up to it. I decided to go to get my mind off things and when I walked downstairs, there was a figure in a hoodie just chilling on the couch.  I thought it was Melissa's sister, until the figure started laughing.  Helloooo Nicole. Surprise #1.  At that point I thought that was the extent of the surprise.  I had no reason to believe anything else.  I was in complete and utter shock.  For weeks I had heard her griping about how she was working that weekend. I smiled for the rest of the night--until I went to bed at 4 am.

Melissa and Nicole wanted to take me out for lunch the next day, but I declined, saying I had a grad party to go to. Nicole told me the grad party started at 2...at which point I knew this was a lot deeper than I thought and that my parents knew about this. Surprise #2.  So they took me out to lunch the next day and we made plans to hook up with Melissa after she got off work at 9. Meanwhile, Nicole and I headed to that grad party.  After that, we went to my place, rented a movie, and I started to wind down for what I thought would be a relaxing night.  I decided to check the mail, at which point Nicole told me she told people to write letters to me.  Surprise #3.

We took some time to chill before watching the film when all of a sudden my doorbell rang.  Nicole ran to go get it and at THAT point, I knew I was in for much, much more. Surprise #4.  My friends started showing up and I was treated to my first ever surprise party, which included having packing peanuts poured on me multiple times and one heck of a cake. My parents knew about everything.  Everything.

I had no reason to suspect anything. No one made me suspect anything and even if there were hints, I never picked up on them.  Nicole has never been dishonest and this has dealt a serious blow to my trust! :P  Maybe this is what I get for befriending people with acting experience?  After reluctantly kicking people out because we both had horribly early mornings, we went to bed.  As I was practically in tears out of pure happiness and awe that someone had put in so much time and effort to throw me a party, Nicole said, "I told you, I just like birthdays." Go figure.

And that is how to let someone surprise you.  Needless to say, Melissa and Nicole turned turning 20 into an event I won't soon forget.

With love and hugs,

Megan